I go out to get something done like buy food or a gizmo i need at the time…
I’ve never notice much of anything conclusive…but could also be an allergic reaction from the Noassatol. :rolleyes:
I am pretty clueless. So much so that I used to think I was somehow unattractive. I now realize that isn’t really true, but it took a few women being very obvious about their attraction as well as some observation of women being attracted to other guys and realizing that in many cases I was a lot like the guys they were attracted to.
I still can’t really tell when I’m being checked out, but now I realize that it does happen.
One situation I think I can occasionally tell is when I’m actually talking with a woman, sometimes there’s just something that I pick up on. I think there’s a bit of body language and bit of reading her eyes. The body language is difficult to explain, it’s just a sense. The eyes are also tricky, but I’d say that there is a sort of look of “appraisal” (which I guess is another way of saying “checking me out”) accompanied by a smile, usually a sort of “hidden smile”, like it’s not really for my benefit.
This happened one time and it resulted in a one night stand (I was visiting her family and we lived on different continents). That was what really opened my eyes to this. We had been hanging out and in retrospect I realize that there was a bit of flirting on both sides (though I didn’t even quite catch on that I was flirting), at a certain point we were going to part ways for the day and there was just this “moment”. First it was like what I describe above, then we stopped talking and in a moment of silence that was full of communication via the eyes and face I saw that she was aware of my attraction to her and was just waiting for me to do something. This information came to me in a flash and with a visceral certainty, but I didn’t have the proper instincts to act on it and I soon started to doubt myself. So I just said goodbye and she left. This whole thing hit me so strongly and viscerally that it left me with a bit of an erection.
The one night stand had to wait until we saw each other again. This time she drew me out through conversation and got me to verbally acknowledge my attraction (and she affirmed her attraction to me). This was on the last night that we’d be seeing each other and she pretty much said “let’s go back to my place”.
Since then, I’ve caught on a few times to women scoping me out in a similar manner. So far it hasn’t turned out that way again. I think maybe one reason is that it was so intense an experience that I’m leery of going down that path in my own home town with someone I may have to interact with if things don’t work out well.
No. I’m totally oblivious.
It apparently does happen, because other people there at the time have told me afterwards. But I don’t notice it at all, and can’t tell in retrospect. It’s amazing I ever reproduced.
Yes, usually I can.
Yes. I’m sure I don’t catch it every time, but I do notice. If you have any awareness of body language you usually know when it’s happening, assuming you can actually see the person. Women are generally a bit more subtle about it than men though, probably both because of social roles, and trying to avoid unwanted attention from other men who may see her ogling some guy.
Getting checked out from behind, who knows? I’ve been told by past girlfriends (and my current wife) that I’ve got a nice butt, so I’m sure it happens sometimes. I’ve also noticed that a wedding ring has slightly more power to attract than repel attention. I’m not sure if it’s due to the “if he’s taken, then he must be worth taking” factor, or the subconscious feeling that flirting is harmless since it shouldn’t go anywhere.
I had gay friends that I used to hang out with a lot back around when I graduated from high school. In mixed settings, gay guys have to be a lot more circumspect because of homophobia, but in gay-friendly places, you will often get checked out in a very obvious way. And yes, I’ve had guys come up to me and flat-out ask if I want to fuck.
Ironically, hanging out with gay guys made me more confident around women. Ego boosting helps confidence, and confidence helps you take risks and deal with rejection better. Plus, I figured that if I was getting that much attention I must have something going on. Now if I could only have harnessed my talents for evil earlier in life…
Well, I ended up asking her out to go bowling, and as chance would have it, I did this while in a car full of girls from our flight’s Drill Team, so our conversation on the phone (they could only hear my half of it) was accompanied by a trio of stifled giggles.
I was told soon after that it was all horribly cute.
But yeah, basically she didn’t want to get into a relationship while in training, especially with someone training for a different job, in a different branch of the military, where we’d pretty much never get to actually hang out together after we parted ways, so we became drinking buddies. We’d go out for pizza and get smashed discussing stupid things people in our respective branches had done lately, discuss the various qualities of nearby females (she’s not into that, but she had fun egging me on due to my tendency to cross over into semi-incoherence if suitably impressed by a woman’s physical qualities).
Nowadays we’ll chat over the phone every few weeks about whatever.
Agreed. Every time I’ve ever gotten anywhere with a woman it’s always astounded me.
Not really, no. Only on a very few occasions have I ever noticed that kind of maneuver, and I consider those times aberrations because they were so blatant.
#1. A woman in the cast of a play would reach out and touch me as I went by, if I ever had to squeeze past her in the wings.
#2. A woman was standing close, making direct eye contact and laughing at everything I said.
#3. Unasked-for shoulder rub.
But that across-the-room, down-the-grocery-aisle, check-out-that-guy look? Never. Clueless.
Not only do I miss them checking me out (as rarely as that happens), but I miss giant “I want to fuck you” hints written in bold 50 point fonts and waved around with a bomchikawowwow musical score.
Which is consistent - I never ever grokked why any of my ex-s liked me or found me attractive, nor why my current SO does. I’m not complaining, but I can’t fail to conclude that they’re out their fucking gourds.
The one time I did get the hint was at a party, when I suddenly realized I was absent-mindedly caressing a girl’s calf while talking to her. I immediately stopped and apologized profusely, and she said “oh, I don’t mind” with a come hither gleam in her eye. Then she told me she wouldn’t mind sleeping at my place. Then, when there, she started undressing as soon as the door closed.
I still told her if she’d rather I slept on the couch it was really no bother, and asked whether she was really sure about this :smack:
Raguleader: Sounds like a pretty cool friendship came of it huh? Good times.
Fish: Hey man, it sounds like you’re doing better than the majority of the posters in the thread. Even the most blatant of aberrations seems to slip past a few of us. Myself included.
How did you manage this? :eek:
[quoteI still told her if she’d rather I slept on the couch it was really no bother, and asked whether she was really sure about this[/quote]
Ouch.
Wish I knew. I keep asking, but they never give me a straight answer. I’m considering waterboarding at this point.
Ah yes, Old Faithful. 
Only when I was out with a female friend who told me. And no, it wasn’t all that often at all… :rolleyes:
My step-son is 22, 6’5, athletic, blonde blue eyed Nordic god type with a killer smile. I know, I hate him for it too. Not my genes, don’t blame me.
I am…not those things. When I walk through shopping centres with step-son, I am almost deafened by the thunderous machine-gun rattle of female heads snapping around to scope him out. It is appalling. And this is a controlled experiment - when I walk through shopping centres alone…crickets. Nada.
So all this attention, which is howlingly obvious to me, should be obvious to him? Nah. Oblivious. No freakin’ idea. When I tell him, I just get “Wha…?”
There must be some sort of weird genetic thing going on. We are blind to subtle cues directed at us, but when they are directed at someone else, they stick out like… very prominent sticky-outy things.
What is going on here? Inquiring minds need to know.
Well for one, anyone being 6’5 is going to have people turning and looking, as far as I’ve ever seen.
The rest certainly will draw female attention though.
There’s a joke in here somewhere, but I’ll be damned if I can find it.
Seriously though, it’s so true. You can sometimes feel when a woman is hitting on your friend, but not when a woman is hitting on your. Even if she is actually touching you, can’t feel it. 
Anyone turning their heads? Only the women, and with barely disguised yearning in their eyes. But the point is, he doesn’t notice it.
I was buying a soda one morning and the Quik Stop was filled with morning regulars (male), all well known to the two female cashiers. The door opened and in walked a 35 year old woman who resembled Pam Anderson. The entire store stopped dead. Fifteen men stood and stared, silent and motionless.
The two cashiers began shooting laser beams from their eyes at everyone, but no one moved an inch until the woman walked out, with every eye following every motion until out of sight. At that point the cashiers began loudly telling everyone in the store exactly what they thought about THAT. It was amazing.
The silicone slut really not being my ideal woman, I had lots of time to look around and soak the whole thing in. I thought about her, what she might be thinking, if she liked it, how it happened all day everywhere she went, men gawking, women hating. It was very alien to me and my daily life.
A few years later, pushing a heavy cart in Home Depot, I happened to glance to the side. A woman was stopped cold dead, staring open mouthed at my tan, muscular, construction worker arms with naked lust. It was unexpected, I was late, I was pushing a heavy cart. I’m afraid I shot her a withering scowl and she snapped back to reality. I had just experienced the same thing that Miss Silicone did daily. For the first time, I experienced the “Are you staring at my tits?” moment, complete with the awkward “I got caught staring at your tits” reaction. (OK, there was that other time the lady opened the front door and stared straight at my crotch, then looked up at me staring at her staring at my crotch, but that was just funny.)
I’m glad I don’t get that unfiltered look of total porn lust. It was disturbing. Yeah, it was flattering on some level just based on rarity. I’m fairly average/ugly, but well muscled. I’m straight, I’m horny, I’m single. I don’t normally get that look, or I don’t notice it. I’m glad. It was creepy. Now I know why chicks complain about being objectified.
Uncle Eric, is that you?
Perhaps they’re intimidated and don’t approach? I know I am, when I encounter the extremely gorgeous.
Another thought… If people always act one way around you, you may not think it unusual and therefore not notice it.
Add99’s second story shows the opposite of that, when one catches a glimpse of how the ‘other side’ lives. I remember going to my cousins’ place (sons and daughters of the aforementioned Uncle Eric) and seeing the kids’ inscriptions preserved on the walls of the original bathroom, from when the house was a summer cottage. They told a tale of high-school popularity and parties and summer fun… and suddenly I realized that I was seeing a little of the lives of high-school A-listers from the inside. So different from my experience.
Well after seeing your movie, I can’t imagine women wouldn’t be falling out of the sky on you! (alas, there’s not enough of you on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjcnGNmKrCY )
Once when I was at the Rosamontag parade in Mainz a woman grabbed my ass. Other than that, no. Now that I have be involuntarily thrust back on the market it would be nice to know.