OK, some of you may remember the Pregnant Dopers and Doper Moms thread from last summer. I got some great information, advice and stories from everyone. I really enjoyed that thread. Now, I have a new question - how far along were you when you first knew you were pregnant, and how did you know (or did you?).
You can probably see where I’m going with this. On the advice of those in that previous thread, (I think it was Twiddle?) I did buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility in December and started reading it. In January, after The Talk, we went off birth control. And now, after just 8 weeks, I’m pregnant. :eek: I really think it wouldn’t have happened so fast if I hadn’t read Weschler’s book. I also bought the software that’s based on the book (http://www.tcoyf.com which made it SO much easier to track my temperature and cervical fluid. I highly recommend this for anyone trying to get pregnant. Or, for that matter, for anyone trying NOT to get pregnant.
Still, it was NOT supposed to happen so fast. I’m 34 (ancient, according to all the magazine articles about having kids) and was expecting this would take up to a year. Frankly, it just doesn’t seem real. But it is. I started to wonder last Wednesday, took two home tests on Thursday and Friday (that seemed slightly inconclusive as the second line was so faint) and another Saturday morning that seemed to clinch it (according to the software, Saturday was when my period was supposed to start). My husband was so happy he wanted to tell everyone right away at our family breakfast (his grandparents, us and my sisters-in-law). My sisters-in-law were so excited that they talked us into going to the clinic right down the road to get the blood test right away. So we did - all four of us (Mr. Cricket and my sisters-in-law and me). Whew! I know that I ovulated on March 1, so I’m only a couple of weeks pregnant. That would explain why I keep feeling that this is so unreal - although I will say that my breasts hurt like HELL and I’m hungrier than usual.
The neat thing? Yesterday, when this was all happening? It was Mr. Cricket’s and my 6th wedding anniversary.
I keep switching between utter panic, fear, disbelief, and excitment.
Wow, congratulations! Hope everything goes swimmingly for you.
I can’t remember how far along I was; just a day or two over my missed period, I think. Now I’m hoping for delivery any day. Enjoy being able to see your toes!
With my first pregnancy, which was unplanned, it took a couple of months. My periods were very irregular at that time. I thought I had a touch of the flu I couldn’t shake! My breasts didn’t hurt because I had a water bed, and no pressure was put on them. In fact, that’s how I figured it out: I spent the night at a friends house, slept on a firm mattress (I sleep face-down) and woke up in pain. That’s when it hit me: OMG, I’m pregnant!
Second pregnancy: I went off the Pill when I wanted to get ready. Stayed off for 3 months, with alternate methods of birth control. Took us about 2 weeks of trying to conceive. This time, I knew right away, cuz I knew which symptoms to look for.
Third pregnancy (Seven years after the second one!), we tried for 8 months, and finally ended up using fertility tests to decide when the window of opportunity was. Hubby was working out of town M-F at that point, and a couple of times, he had to make the 3 hour trip home so we could do the nasty! After 2 months of using fertility predictors, the date for my period came and went. When it was a week late, I called hubby at work and told him. He said “wait another week, and if it still doesn’t come, do a test”. I knew I’d never be able to think about anything else if I followed his advice, so I went and bought a test right away. Positive! Sadly, it wasn’t the boy we’d been trying for, it was a third girl. Happily, she was hugh (11 lbs. 14 oz.), healthy, and now, at 3 years old, is the light of my life.
It happened pretty fast for us, too, and I was past 30.
However, I had no idea. I always had periods that were 6 weeks apart, so I never really kept track of when they were “due.” We were on vacation and I was feeling tired, and nauseous, and just sort of “off.” I was crabby that I had wrecked yet another vacation with poor health (I was sick our entire honeymoon). But it started to dawn on me that maybe I wasn’t sick… took a pregnancy test, got a positive, shocked my husband with the result.
I figured out that I might be pregnant when I noticed I hadn’t had to buy any maxi-pads for about 6 weeks, and I was ravenous constantly. (I admit, I was a little slow on the uptake.) I took three home pregnancy tests, all negative. The fourth finally registered positive. By that time, I was about 10 weeks gone.
This all occurred about two years after three (3) doctors had told me I would probably never be able to have a baby.
I had an extremely easy pregnancy – no morning sickness, no breast tenderness, nothing except 29 pounds of extra weight and frequent heartburn. And BTW, I was 30 when I had my baby.
With my first daughter I was told I couldnt make babies so it never crossed my mind I was pregnant. (We had done hormone fertility treatments and schedules and ovulation predictors for about 4 years and gave up… too stressful) So I’m wondering why I feel like crud all the time and my breasts feel like punching bags. I go2 weeks to 3 months between periods so I don’t even try to keep track. I take a test so I can call the doctor and confidently answer not pregnant to what is always their first question when a female calls in sick! Jokes on me! We had a perfect baby girl in May 2001.
Now I had been taking the pill and it made me sick so I stopped and so I take a test 4 weeks after I took my last pill and I’m pregnant! They told me it is very common for people right off the pill to be pregnant. Something called a rebound pregnancy? I was a bit scatterbrained that day. I’m seven weeks this week and TOMORROW we go for our first ultrasounds. The ultrasound is an amazing thing and really drives home what is happening in your body. I get them almost monthly until about 30 weeks and then bi-weekly - weekly. The one and only benefit to being “High Risk!”
Oh and 34 is not as ancient as it used to be. My OB said that they don’t consider under 40 to be that ancient any more. My mom was 35 when she had my brother and that was almost unheard of then… now people are 45 and having healthy babies.
We started trying (I would have been about 28). A year later we started trying with help. A year after that (a year filled with AI, shots, surgery, ultrasounds), we gave up. Six months later we started the adoption process. Two months after that we discovered there was a baby boy soon to be ours from South Korea. Four months later he came home.
Two weeks after that we discovered we were nearly three months pregnant. I had decided I wasn’t going to get pregnant, so I wasn’t paying attention. And I had other things on my mind. I had some morning sickness - which I wrote off to “a touch of the flu” or “something I ate” and was tired all the time - which I wrote off to stress waiting for my son to arrive home. My cycles weren’t normal, and I hadn’t been tracking them. It was finally the tender breasts that gave it away.
And, before anyone jumps on it – it doesn’t “always happen that way” its actually very rare to get pregnant immediately after adopting. About 8% of couples who were told they were infertile and adopt eventually get pregnant. And it certainly wasn’t the lack of stress, having a child you have never met living in a different country and waiting for the US and Korean governments to decide he can come home is not the most relaxing time.
My son arrived home on March 19th, four years ago, so we have an anniversary coming up.
Thanks for all of your comments! If I keep hearing this enough, I hope it will seem more real. I took the little disposable plastic thingie that they used for the blood test and I keep looking at it over and over. Wow.
Dangerosa, Tanookie, and Lorene - how long did the whole Painful Breasts thing last? I’m hoping only the first trimester because I’m already tired of wearing a bra 24/7. This is much worse than my usual PMS breast pain. However, I guess it could be worse - I could be nauseous (although that could happen, too. It’s early days yet).
I think I’m probably just as clueless as some of you have said that YOU were. It’s only because I’m tracking this so thoroughly that I know so early (can I just say again that Taking Charge of Your Fertility and the associated software is wonderful?)
OK, so I know to read What to Expect When You’re Expecting , The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy and my Mom has already recommended Dr. Spock’s book. Any others that are really good?
Cricket, ready for a different type of bedtime reading…
I found the Everything Pregnancy book to be my favorite general resource. I also liked the daily calendar they gave me at pregnancy.com.
I honestly don’t remember when the breast pain stopped and right now with munchkin 2 all my symptoms are worse than with the first shrug I did notice that it was about the 6th week both times when the symptoms really went into overdrive…
I will say the second trimester was the best and I’m looking forward to it again. Past the first trimester, pregnant enough to be cute, and on a hormone high that’s actually good (feel good, energy is up, happy sex drive) The last trimester was hard but that had to do with bedrest and water retention… two things I hope you will not have to the extreme I did.
I just find it so amazing that I have an entire human being incased in my body and that I get to keep her afterwards! I kept thinking they were going to find some reason to not let her leave the hospital with me… new mom paranoia
Please find an OB you love. I had a crappy one and demanded to be switched at about 4 months. It is so important to have someone who knows what they are doing and who respects your feelings and values your input.
Sorry to tell you that my breast pain lasted at least 6 months. The initial soreness went away after the first trimester, but I’d be driving down the road and suddenly get a shooting pain in my left nipple. My first reaction would be to grab my breast. It must’ve been interesting for the folks in the cars next to me!
I really liked the www.parentsplace.com website while I was pregnant. The message boards there are really supportive (you can join an mb for people due the same month as you), and I loved the interactive pregnancy calendar.
The What to Expect books are really good. Don’t know about Dr. Spock - unless he’s been updated you might want to check out more recent books. Dr. Sears is sort of the Dr. Spock for our generation. I also had one called Pregnancy Month to Month that was pretty good.
Make sure you pick up Baby Bargains* by Denise and Alan Fields. Fantastic consumer advice on the myriad products you’ll be buying in the next few months.
ooh, Morgainelf, if the Baby Bargains authors are the same people who wrote a similar book about weddings, I’ll definitely buy it. I bought the wedding book way back when and it became my bible! I had the same reaction about the Spock book and definitely wouldn’t use it as the only reference. However, my mom is pretty smart about these things so I figure its’ still gonna have some good info in it.
And as for 6 months of this Breast Hell, I shudder to think of it. It’s pretty hard to feel sexy and desirable when everytime Mr. Cricket looks at me I screech “dont’ touch the breasts, don’t touch the breasts.” :o
Tanookie, I’ll look for the Everything Pregnancy book. And thanks also, for the OB advice. I’m in an HMO and not sure how much choice I’ll have about that.
Breast pain? Well I’m fairly well endowed, but I wore a bra 24x7 until I was done breastfeeding at six months. I seem to remember they were less painful, but more ample than normal and I needed it.
I find the “What to Expect” books painful. Information is poorly organized (by month?!) And it combines horror with complacency (i.e. The Best Odds Diet). But they are the standard (my nurse practioner made me promise to read them with a grain of salt - course kosher salt). I did like The Girlfriend’s Guide - she isn’t as hippie as a lot of authors - if you want a medicated birth, or want to bottlefeed, she sure isn’t going to tell you not to. But her book is funny and reassuring.
And I hated Baby Bargains. Its the only book I’ve ever gone back to the bookstore and demanded a refund from. I bought the book to discover how to find the best crib for the best deal - not to get a breastfeeding lecture. 'Course, when I bought it we were adopting and I was a little oversensative to the whole breastfeeding thing. Not to mention their advice was completely geared to newborns, and I was picking up a six and a half month old from the airport. The best advice on baby stuff - they don’t use it long, so borrow as much as you can from your sisters, girlfriends, coworkers and don’t get caught up too much in the emotion of “buying a carseat.”
I have an HMO too and they’ve just okayed the OB I had then to be my OB now. (I had the last baby on different insurance) A referral from your PCP carries a decent amount of weight.
A great place for baby clothes and supplies is to find a nice consignment shop. I found a great one nearby and get a lot of stuff there. Disney store clothes for $3 instead of $20 since she’s only going to wear it one season works for me! I also do a bit of yard sale-ing. You can get some great deals on toys and stuff. I got our changing table for $10!
If you do decide to breastfeed… I got this piece of advice too late… don’t let your baby use you as a pacifier! I plan to try pumping this time… the last time was a disaster!
See if there is a mom’s group in your area too… we have one here and being new to the neighborhood it was great to discover! I found my mother and mother-in-law to be far more nervous about the pregnancy/baby than I was. I boggled at the fact that each had two kids and still were like this.
Actually too… a carseat/booster is one thing they use the longest. Kids need support until they are about 80 pounds and a certain height. That’s the one purchase you make that you really shouldn’t skimp on. I like the eddie bauer seat by cosco.
Oh and enjoy being pregnant even when ya feel blah. It’s an amazing time. Take this time to be excited about the baby and to celebrate your couplehood. It will be a while before dinner out isn’t overshadowed by guilt over having a sitter or by picking french fries off the floor. Date again over the next few months… All three of you will appreciate it later.
I was 21 and breaking up with the boyfriend. I went out shopping to celebrate my freedom from him, and for some reason I bought a pregnancy test. Much to my horror and dismay, I was pregnant.
I think I was only a few weeks along at the time. I had morning sickness so bad that I remember going to buffets just so I could eat more than once because I knew I’d throw up the first few rounds. That ended by month 4.
Other than that it was ok. I’ll never do it again, but it was ok.
Siemsi -congrats to you to. I don’t think I’d read that you were pregnant too.
Frankly, from what I’m reading, I should probably stick with my sore breasts and count myself lucky- it sounds easier to deal with than morning (or afternoon, or evening…) sickness.
Tanookie - My husband’s family are yard sale fanatics. He and his sister and grandparents go out every Saturday morning. I figure I’ll be fully outfitted with everything I need from area yard sales!
Cricket
Havn’t read thru this whle thing - not even the OP yet but had to post to say:
YeeeeeHawwwww!! Oh my mcms_cricket I’m so freakin’ thrilled that my suggestion of TCOYF helped. I got knocked up my first month trying thanks to that book so I’m glad it worked for you too.
E-mail me if you want to talk pregnancy and babies, and post to let me know if I don’t have my email-me thingy enabled.
