Doper Moms and Pregnancy -redux

In My Humble Opinion
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Ok now for a substantive post…

Like I said it took only one month trying for us. I went off of the pill in late August, used alternative birth control through September and October and practiced charting. I knew at about 4 weeks pregnant. I ovulated on November 16th and took several postitive HPTs on December 2nd, the day my period was due.

I like http://www.babycenter.com for their email updates each week.

Don’t even begin to try to follow the whole-wheater than thou “best odds diet” in What to Expect. I ate a slice of fudge cake every single day thru my second trimester and they are saying not to feel guilty about an apple juice sweetened cookie once a week? Please… Just eat a balanced diet, focus on the fruits and veggies, and take your vitamin.

There are so many great books out there. I like the Hip Mama ones and the Girlfriends ones for light reading and Your pregnancy week-by-week I think it is called, for more medical stuff. A very new and spendy but mighty cool book with fantastic fetal development images is From Conception to Birth by Alexander Tsiaras. And I’m more or less and attachment parent-er so I like anything Sears.

Again congratulations!!

Twiddle

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I’m with Twiddle–avoid that “Best Odds” stupid diet. “Your Pregnancy Week by Week” is informative, but the author has a “disease of the week” mindset that I think is a crappy thing to add to a pregnancy book.

I think Sears’ pregnancy book is wonderful but you do have to keep in mind that they are attachment parenting advocates. Some of their advice just isn’t practical (or appealing) if you’re not into AP but I like their gentle style and knowledgeable content–and their frequent use of quotes by regular folk.

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Twiddle! I was hoping you’d see this. I hope you realize that this is all your fault! :wink:

Thanks for the book suggestions, I’ll check them out. I’m visiting my mother this weekend (what timing!) so I plan to buy a couple. I will eventually just check a bunch out of the library, but since I’m a librarian, I can’t do that yet as I’m not ready to tell everyone at work. Maybe I’ll sneak in wearing dark glasses, a trenchcoat and a fedora!

Thanks Twiddle and Cranky for the warning about the “best odds” diet. I will probably still read the book, but will take that with a grain of salt. I think I eat a pretty healthy diet so I don’t need a book to make me feel guilty that I ate a cookie or piece of cake. Ugh. And the disease of the week think? No thanks, I worry enough about things as it is.

OK, what with the librarian backround and all, I can probably find the answer myself, but since you both know, explain the term “attachment parenting” - please? I keep seeing it in conjunction with the Sears book.
Cricket, trying to learn it all.

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Yay, I’m glad this is seeming real to you!

My painful breasts were gone by the end of the 1st trimester. Can I just say, I LOVED being pregnant! It’s probably not good for me to go down this road, since my baby isn’t even 6 months old and it’s too early to think about #2, but, man, I loved it! I felt great, the world loves a pregnant woman, and it was so nice to escape all the body-image bs for 9 months. Of course, my last few months were during a really hot summer, but still…

Oh, right, we’re talking about you, not me!

Attachment parenting is basically child-centered parenting. Part of it is very instinctual—respond to your baby’s needs. It can seem daunting, though—breastfeeding on demand, cloth diapering, wearing baby in a sling a lot, cosleeping, letting baby set the schedule. I know I’m oversimplifying a little here…but I think it’s a good thing to explore, and then refine to your own lifestyle. I do a lot of this, but not all, and I don’t feel guilty about that.

I do like the Dr. Sears book for the good information (and his website askdrsears.com) but did find the tone hard to take at times—i.e., do you REALLY need to go back to work? How sick are you REALLY—maybe you can do without medication, etc. Patronizing, I guess is the word. And I am a breastfeeding mom, but thought I would poke my own eyes out if I read the phrase ‘liquid gold’ to refer to breastmilk one more time! Still, it’s the book I turn to most often now. I would say the Girlfriend’s Guide is a good balance to the tone of Sears.

Epregnancy.com is the website/message board I used, and I am still with a lot of the same Sept02 moms on the parenting board, geoparent.com.

Basically, I think you already have the ‘grain of salt’ mindset, and that will be invaluable. Yes, it’s important to be mindful and concerned, but you also want to be able to enjoy your pregnancy.

Gosh, I could go on and on! Best of luck to you!

Lorene, who now has BOB (baby on the brain!)

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Pregnancy #1, got pregnant first try. Before I realized it, my sinuses were stuffed up and my feet hurt all the time. Took a test and hey…I’m pregnant.

Other than the standard boobs hurting, body aches and itchy as hell skin for the first three months, I had a very uneventful pregnancy. My sinuses were stuffed and feet hurt like a mother until the day after I delivered.

#2, happened effortlessely. Meaning, niether Mr. Ujest nor myself remember copulating in the month of May that year. We must have, as it ias our anniversary, but, it was highly forgettable. :D. We were planning on starting again that June. Since I had a period ( actual first trimester bleeding from moving about 1500 lbs of rock from my garden by myself. bleeding that lasted exactly five days and was exactly like my period.) I was off with the doctor’s prognosis until late september.

That pregnancy was effortless. I never felt pregnant ( only sinsuses were stuffed the entire time. Feet were surprisingly ok.) and I had tons of energy and looked great too. Delivery was a piece of cake ( epidural)

I would do it all again in a heart beat.

Best of luck and take it easy.

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Wow attachment parenting sounds frightening!

We let the munchkin tell us when she was hungry, tired, wet, bored or whatever … I felt that was just common sense… but we fell off the breast feeding wagon pretty quickly-- for pain purposes-- (although I plan to try again when baby 2 arrives in the fall) I would never cosleep and using a snuggle carrier almost killed me … I have poor enough balance without the extra off center weight! You also simply can’t hold them 24 hours a day!!

That said… my 21 month old sleeps like a charm (12+ hours overnight and a 3 hour or so nap) She’s completely off bottles as of a month or so ago and that was just a night bottle before bed for a few months. She’s developed a miraculous ability to entertain herself and will march toys around in some elaborate scheme for almost an hour! She’s all around a pretty easy going kid and we’re hoping it has something to do with us so maybe her sibling will have some of these wonderful traits!

Although she also has some odd traits too as she’s munching cereal while hiding in a box with her bear and blanket… and before she eats the cereal she has to rub each piece under one arm.

As much as I poured over pregnancy books… I didn’t read a single parenting book.

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Congrats Cricket!

I was 37 when I got pregnant and we were only trying for 2 months. I was depressed because I was sure I was getting my period (felt like PMS) and then one day I felt sick and went home from work early. On the way, just for curiosity’s sake, I picked up a pregnancy test and it was positive. We’re going to start working on baby #2 in a couple of months. Baby #1 is now 16 months old.

I liked Baby Bargains alot (and yes, it’s by the same people who did the weddings book). Great ideas for saving money and for deciding what you really need and what’s just window dressing. I have Your Pregnancy Week by Week, which is fun–just ignore the “disease of the week.” There is a lot of fun information there–my husband and and I read that book together for the entire pregnancy.

Have fun! I’m looking forward to pregnancy #2.

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Attachment parenting isn’t that frightening - many of my girlfriends have done it. We co-slept for a while with my son (my daughter has always really preferred her own bed) and it did increase the amount of sleep everyone got (if not the quality of my sex life). I’ve never been a sling person. My son was adopted, so breastfeeding was not a (practical) option (yeah, I know about adoptive breastfeeding).

I do have issues with attachment parenting - starting with the name. The name implies that those of us who didn’t breastfeed or sleep with our kids, or worked outside the home, or whatever components of attachment parenting your choose - are less attached (bonded, loving) to our kids - and our kids are less attached to us. There is an undercurrent of the importance and need of forming good “bonds” from infancy and that your child and your relationship with your child will be screwed up if this isn’t done - and as a mom who missed the first six and a half months of her sons life, that concept is patently offensive.

Dr. Sears, by the way, knows better and has several adopted kids. But not all proponents of his methodology really understand this.

Best advice, get yourself informed about as much as possible - but don’t scare yourself. Take all the information in, and make the desicions that work best for YOU. If that means homebirth - great - just make an educated decision. If that means a hospital labor with lots o’ drugs - great - just make an educated decision. Try and see the points of the other side as often as you can - but DO let all advice (including this) go in one ear and out the other or you will be insane before the baby arrives. Learn to smile and nod.

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My former husband and I were trying.
I had read a book and knew to look for implantation spotting, which i noticed I had 2 days after sex (we did not have sex often, for a good reason).
Then, a week later, my boss (I was a go go dancer) said, “Your tits look slightly bigger”.
I didn’t notice as I look a them from above, but when I got home from work, my husband said the same thing!
So, I pretty much knew, and then I missed my period and was almost positive.
Then I went to PP and got tested a week after missing my period and it came out positive!
We were quite happy and my son turned 10 Sunday.(he may be viewed on my web page)

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Hmm. So, it sounds as if attachment parenting is partly just common sense, up to a point. I mean, when your baby is very tiny, of course you should respond to your baby’s needs when s/he’s tiny. But I admit I’ve always had an issue with a baby/child sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed. And speaking as one who will need to go back to work very soon after the birth, I certainly don’t need anyone to make me feel more guilty than I’ll already feel. Interesting. I’ll keep that handy grain of salt with me when I read the Sears book, as well.

Vanilla, I have to admit that I noticed right away (almost before anything else) that my breasts were bigger (though I admit I wasn’t dancing!).

I love all this advice -gives me so much to think about!
Cricket

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Like I said, I’m more or less an APer. I have a problem with the labels too, because I think that as a mom educated about all the possible choices, what I actually do really does not fall into one category.

For example, my daughter co-slept with us for her first four months. I loved loved loved co-sleeping. Then when she and I started to keep each other awake at night, I stuck her in her crib to cry it out for a few nights and now she goes to sleep in her own bed like a charm. That combination of choices would make me not quite an APer and not exactly a Ferberer either. ::shrug:: I just research stuff and then do what my instincts say, and more importantly I do what works. My instincts said “keep co-sleeping” but what worked is having her learn to fall asleep on her own.

One caution cricket. As you research and think about what your parenting style and choices might be - avoid Ezzo like the plague. No matter what style of parenting you end up with, that man is dangerous.

Twiddle

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Oh? I haven’t run across that name yet (it’s only been a few day!). Now come on, you can’t make a comment like that and not follow it up! Who is Ezzo and why should I avoid him like the plague? Enquiring minds want to know!

Cricket, on the edge of her seat

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Gary Ezzo, author of On Becoming Baby Wise

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My two bits of advice…if you’re interested in the snuggling aspect of attachment parenting…you may think aboput getting a Snugli, because they’re relatively inexpensive…don’t.

I strongly recommend getting a BabyBjorn. They fit better, and distribute the weight better.

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Ezzo basically advocates a parent-based schedule for feeding/sleeping/etc. even in very very young infants. He backs it up with a hogepoge of religious beliefs, warnings about spoiled and out-of-control babies, and questionable medical “facts”. There have been cases of babies becoming malnourished, dehydrated, depressed(!), and even dying in households that follow his methods. I second the suggestion to avoid him at all costs.
As for your good news, Congratulations!!!
I knew right away with both of my pregnancies (one almost two-year-old boy, and another boy due in June), even before I’d missed a period. I was tired, tender, and just felt different somehow. If you haven’t already, find yourself an online baby calender (ivillage has a nice one, but you’ll need to register). They list all the day by day developmental milestones and I’ve really enjoyed mine. Checking it out, I’m always facinated to think of my little sprout growing deep inside me–developing his fingernails, forming his ears, etc.

Also, when you hit the baby-store I can’t recommend getting a “Boppy” enough. It’s like a horseshoe shaped pillow that you wrap around yourself to lay the baby on for breastfeeding (or even bottle feeding if you’re going that way). And later, when he’s reached the point where he’s almost sitting up, you can plop him down into the hole and the pillow will wrap around his bottom, giving him support and really helping him with learning to balance. I don’t know what I would have done without mine.

Enjoy, and good luck!

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Boppys are great - although I never owned one! They aren’t bad for mom’s sore butt either.

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I worship my boppy. Made breastfeeding so easy, and it was a safe place for my baby to sit when he was first learning to hold himself upright. At 16 months he still breastfeeds at night before bed and he asks to nurse by asking for “boppy.” I’ll be sad when it’s time to give that up.

We didn’t co-sleep. Aaron slept in a pack’n’play bassinet in our room for the first three months (I pretty much slept in my glider rocker–another excellent thing to have) and then we moved him into his crib in his own room. He’s taken to it just fine. Unless he’s sick or teething, he sleeps through the night with no problem.

And they make co-sleepers that attach to your bed, so that the baby’s not really in your bed, but attached to it. See this one http://www.armsreach.com/product_orig.asp as an example.

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Hah! My 2 year old still loves her Boppy. She sits in it to watch TV. :rolleyes: At least I can back the Boppy up and have her sit in it at a decent distance from the television.

Dangerosa, I don’t remember the breast feeding lecturing in Baby Bargains, but then I was planning to breast feed so probably wasn’t too sensitive to it. I did find the advice really helpful, and still refer to it (and Toddler Bargains) when buying “stuff”. I also have the Consumer Reports book, which I like but didn’t find as helpful as the Fields’ book.

Interesting all of this talk about AP and Dr. Sears! I just remembered the name, so threw it out for cricket to look into - I don’t have it myself. I agree with some of the posters - do what you think is right. On the other hand when you’re at your wit’s end, books can be helpful. I’ve really liked Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, especially her advice “start as you intend to continue.” I still use that advice.

I hope you don’t have the same breast pain issues I did! My body wasn’t happy being pregnant, and I won’t list all of the annoying things that happened to it while I was.

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Thanks for the information about Enzo (and the link, Beagledave). I guess I need to read a whole lot of books in the next few months. I think, so far, that I probably fit in the middle between the Sears and Enzo camps. I don’t think (at this point -with no reading, and 8.5 months Before Baby) I agree that the baby should sleep in my bed, but I certainly don’t agree that the baby should totally be on MY schedule instead of vice-versa. I think I’ll read both books and some in-between and make something up. I guess I don’t really see myself raising a child based on any one book/approach. I agree, though, that “start as you continue” is great advice. What do you all think (if anything) of .John Rosemond? I’ve been reading his Friday columns in my newspaper and I like his approach to dealing with slightly older children. Some of it makes sense.

I will remember BabyBjorn over Snugli ( I did look at the links, and the BabyBjorn does look like a better product). I will also remember that a boppy should perhaps be required equipment. Makes sense to me.

I have already found the ivillage calendar - have printed March and it is up on my fridge. Somehow makes it seem more real.

Belladonna -nice to see how. How long until you’re due? I know you’re much further along than I am
Cricket - with lots to think about!

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Oh, and Morgainelf, you might as well go ahead and list all the annoying things. After all, I certainly can’t back out now so I might as well hear it all.
Cricket - who’s a bit well-endowed and already can’t even walk without 'em hurting a bit. Ugh.