In my Philosophy of Religion class we’ve been discussing belief vice evidence, among other things. One topic that has come up is that it is possible to believe something without any evidence, as proven by the fact that a child will believe in Santa Clause simply because someone he fully knows and trusts tells him it is so. This same phenomenon is exemplified by our need for GQ.
I don’t remember if I ever believed in Santa myself, but some of my younger cousins definitely do. I’m not a parent (yet? ) but…man I can’t even imagine…I think I would have a hard time explaining the concept of God to a child after the crushing realization that there isn’t a Santa Claus.
Did the Santa thing with my kids until they started school. I wanted to be the one to debunk the myth in my own way. By that time they’re old enough to understand the santa game and not destroy the game for younger kids or even older ones who still believe. They can understand that magic is not reality and that magic and fantasy add fun to life.
It all depends on how the parents approach it. Children are generally a lot more savvy than parents give them credit for. It’s not that big a stretch for them to understand the difference between man-made mysteries and the unfathomable mysteries of the universe. By the time they’re 5 or 6 kids already know that their parents aren’t really infallible - yet they still have faith in them. Considering the highly technical world we live in, kids believe in a lot of things for which they have no evidence. In fact we all do.
If done properly, it is a rite of passage for the child and not a kick in the stomach. I certainly wouldn’t expect the santa debunking to destroy a kid’s belief in God. But I guess it depends on how many divine powers one has ascribed to santa while the game was in play. We never did the “all knowing” Santa thing where the gifts were predicated on Santa’s ability to see a kid’s every transgression.
My adult kids still get one gift each year with the tag “From Santa”. You’re never too old to play.
I did, but was <b>blindingly smashingly happy</b> to find out the truth when I was five and a half.
Since I’ve written a kid’s book about Santa Claus, I have to say that my kid will be told as soon as he asks. And shown the book (even if I never find an interested publisher!).
Of course, we’re in a rather religiously dichotomous household, and Santa will visit his grandparents house (ours is still up for debate).
We’re not actively encouraging the SC thing, but we’re not discouraging it either. So far I don’t think the kid is buying it, though. I never believed in him as a kid, either.
I’m not a parent but I do have a brother that is 5 and a step-sister that is 6 and my brother really does not say anything about Santa Clause either way but my step sister believes in him very deeply so I would never tell her anything other than that Santa is real…the problem with kids who’s parents say he is not real is that they go around spreading the news to every kid that they can find and of course other kids end up coming home and crying, beleive me I have seen it.
Some people argue that telling your kids about Santa Claus is lying and for that reason they’ll not do it; lying to anyone is never justfied.
Others worry that if the kid finds out the truth all trust in the parent will forever be destroyed.
Still others object on religious grounds - Christmas as Jesus’ birthday and nothing else.
I myself will probably do Santa with my kids. One of my best memories is the Christmas Eve my brother sisters and I crammed ourselves into the hall closet and spent the night in a tangle of arms and legs on a nest of blankets, trying to catch Santa. I have no memory of finding out the truth however.
One of my few recollections of my great-grandmother was that she discouraged parents from doing Santa Claus. She was religious, and her rational was that when kids found out the truth, they’d figure that you can’t trust in something you can’t see, and lose faith in god.
Though I respected my great-grandmother, I believe that teaching to “trust but verify” is not negative, but in fact a very positive lesson. I suppose my being an atheist is related to that.
However, that’s not why we do Santa Clause for our young boys. We do it because it’s fun for them, and fun for us.
We didn’t tell our kids one way or another. We just never supported it, or denied it. The older one figured out something was suspicious by the time she got into Kindergarten. When she asked, we asked her to go through her reasoning process, then praised her for being so smart. The little one never believed - she always said Deeya (her grandfather) brought the presents. She was right.
No trauma, good praise and support for being skeptical and thinking for themselves, and they’ve both grown into good atheists and thinking for themselves.
My kids are firm believers in Santa (they are 4 and 5). Its a LOT of fun, and a great bribe for good behavior. Even now - in June - “can Santa see me if I’m naughty?” And I don’t worry about lying to my children. I lie to them all the time - “we can’t go because they are closed now” has been particualrly effective. Eventually, they will figure the Santa thing out out, which will make them good critical thinkers and we will praise their intellegence, tell them that they know a grown up secret and not to spoil it for any little kids…
Of course, me being a Deist UU and my husband being an atheist, we aren’t too concerned that this will destroy a believe if God or worried that our children will not associate Christmas with the birth of Christ.
I didn’t really care what my kids believed. My wife wanted to keep up the Santa Claus myth so I played along. When my daughter was around 8, she asked if Santa really existed. I told her the truth. By the next Christmas, she had forgotten our conversation and was a believer again.
When I was a kid, my mother (a devout Christian) made certain that my brother and I not believe in Santa. Her reasoning was not religious but just that when someone gives you a gift, you should be thankful to the giver, not an imaginary character.
I sit firmly in the “don’t tell no lies” group. I’m not condemning those that do, it’s just not for us. I believe kids should learn to deal with the reality of the situation, and if you can’t make your own magic without telling lies, then you try harder.
I can’t remember ever believing in Santa myself; I do remember being about 4 and thinking that the tags with our names on them looked an awful lot like the way my mom wrote (even though she wrote them in all caps).
We have not told our daughter (almost 4) anything about Santa. She gets it all from the environment, in a sort of osmosis. At age 2, in August, she started making him birthday cakes. shrug She enjoys Santa, and seems to believe in him, and we haven’t actively discouraged her, but we won’t tell her he exists, either. I think pretty soon she will really know that he’s a fairy tale, and will be playing along for the fun of it–if she doesn’t have her suspicions already.
Our view on Santa is that it is an idea. A feeling. A generous, loving feeling. Everyone gets to be visited by Santa and everyone gets to be Santa. It is spreading joy and happiness and love. The fat guy in the suit is a representation of that idea.
We make him homemade pizza every year and write a thank you note.
Just like other things in life–“he” exists if you believe in “him.”
That’s the explanation we give our child.
No lies, no deception. Just an idea that spreading joy and happiness is everyone’s responsibility and everyone’s privilege.
Christmas is the day that is celebrated as Jesus’ birthday - it is not his birthday. Santa Claus does not exist.
That’s what I was told, and what I told my daughter. I’m sure it does children no harm to believe in Santa Claus, but I always tried to tell my daughter the truth, to give her rational answers to all her questions, and to teach her to question what she was taught. I have no feelings about other parents’ desire to perpetuate the myth, and am perfectly happy to play along with their wishes.
I guess I have to take some exception to the idea that in this case I’m considered the “problem.” We don’t observe Christmas (though we are Christian), and don’t, of course, teach the kids about Santa. Now, I do tell my kids not to go around gratuitously saying that Santa’s a big fake, because I don’t have the intent to hurt other people. But when they are asked what Santa brought them, what are they supposed to say? Usually I just say that we are non-observant, but some adults and kids just keep pushing the Santa thing. And I will NEVER require that my kids deny their own beliefs and act as though THEY have something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, just because other parents are telling their kids that Santa is real. I am willing to be nonoffensive, but I won’t cower in shame, nor allow my children to, over the simple truth.
For the record, they also know that there’s no Easter Bunny or tooth fairy either.
You are not lying when you tell your children there is a Santa Claus.
I include my Christmas celebrations with tales of Santa Claus. We never really describe him because we have never seen him, (the whole must be asleep thing)
When my kids started asking me straight out “is Santa real?” I always responded “what do you think?” If they said they believed, we let it sit for another year.
As they got older the answer always changed to “No I don’t believe in Santa Claus”.
My response is as follows:
Well, I do believe there is a Santa Claus, and you are now old enough that I can tell you secret.
You see, I am Santa Claus…, But now YOU are Santa Claus also.
Santa Claus is in each of us to be shared in the way we feel is best.
As I am Santa Claus to you, you will be Santa to your children and to your younger relations.
You may now help with the selection of Santa’s Toys, and the setting up of Christmas for your younger brother. You see, being Santa Claus is a great joy and responsibility you may share in it as much as you wish.
The subject of “you lied to me about the Fat guy" never comes up. When you let a child know that they now carry the hope of a younger generation, they never feel bad because in truth you never lied to them.
Merry Christmas Happy New Year.
My parents never specifically told me there was (or wasn’t) a SC. I always knew it was a game, like the invisible friends I had. Fun, but imaginary. I played it the same way with my own kids and there was never a particular problem. They both claimed to believe in the tooth fairy for quite a while, but of course the money under the pillow might have been an incentive.
I used to play another game with them – the chewing gum fairy. Each had a drawer in the buffet that was her very own. Every so often, when she had been particularly well behaved, or done a good deed, a pack of chewing gum would magically appear in the drawer. “Must have been the gum fairy.”
My parents taught me Santa.
I loved it, in fact, I used to leave the cookies out for the reindeer, I thought they desreved them more.
Before I had my son, I knew a couple from church who said their daughters asked them “IS Santa really real like Jesus?”
So they told them no.
I felt I should;t lie to my son no matter what( sheildig them from something bad is another story).
So I always told my son those Santas are just guys dressed up and no imaginary being visited the house.
I never felt my parents lied about everything when I found out they lied about Santa; it was just a game we all played.
I knew they were wrong about certain things other than Santa anyway.
