Doper Parents: my son is a babbling brook. Help.

In My Humble Opinion
1

Our seven year old has inherited his grandfather gene’s. ( hubby’s too, but not as severe.) When this smart boy opens his mouth a tsunami of words babble out nonstop like someone pulled a string on his back.

I had an inkling that something like this might happen before we had kids, but I naively thought that I could teach him how to be a courteous talker.

Genetics are harder to break than a brick to the head.

He is so much like my FIL that I don’t know whether to laugh or shoot them both now and save the world from this menace.

What I am afraid of is him driving his friends away because of this constant stream of consciousness chatter. I mean CONSTANT.

He is a very good student and school with no problems with chattering during class. It has to be lunch and playtime that he uncorks.
He’s like Spongebob on Mountain Dew and Crack.
Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life listening to this?

Signed,

Deaf in one ear already

2

Ah, kids. We can’t wait for them to learn to talk, and then we can’t wait for them to shut up. :stuck_out_tongue:

My younger brother was a nonstop talker when he was in elementary school. Teachers complained that he wouldn’t stop yakking. The family learned to tune out the constant jibberjabber, as if it were background noise or elevator music. For reasons not known to me, my brother became quite taciturn in adolescence. Maybe the rush of testosterone turned him into the strong, silent type.

3

I will cling to the thought of him becoming ‘strong & silent’ type.

Ironically, my FIL older brother - 11 months older - barely says a word, but of his three kids ( two girls and one boy) the one girl is like my FIL. (I am pretty sure the rest of my FIL’s family - he is the youngest of 6 - don’t say nearly as much as he does.)

I cling to the hope he becomes like Uncle Dieter.

4

This bit actually made me laugh out loud. From what I’ve read of your posts, I was willing to bet that UjestSon was just like his mother. :smiley:
(I do mean that in a nice way - your posts always make me laugh. I picture you as one of those people who talks a lot, but in a good way. Not the annoying Janice-from-Friends type, more like the rambling, stream of consciousness, funny type.)

5

Wellllllllllll, I do go on…but I always make 'em laugh. At least that is my goal. The FIL’s goal, I feel certain, that if there is silence, he feels compelled to fill it up with words words words… Kinda like Donkey.
You have the right to remain silent, Donkey. What you lack is the capacity.

6

Yes. Here’s a lovely poem I wrote three years ago about my mom, who also talks non-stop.

7

elfkin477 is that white text on a white background or did it not load correctly?

8

I was very talkative as a child.

Now, I call my parents a lot less than Mr. Neville calls his.

I didn’t talk to them much as a teenager, either.

They actually left their phone number on my voice mail in college, because I hadn’t called them in so long.

It just goes to show, you never know.

9

Don’t have kids myself, but my sister says that that’s often a phase which kids go through. She says the nephew is 6 and chatters all day long.

Shooting the MIL in always a good idea.

10

It could be the ‘pressurized speech’ symptom of HADD. Have the guy checked out. While I do not like the idea of medicating everyone for everything, I wish I had been diagnosed as a child.

11

He’s probably fine, but FYI there are classes that train children how to have a polite conversation; they’re usually called “social pragmatics”. (AFAIK, “practical language” seems to usually refer to learning a foreign language.) Here is a link to a course for therapists that explains something about it.

12

Off to kiss the Blarney Stone…

13

It must not have loaded properly. It’s white text on a green background - which isn’t what I’d have picked these days. Maybe I’ll get around to editing that site again someday.

14

Shirley - Have you ever just tried to tell him to stop? “Son, you’re talking too much. When you talk non-stop, no one else can get a word in. People will start avoiding you as though you smell like a dead skunk. You need to try to pay attention to what you’re doing. and let other people have their turns, just like a game.” Maybe if you tell him about it now, he’ll train himself to be a socially acceptable conversationalist.

StG

15

Don’t worry, Shirley, in a few years your boy will be a sullen teenager and the last thing he’ll want to do is say three words in a row to his mother.

16

Ivygirl is like this. On and on and on about Missy doing this and Katrina doing that and Oh My God Todd was so mad at Lexi that Mrs. Foley had to get in the middle…

She has to have a running commentary wherever she goes. And if she isn’t talking, she’s singing.

I tune her out unless I know she’s actually trying to convey information to me. I’ve found some knowing nods and sympathetic “Mmm-hmms” help when she’s telling me about her day. Of course, I keep an ear out for anything that I might need to help her with, but for the most part she’s just chatty.

And Og help me, her friends are just like her.

17

Has that actually happened yet? Or is it just your fear that it could?

I think now might be a fine time to try to explain the very adult concept of ‘tact’ to your son. I did it to my daughter around the same time. She would just say what came into her head. ‘OOOh, look at that fat lady, mummy. Is she pregnant or just really fat?’
:eek:
So, very gently if you haven’t already, talk to him about how sometimes, it’s really important NOT to say things and sometimes it is. And that learning WHEN it’s not a good time and when it is a good time is called ‘TACT’…

I had plenty of occasions when I said to my daughter ‘Hey, sweetie, remember we talked about saying the right thing at the right time? Well now is a time to be quiet because it might hurt feelings if you continue…’ etc.
She got the hang pretty quickly.

Children are so insular and don’t generally think of anything beyond themselves so at this point, they will talk constantly. But introducing the thought of 'the right words at the right time and how that requires thought … will help him slow down.
You could give him theoretical situations to go through when you’re together to illustrate your point …
One of mine was to do with wheelchair users (I’m in a bit of the UK where there’s a spinal hospital, so there are loads of wheelchair users in town). Children are curious and want to ask, ‘why are you in a chair?’ but my explanation about tact was that some people would mind discussing it and that by far the more tactful thing to say would be (after a little thought) ‘hello’ or ‘How are you?’ or ‘Hey, I think your chair is kind of sporty’ (if the person looked approachable enough) or whatever … but my point was that the person using the wheelchair was still a person and would want a regular conversation.

So far, this has worked amazingly well.
However, last year we were in a store, and a lady wearing a t-shirt with a huge burn injury (old one) to her arms was next to us.
Without thinking, daughter said ‘What happened to your arms? How did you hurt them?’

Bless her, the woman said quite happily, ‘I burnt them years ago. But they’re fine now.’

Daughter replied ‘ouch that must have hurt’… so the lady answered ‘yes, it really hurt at the time, but I’m ok now and it doesn’t hurt any more. It’s just skin and I’m still the same on the inside.’

Sometimes you get a gem of a person like that but it’s rare I find.

Anyway, I’ve probably gone on far too long :smiley: but that’s how to slow down the stream of consciousness thing there.
It works.

When he’s a monosylabic teenager, you’ll crave the days where he talked non stop!!!

18

Chiming in to agree with those who promise peace and quiet in the teen years. My nephew is 14 and, when he was about 5, claimed “I have a headache from being such a chatterbox!” Now, I never hear a word from him, except for “Hi, Auntie” and that’s it.

19

Well, don’t bet your mortgage on this - I was kinda looking forward to the silence of sullen teenagers. No such luck. My 14-year-old is a nonstop noise machine and the 16 and 19 are only slightly better.

It’s so bad with the youngest that he’s asked others to remind him to shut up every now and then. It did help him during soccer season last year, though. He was designated to chatter at opponents and take them out of their game. His favorite thing to do was to scream “Polo” after anyone said “Mark up”

20

On the bright side, it’s only verbal incontinence. :wink: