Doper Women: Review My Personal Ad!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I really never thought I’d do this…

okay.

I’d value the opinion(s) of the SD Ladies of my admittedly unusual and somewhat “high-concept” ad that I’ve written up for Lavalife ®. I know it doesn’t look like the usual ad; but that’s exactly what I want–to stand out with a little quirkiness, and also (I hope) act as a bit of a filter. I can always follow-up with the more usual details in an email with any interested parties; I figure this is the “lure piece.”

Anyway, enough justification, I’ll let the damn thing speak for itself, and if any of you (and SDMB guys who would care to share their opinion!) want to kick it around:

2

I think it’s a terrific ad. Certainly if I was looking, I’d respond if only to say how much I loved the ad. I like to personality it conveys.

Of course, I’m 50 and married with child, so who knows how that colors my perception. But it did make me smile. :slight_smile:

3

Well, I’m out of your age range and on the wrong end of the continent – but hey, what the heck.

Rod Hill, how you doin’?

4

The only problem I see is the paragraph breaks.

For some reason, most of the online sites don’t allow paragraph breaks (they don’t tell you this, the software just removes them automatically and replaces them with single spaces.) and I don’t think your ad will work as one long block of text.

If lavalife allows it, though, go for it.

5

I’m not a woman, nor am I attracted to men, but that is a fine ad indeed.

The only change I would make to it is the “Perhaps he wants a date…it has been several years” comment. Make it something a little less specific, like “it has been some time.”

I’m thinking of advertising on lavalife, and I wish I had the gumption to put an ad like that on. Then again, seeing as apart from the “only child,” “never married,” and “35-39,” your ad describes me pretty well too. Can I take yours? :stuck_out_tongue: [sub]nah, jes’ kiddin’[/sub]

6

The only problem I see is “35–39.” That’s a bit exclusive, don’cha think? How about “late 30s-ish?”

7

Well, I don’t know if you do any activities (you know - walking, dancing, jogging, mountain climbing) - if so, you might want to include one in your list with your other likes and dislikes.

I fit your criteria, (except I’m not old enough) but I personally would like to see the activity that helped you lose your weight mentioned, assuming there is one.

However, maybe you got lipo so there is no activity - this is just one of my personal preferences.

8

I like your ad concept very much.

Things that I would be looking for if I were looking at ads:

age, how old are you? (btw, will disagree with Eve, people will already stretch your boundaries on age, if you don’t want to date anyone who is 40 or older, I’d put the cutoff at 38, as you’ll invariably get the I celebrated my third 39th birthday this year :rolleyes: )

activites you do participate in on a regular basis

I like the humorous approach, it’s definitely fresh. My experience with online ads is that you should err on the side of being specific about what you want, unless you want to go on a lot of dates that only approximate what you want.

9

Bravo! Very well done but then again, I’m an odd fish. I think it works and good luck!

10

OK, I’m w/in the age limits…not too far away…oooh, I love Oak Bay.
wink wink Howdy wink wink

11

Well, thanks! I’m relieved–I think I’m on the right track. I looked over a lot of the male ads, and so many seemed full of braggadocio, or were from people so busy bungee jumping, nude skydiving and “X-treme sportage LOL!!!” that I thought a more subtle approach might be in order (besides, that’s just who I am; I’d rather hit a museum or an antique or book store than rollerblade; golf or take a brisk walk in the country than watch sports on TV.

Actually, amarinth, to my surprise, Lavalump does allow para breaks; I have already submitted this ad (but have my whole profile “hidden”). Only I can access it, to edit, add photos, etc. I wasn’t going to “rollout” until I get a couple of photos to put up (I want to lose that last 10 pounds!), and besides, what kind of madman would go wookin pa nub just before Christmas/New Year’s? I’m waiting till the Festivus season is well past!

Eve, yeah, I thought may be too specific on the age thing; but a couple of friends (female) suggested that I should be fairly pinpoint. I’m 42 myself (“a young 42, he quickly added–too quickly, perhaps”), and while I don’t plan on kids, I suppose that I don’t want to entirely rule out that possibility…

Activities is a good point, alice: all that guff is addressed in Lavaloop’s boilerplate, which appears below my writeup (which gives only a preset number of things to choose from, however. Nude bobsledding, Xtreme flowerarranging, that sort of thing.

No lipo for me, by the way. Lost 125 pounds since mid-February of this year, by a mix of poor old Dr. Atkins and power walking (almost forced marching, really). Worked damn hard, if I do say. Proudest moment: fitting into my graduation present from 1980: a harris tweed jacket my late father bought for me, and I haven’t worn since about 1988.

12

Good for you on the weight loss!

If your activities are listed elsewhere, then I think you ad is spot on.

13

I’m a guy, but if you’re interested in my 2-cents, I think you’re on the right track. I tried the online thing, and got little-to-no responses. Then I figured out that my profile looked just like everyone elses. I made some changes to make it stand out a bit, and promptly got some emails. Give it a shot.

Congratulations on the weight loss too. That’s great.

Good luck.

14

As a guy who sometimes looks to personals to meet other guys, if I saw that ad out there my initial reaction would be that you’re trying too hard to be quirky. It smacks of effort. I also find the age range to be a bit narrow. FWIW, but seeing as how my own personal ads tend to attract freaks and losers, I far be it from me to pass judgement.

15

I like it. Personal ads seem to all say the same thing. It’ll be a nice change from the usual. Good luck.

16

D’you think, Otto? I don’t want it to come across a laboured, certainly. But then again, I am intending it as a screen, or filter of sorts…I think I will take Duke’s editorial advice, and change “it has been several years” to “it has been some time.” That should ratchet down the pathos a peg or two.

On the age thing, I’m actually not going to exclude anyone really interesting who may be a couple of years over/under the ages I listed; but I thought that if I didn’t keep to a fairly tight bracket in the ad itself (as advised by some wise women friends), we’d be all over the shop in no time, as I am given to understand that not everyone is as upfront as I am with the biographical details!

17

It needs more boobs

18

I’d be all over it if I were single, in your age range and looking. But I’m also a huge Ian Fleming fan so that probably colours my perception. I always found the trying-too-hard-quirky personals way more fun and interesting than the others, though. Even when they were over-the-top. Not that I think you’re trying too hard, but it certainly is distinctive!