The more people I see throw themselves into (theoretically) lifelong monogamy, the more convinced I am that it’s just plain dumb.
You’re in love? Fine. Be in love. Have the romantic candlelight dinners. Have the afternoon walks on the beach. Have the long, meaningful discussions. Heck, have sex. C’mon, this isn’t friggin’ Saudi Arabia. Buy a pack of condoms and do it.
You want acceptance? From who, your parents? Snooty co-workers? Rush Limbaugh? You should know by now that there’s no pleasing those cretins. And what exactly have they done for you lately? You’re going to have to tell them to take a long walk on a short flower path at some point; the sooner you get it over with, the better.
You’re a Christian? Well, if you haven’t noticed, you’re in America, where that translates to “right-wing, mainstream, doesn’t like to help others, wants to get rich, pro-military”. Not monogamous. Yes, Christians believe in holy matrimony. That means that if you’re not living a holy, pure, divine, pure, clean virtuous, sacred, pure, angelic, pure, pure, pure life, you have absolutely no effin’ business tying the knot. That goes for BOTH members; God doesn’t go for halfway measures. It’s in the Bible. Look it up.
You’re in it for the money/sex? Okay, golddigging 101: 1. The guy has to be rich, and 2. the guy has to be near death (i.e. old). Otherwise it’s not going to work. Even if you divorce him and get half of what he pulled in during the marriage, well, half of a hill of beans is a somewhat smaller hill of beans. As for completely legal sex with a minor…dude, you do realize that 1. she’s going to get older, and 2. she’s going to want you to contribute something to the relationship? Yeah, women don’t go for worthless sex-obsessed parasites. They’re weird like that.
Eh. They’ll be separated soon enough. Yeah, it’s sad that they’re going to drive each other nuts in the coming months, but some people just gotta learn the hard way. Having dealt with a lot of people like that, I gotta say that it beats the alternative.
P.S.: “Will never do porn?” Okay, unless she’s secretly hiding proof of the Unified Field Theory, limiting her options sounds like a straight very bad idea. I’m thinking she’ll change her tune somewhat once her, a ha, country music career is over.