Isn't Miley Cyrus like, 37 years old?

I noted something on CNN that cited Miley Cyrus’s age as 16.

Honestly, I swear to Christ, that kid has been on TV since 1983, hasn’t she? She can’t be 16, she’s been on TV since it was black and white. Hasn’t “Hannah Montana” been on longer than “The Simpsons”?

If, prior to reading the article, you had asked me “Hey, take a guess at how old Miley Cyrus is” I’d have guessed, in all seriousness, 20 or 21. She’s been around FOREVER - or, at least, it feels that way. I know they overexpose kid stars but it can’t be a good sign that Miley Cyrus is 16 years old and I feel like she’s been around longer than Mickey Rooney.

She’s been on TV since the 50s, and will be on till the sun burns out. She’s generic product that never goes away. She will always be 16.

I’d like to order one of those. How much are they?

A dime a dozen.

Wiki has her born Nov. 23 1992, and H.M starting 4/06.

That just gives us a few years before the career-desperate spread in Playboy.

Oh, sorry, forgot I was in the Pit.

My daughter’s a fan, and the 3-D movie had excellent effects.

She just released a 200-something page autobiography. (Yes, I’ve read it for some reason, and yes, I know it was ghostwritten.) In her three years of fame, she has had enough experiences to fill a 200-something page autobiography. Of course, most of those experiences have to do with being an actress and stuff about her family, but I can think of very few actresses- young or old- who have packed so much fame and accomplishments into three years as Miley Cyrus has. Obviously, she is an alien (MILEY standing for Measuring Intelligence and Love of Earthling Youth) who was sent to the future to bring a message to the children of today. And what is that message? I think it is “give up your dreams of fame and stardom, because you will never achieve what I have.” (Of course, she says the exact opposite thing in the book, but she’s just waiting to drop her true wisdom on the kids of the world when they’re ready for it…much later, when both she and Billy Ray, alias Cyrus One, have gone back into obscurity, and Cyrus Three- or possibly Cyrus Four or Five- make their way into Earth’s hearts.)

Sent from the future, of course, not to the future. Of course, given Disney’s marketing acumen, I have no doubt that some of their stars actually come from the past and have been sent into the future to judge reaction of the youth of today. I mean, a man named Kelly Blatz? Seriously? KellyBlatz? Obviously came from a time in the past when it was okay to name men with woman names. And have the last name “Blatz.”

According to the folks on 4chan nudes are already out. Apparently there’s some leaked ones from a boyfriend or something.

They also suggest I put Ben-Gay on my balls, and that Linetrap is a hot chick I should fap too. So who knows?

Sacrifice in March, corn have plenty starch…

I had the same wondering about Dakota Fanning. She should be like 46 years old now.

Dakota Fanning is an older woman inside a young girl’s body. We’ve known she’s smarter than the average kid star for quite a while, but she recently stepped out of her cocoon. Seriously, have you seen pictures of her lately? She does not look like a kid!

No you guys are thinking of Indiana Jones.

After that last film, Indiana Jones is dead to me.

It’s like the Olsen twins. All those started-acting-as-a-zygote types really get tiresome after a while.

If she’s lucky. I’ve tried for years to get a spot in Playgirl’s “Men of Desperation” issue, only to be turned down repeatedly. And not to brag, but I’m blessed with above-average desperation.

All men say that…its never true though. You don’t know how disappointing it is when you are expecting an above average desperation and then discover its tiny…

Those Dick Clark anti-aging pills work wonders, don’t they? Available under the counter at your nearby Hollywood pharmacy.

She is starting to get that cokehead rasp, I’ve noticed.