Let’s see…15 years old. Rich, country music star daddy whose big success began before her birth, so we may safely infer she has no difficulty getting a contract.
I offically hate everyone.
Well, not my wife and nieces and sisters. But everybody else.
Oh my god. It’s going to be about five pages long and double-spaced. Because she’s fifteen.
What a wittle cutey pa-tooty
Are her parents addicted to anything? Booze, pills? A survivor story from showbiz kids are always fun.
Does publishing your MySpace page in hard copy really qualify as “writing a memoir”?
Zing!
( Sadly, in today’s world, it does.)
Will there be doodles in the margins?
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Eh, gotta strike while the iron is hot. She nuclear hot right now, and could probably sell a recording of her reading the phone book.
In 5-7 years, she’ll be yesterday’s news and a memoir wouldn’t see the light of day. At least from what I’ve seen she and her parents have it together enough that she likely won’t end up like Britney, et al.
I picture the front cover being a picture of the front of her spiral notebook, with her signing her pretend married name over and over to see how it looks.
Woo. Then you haven’t been paying attention. That girl’s a Lohan-in-training…she’s already putting the feelers out for Vanessa Hudgens slutty self-pictures, the last batch trickling out this past weekend. Thank God she’s at least keeping the clothes on now.
and every lower case i and j will be dotted with little hearts
if every there was a need for the puking smiley
That’s for a book covering about 13 years, too, because you figure she can’t remember much of anything before age 2. She was famous by about 12, right? I guess the first half of the book will be about her long, difficult climb to the top in elementary school.
Billy Ray Cyrus was a has-been by the time Hannah Montana was two years old.
In the years before his daughter’s big break, he acted in bit parts in movies and a low-rent cable show. He also put out a bunch of albums that barely sold anything. (at least, so says Wikipedia)
Somehow I just can’t see a bunch of producers sitting around saying “Let’s give a show to Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter, everyone loves Billy Ray Cyrus!”
Yeah, I’d heard about those. I thought they were a look-alikes? I must admit though, I didin’t go Googling for nudie pix of a 15 year old. Seems a bad idea, esp from a work computer.
At any rate, her memoir will be bought by and for a bunch of 8-12 year olds, who will move on to the next hot thing in a year or two.
Apparently they were pictures of Milley and a friend at a sleepover wrestling.
http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2007-12-31#celeb3
Naturally, a bunch of Helen Lovejoys jumped to conclusions and started jabbering about the picture’s inappropriate lesbian overtones. Nothing like the smell of homophobia in the morning.
So what, this isn’t meant for us, it’s meant for her fans who are generally tween grils.
“Writing” should probably be in quotation marks- before the project was officially announced, OK! magazine reported that Disney was searching for a ghostwriter to pen the tome.
Miley wasn’t hand-chosen for her role- she had to audition for it…and so did her father. (Note that the character was originally supposed to be named “Zoe”- the name was changed to Miley’s own after a certain Nickelodeon series premiered.)
As for the pictures- both the current batch and the past ones- none of them are actually that scandalous. People keep trying to pin scandals on her, but since she’s so darn squeaky-clean, they just rub off- either by themselves or with her and her father helping to apologize.
Possible opening lines for the book:
“It was the best of both worlds, it was the worst of both worlds.”
“Today it seems to me providential that Destiny should have chosen Tennessee as my birthplace. Metaphorically speaking, of course- my real name is Destiny, but I’m not talking about myself, I’m talking about Destiny in an allegorical sense.”
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. But since that’s what they’re paying me to write for [del]Miley[/del] you, I guess I have to tell you.”
“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of tumbleweeds which swept up the streets (for it is in Tennessee that our scene lies), rattling along the farmland, and fiercely agitating the achy-breaky hearts of the citizens that struggled against the darkness.”
"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘don’t tell their hearts, their achy, breaky hearts. I just don’t think they’d understand.’"
Sweet Niblets!
errr, I mean Jesus Fucking H Christ!
ya, that’s what I ment to say.
“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Country Western charts of Billboard lies some small unregarded white trash.”
“Call me Destiny. Wait, no, call me Miley. Strike that. Call me Hannah. Oh screw it - just call me rich.”