Heh…yinz didn’t expect me to not reply to this thread, did yinz?
I love, love, love, love giving oral. Love it. Can’t imagine not loving it. For all the reasons already given…power, taste, sensation, and the little spot in my ego that gets all warm and fuzzy when I can send a guy into shuddering convulsions…mmmmmm…
Oh, gosh…it’s four more days until the weekend, isn’t it? sigh
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Chalk me up as another vote for, “A chore? Are you NUTS?” (“Well, if you are what you eat…heh heh heh”)
Anyhow…
I think receiving cunnilingus is nice and everything…I mean, it feels good…but I’ve only gotten off from it twice in my life (thank you, Tark!!) so it’s never urgent for me to receive it. However…I love giving head. Ever since I was a relatively innocent girl of 17 and gave my first real boyfriend his first blowjob, I have enjoyed the hell out of it.
I hate the “I’ll only go down on him if he’ll give me head back” or “Well, if I have to” mindset. If you don’t want to, then don’t freaking do it. If you do want to, then throw yourself into it like the proverbial “cross-between-a-Jewish-American-Princess-and-a-Taiwanese-Whore”…who can “suck the numbers off a credit card.” This half-assed “Only for sigh YOU, honey” horseshit gives those of us who actually take PRIDE in our work a bad name.
Like I said, though, if you don’t want to…fucking DON’T. Shit, how hard is that?
“But honey, I reaaaaaaaaally want it.”
“But honey, I reaaaaaaaaally don’t want to. And if I reaaaaaaaaaally don’t want to, I might accidentally scrape my teeth along it in frustration.” Unless you’re dating a masochist, this will be a deal-breaker. If he IS a masochist, you can say “no” anyhow…“What’s the difference between a sadist and a masochist?” “A masochist says, ‘Hurt me!’ A sadist replies, ‘No.’”
(someone knows too many jokes.)
(I’m Jewish, so shaddup about whatever bugfuck “how prejudiced” flim-flam you were thinking of shouting at me.)
Ok, ok, I have a question here. Maybe it deserves a new thread but I’m lazy and I know ppl are reading this one.
Are teeth really a problem? The reason I ask is my fiance ASKS me to nibble, not chomp, but nibble, and says he likes it (or he’s faking it pretty damn well). He’s ‘cut’ so maybe less sensitivity is the reason.
Er… you may wanna check that number… I got asked for an “NCI card number” whatever that is. When I asked for the Lickahoy thing, I was met with confusion.
thinksnow: Thank you for bringing up the most disturbing part of Jarbaby’s OP. Not liking oral is small potatoes compared to what these women are actually doing.
They are LYING to their future husbands about themselves! They are pretending to be something they are not, knowing they will change after the marriage. They are playing a part in a little, twisted, movie in an effort to land a man. It’s disgusting, I don’t even know how to properly convey my feelings.
This type of thing makes me wonder if I can ever trust a woman enough to marry her.
It’s OK for a woman not to like giving head. Many do, many don’t. Either way is fine, so long as you’re honest about it.
But this has a simple name.
Bait-and-switch.
It’s where you advertise one thing, and then it turns out you’re selling something else entirely.
There are laws against it, but unfortunately they don’t apply to marriage. But that doesn’t mean it’s any less unethical there.
If you’re not going to be who you really are with the person you’re going to spend your life with, then what’s the point? If the primary relationship that the rest of your life is going to be built around rests on a foundation of deception, then your whole fucking life is a lie.
I just can’t believe those women. If they don’t want to give blowjobs, fine. But if that’s the way they feel, then the time to not give them started whenever it was that they realized they didn’t want to give them, rather than using them as a supposed foretaste of married life that will in fact not be part of the package.
Only if you use them and your SO would rather you didn’t.
Neither myself nor my SO are fond of the ‘pain’ thing…and though she really tries to avoid using her teeth, the simple fact is that her mouth just isn’t very big.
[sub]Odd, for a redhead.[/sub]
Anyway: though she’s extremely eager to please, she tends to take even well-cushioned constructive criticism as a sign of failure on her part. I don’t really know how to approach the subject without hurting her feelings.
Get him greased up with a water-based lube (or Vaseline, if you don’t mean to stick anything else up there; it dissolves latex). When you’re in the middle of blowing him, slowly prod into him with your finger (keep those nails short, dammit! I speak from unhappy experience). Once you’re inside, prod around (gently!) until you find a firm mound on the forward wall of his rectum. That’ll be his prostate. Massage it with your finger; it’ll make a good thing even better. I recently tried this with great gusto with a very sweet Venezuelan of my acquaintance and he went absolutely bananas.
If your man totally objects to the Sex Hint You Got From A Gay Guy, then try just greasing up and massaging his asshole with your finger. It’s quite erogenous itself.
I love eating girls out. I get off on it. My record (and I’m damn proud of this) was to go down on a girlfriend for about an hour and a half straight, causing her to cum 27 times (I counted). And I’m always looking to break that record. Any takers?
Little Jenny had some questions for her mom.
Jenny: "Mommy, when I walked in on you and daddy last week, what were you doing?
Mom: “It’s called having sex, dear. That’s where babies come from.”
Jenny: “Oh. Well, last night, when you were kissing daddy’s private parts, what was that?”
Mom: “That’s where jewelry comes from.”
An old GF and I celebrated our first “night together” by me playfully lapping and licking for four and a half hours. Later, when it became apparent that the relationship had other problems, I spent three years trying to break up.
Women are like ceramic tile – lay them right the first time…
My record is 17 in a single session, about 2 1/2 hours. I’ve gotten better over the years, as a perfectionist, and now Moxmaiden can only handle about two or three before she’s climbing the walls and literally fighting to keep me away from her(I have bruises!). Really disappointing, I’d like to break my record. Right now I’m going for long ones instead of lots of little ones. I’m up to about a minute and a half of stiff-as-a-board-open-mouth-silent-screaming-clawing-the-bed/floor/sofa/desk/table/counter/chair/whatever. I plan to break the two minute mark. Harder than it sounds when she’s got her thighs clamped down on your head and is squirming away from you.