Some years back, about 13 years ago, there was a period where I drank too much. Probably a lot too much. Something like five drinks a day, just about every day. Never at inappropriate times, always in the evening, either in a pub with friends (and all my friends drank at least that much, or more. I think I was the lightweight in that group) or at home if I wasn’t going out that night. That period probably lasted about three years. Was I an alcoholic? I don’t know. I know that if there were days when alchohol wasn’t available, that didn’t bother me. If there was alcohol around, I would drink it, but if there wasn’t, no problem. And if I was under the weather, feeling sick, I didn’t have any desire for a drink. So was I an addict? I really don’t know.
I don’t do that any more. My desire to drink that much seems to have completely evaporated. I love a cold beer on a hot day, and on weekends I’ll have a drink before dinner, and wine or beer with dinner, and then not have another drink of anything alcoholic until the next weekend, and always in an appropriate setting. I don’t think I could stand to have five drinks in one evening.
Why the change? I’m still not sure. When I started drinking that much, some bad things had happened in my life, and I was transitioning into a new life. Maybe that’s it. I wonder, though, because I only feel like having a drink when I’m happy. It’s not when I’m down or depressed. So that might not be it. Or maybe there was something chemical. Who knows.
But if the desire hadn’t gone away, if I hadn’t reverted to normal (OK, “normal”) drinking habits, well, I don’t know where I’d be now. I know people who drink that much, and more, all the time. Some are perfectly functional, and go to work every day, and have relationships and so on. And some are in the process of destroying their lives.
As to AA, I can think of at least one person for whom it’s worked. She turned a train wreck into a great life. And I can think of another for whom AA has become her whole life. She was a drinker, although not, as far as I and the rest of her social circle could tell, a heavy drinker, and she decided that she was an alcoholic. So she joined AA, and now she can’t (and hasn’t been able to for about twenty years) so much as decide what to wear in the morning without consulting the group. She goes to meetings nearly every day. She used to go to more than one meeting a day. Maybe she still does – I don’t see her as much as I used to, because AA has more or less replaced her circle of friends. It’s hard for me to see how AA has been good for her. It may have been good for to stop drinking, but might there have been a better way for her?
So for those in this thread who say that the problem with AA is its one-size-fits-all approach, I think that’s true. I’ve seen it do great things. And I’ve seen it do not-so-great things, too.
I don’t know. I’m glad I came out that period in my life without a problem, that’s all I can say. And for anyone struggling or wondering if they have a problem, by all means try to stop. If you can’t, if you can’t go a day or two without a drink, yes, you probably do have a problem. Do something about it.