Drivers: Rant and Creative Way to Get Back...

The BBQ Pit
1

I’M MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANY MORE! :mad:

Today, coming home, yet another driver pulled out right in front of me! I can’t take it any more. OK, so I ride a motorcycle :eek: . I do watch out for the other guy, but good grief! it’s a BMW K100 with a headlight so big and strong I could rent it out as a tanning salon. This geezer simply wasn’t watching. :smack:

Two hours later and I’m still smouldering.

BUT, I also confronted him. I put the bike down on the side stand, walked up to the car, waited until he rolled down the window, and in a stern voice said “If you can’t see where you’re going, don’t drive.”

Not very snappy.

So, I started thinking of what I could do. This was my fantasy:

[ol]
[li]Carry a paintball pistol. Loaded.[/li][li]Next time someone pulls out in front of me, wave them over.[/li][li]Point the pistol at them, and demand they get out of the car.[/li][li]In my best freaked-out cop voice, start yelling “Pull down your pants! NOW! Do it!”[/li][li]When they have them down, whip out my stickers and plaster one right on their butt cheek.[/li][li]Sticker says “Warning: Asshole on wrong end.”[/li][li]Drive away.[/li][/ol]

Granted, I’d have to be careful not to unnecessarily antagonize people that might not respond to it well, like guys driving around in pickups with shotguns mounted in the rear window. :rolleyes: But heck, it’s usually not them anyway. In fact, my recent luck has been to encounter various males and females whose stay in the country is not commeasurite with their apparent age. To quote Groucho: “That’s my argument: restrict immigration.”

Yeah, it’s not P.C. If you haven’t noticed, none of this is P.C. But it’s either correctness or my blood pressure!

2

Agreed,

Recently left the Harley shop with my '06 Night Train. Couldn’t even make my first trip home a relaxing one. A young lady was waiting at an intersection, we made eye contact, then she went for it. I was about 50 feet away and accelerating to 35 MPH. Since my bike has a loud horn, I followed her for about 20 blocks with my finger jammed on the switch, you know, just in case she still couldn’t see me.

If you pull out in front of me and we wreck, pray that you kill me.

3

Euthanasia is another remedy! :stuck_out_tongue:

4

Many years ago, I helped the gentleman I was dating bring home a cannon he’d just bought. We loaded it in the back of a friend’s pickup truck and drove home, making the day of a 10 year old boy when we pulled up alongside his dad’s car at a stop light. That evening, I learned a marvelous lesson: No one tailgates you when you’re carrying a cannon!

Unfortunately that’s not very practical these days. :frowning:

CJ

5

Wearing a full face helmet with a mirrored shield and having shiny chrome strips across the knuckles I’ve seen my friend scare the bejesus out of people by tapping on their window at a stoplight after they tried to kill one of us.

My friends have told the tale of this tall dude on a Triump Tiger who can almost see over the tops of pick up trucks. He is high enough that kicking out a taillight is pretty easy. I don’t know who he is they tell this story of. :smiley:

I once rode with a friend of a friend who showed us the pocket full of ball bearings that when tossed gently over the shoulder will make a big ping when it hits the car behind him. I almost called bullshit on it but didn’t know the guy well enough and didn’t want to embarass our mutual friend.

mumble mumble 5 every five years everybody should have to retake their drivers liscense exams and road tests mumble mumble

6

Riding a motorcycle on the street is an inherently dangerous activity. A good bit of that danger comes from careless, inattentive drivers. A smaller amount comes from actively malevolent ones. That is why I gave up on street riding afte 15 years and several bikes. It wasn’t so much fun that it was worth the risk of getting maimed or killed.
That said, macho displays like pounding on windows or kicking out tail lights seems like a good way to get your ass shot or run over.

7

I agree if you’re indiscriminate! I noted in my rant that I would only take revenge if I thought I could get away with it.

Besides, my idea is not to elicit plans for actual revenge. I grew up in the 60s, man; I’m a pacifist! :rolleyes: But what if, what if you could get away with firing a paintball at any driver that pissed you off? A paintball of indelible ink? Wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t we soon be able to spot the drivers we should stay away from?

What if I could get a date with Melissa Dettwiller? C’mon, let me daydream! :smiley:

8

I’ve heard about this before and I just don’t get it. It’s not even hard to see motorcyclists. If you’re looking for cross traffic at all, you should see motorcyclists (as well as bicyclists, stuff on the road, and so forth.) I’ve never been on a motorcycle, so I can’t say what it’s like on that end, but it scares me that so many people in cars are apparently so grossly incompetent.

9

I dunno. How cool would it be if I could take a crowbar and pound dents in the fuel tank of every asshole motorcyclist who cuts me off at a hi-way exit? Or passes me on the ramp? Or on the stripe between lanes?

These behaviors are far more assholish than someone accidentally pulling out in front of a motorcyclist; they require deliberate idiocy.

Great. Gonna terrorize a bunch of grammas and grampas. What fun.

10

Most dangerous thing to a crotch rocket is an under 30 male.

The most dangerous thing to a cruiser is a left turning cage. Second is a pull-out cage ( why I’m disabled now )

Most cage drivers look but do not see. A car, truck or buss is expected in their driving world and are considered dangerous. A 2 wheeled conveyance is not expected, not dangerous and therefore even though they look and the eye sees, their brain disregards the 2 wheeler and here they come. Eye contact is not enogh…

Next is those that actively try to harm or harass 2 wheel vehicles…

11

Contrawise, there are riders… they split lanes at 70 while the road’s going 35. They zip in and out at clearances of half an inch. Then the car in front of them brakes.

Sometimes I pull in front of one, good clearance, and they act like I cut them.

Sometimes they want to race… and they’re sore losers when they find out I’m faster and have better traction than they do. (I do love my car)

Sometimes they blow stopsigns, or stop lights. Sometimes they cut on the sidewalk side and find what the breakdown lane is for… when they find the car in it.

And sometimes, they’re just sucky riders.

Whadda gonna do?

12

Anecdotal evidence only, but my cousin does the ball bearing thing.

13

Aye, that scares the living bajeezus out of me every.single.time. I’ll be in LA, on the freeway, stuck in traffic and ZOOM! I screech. It’s bad.

Not to mention the fact that I may be going along at 50 mph and have to suddenly stop. But I can’t just screech into the car in front of me, I have to turn my car to the side of the lane. I sorta can’t if your damn cycle is there. Well, I will, but your cycle ain’t gunna be there for long.

Why is it legal (in CA at least) for cyclists to split lanes? It doesnt seem safe for anyone involved.

14

From a GQ thread on lanesplitting.

Our motorcycle is liquid cooled but we lanesplit anyways :stuck_out_tongue: .

15

Same here. I pay WAY more attention to motorcycles than to cars - they make different noises, they’re shaped differently, they move differently, there aren’t nearly as many of them… I can’t fathom why none of these things would catch people’s attention when a motorcycle’s going by. And that’s not even taking into account my nervousness about accidentally crushing them, either.

16

Your cousin is a malicious asshole.

17

Who’s going to end up lying by the roadside, beaten senseless, someday.

18

I agree and have it happen to me once. I think there must be a good percentage of drivers that are not being jerks on purpose. There is some sort of conformation bias or road hypnosis in effect here.

I’m a very careful driver but almost turned out into a motorcycle once because I did not see him. We avoided a wreck but the look on that guys face and my fear at the moment has kept me from wanting a bike.

If it could happen to me (look but don’t’ see) with all the crazy drivers I see on the road I figure motorcycles must be dodging cars all day long just trying to stay upright.

One of the funniest things I’ve seen on this topic is when a car cut off a biker and they guy rolled up to the drivers window of the car and started tapping on the glass with one of his big skull rings. The biker was a very serious “biker looking biker” not somebody you would want to rile up. In the car you could tell the wife was telling everybody to look straight ahead, don’t move, etc. they had the husband, wife and kids looking straight forward not even flinching while the guy was steady tap,tap,tap,tap,tap…for as long as the light was red. I seriously doubt the guy would have done more than yell at the driver but he did have the look that the wife and kids may be loosing their Dad that day. :eek: They looked so freaked out …we laughed ourselves silly watching it.

It was a powerful display of intimidation that I’m sure had an effect. Even if the wife is doing the extra looking now I bet that car is more careful.

19

This tells us everything that we need to know. It’s obvious that you’re the asshole, not the drivers around you.

:wink:

cf’75

20

Soooooo pissed at the roomie this morning…my bro drives a YZF-R6 everywhere ‘round Southern California – it gets him to his multiple, far-apart job sites on time. This morning on the news, the unbiquitous news chopper was showing paramedics furiously working on a biker that had somehow managed to fall or drive off an overpass onto the street below, at least a 20’ drop. I made a comment about worrying every time my bro took his bike out on the road, hoping that he was in a clear and reactive state of mind every time he drove, and that the “assholes” wouldn’t try to school him in their opinion of lane splitting. My roomie’s comment?

So basically, this person I live with advocates other drivers cutting off or potentially killing my brother, who legally lane-splits at safe speeds, simply because he believes that he’s within his rights to impose HIS moral beliefs on other people despite the law! Hell, he probably practices this himself, but I didn’t stick around to ask.

FUCKING PRICK!!!
:mad: :mad: :mad: