First time they find one of mommy’s toys and carry it around the house, inevitably when conservative company is over.
The first time you drive all the way back somewhere to retrieve a favorite lovey.
The first time you call in “sick” to work so you can enjoy a day at home ALONE while your child is at daycare.
First time they find “down there”
First time they see a person with an unfamiliar trait in public, and LOUDLY point it out.
How about “you know you are a parent when …”
You catch vomit. “Not on the couch!”
Discussing your child’s poop is fine conversation at a nice restaurant on date night.
First time Mom/Dad drops their phone on Baby’s head.
First time Mom/Dad gives Baby the phone to appease him/her.
First time Baby gropes another woman’s chest.
First time they pull a gun on you.
First time they realise farts are funny.
First time your kid corrects you and the little fucker is right.
First time your kid corrects you, is right and you admit it.
First time your kid gives you instructions while you help them do something.
That’s before birth.