I remember reading as a kid about lots of dumb laws “still being on the books” in American States and towns. Most of them were small town ordiances along the lines of “In Crudtown, OH, barbers are not allowed to eat onions between 8am and 8pm”, “In Stinkwater, GA, people over the age of 88 cannot ride motorcycles” and “It is illegal for men in Purulence, FL, to wear strapless dresses”. Are these laws actually there, or just apocrypha?
Many are real. Sometimes there was a reason for their creation, but they’re never enforced, and there’s no reason to repeal them. Go check 'em out.
A man who is stopped from riding a motorcycle because he is 88 could easily claim discrimination on the basis of age. I appreciate your link to the site, I’m just not sure I believe a lot of the stuff there. Oral sex illegal in Florida?
Uh oh… I had best not go back there…
Actually, that’s a pretty common one; it’s illegal in a lot of states to have any style of sex other than missionary style.
I seem to remember some years ago they were trying to pass a law in Arizona making it illegal to own more than five dildos. I have this image in my mind of the dildo police going door to door. “Excuse me, ma’am, is that a sixth dildo I see there? You’re going to have to come with me to the station.”
Yep. It’s also considered an offense to shower naked.
You can find more dumb Florida laws here.
Being from Arizona, Ive gone through all of the laws listed under DumbLaws for my state and this struck me as funny. Its illegal to have more than two dildos in your house in the state of Arizona(Uh oh sheepish grin)… and in the county of Maricopa (which is in AZ), its illegal for more than 6 women to reside in one home.
I dont want to be the stingy one here, but I am -not- sharing my dildo with 3 other girls… They can just hang me in Town Square.
FWIW, most of the English “dumb laws” on the Dumb Laws site are either wrong or deliberately misrepresented so as to appear ridiculous when in fact they are not.
To address the question in the OP (“Are these laws actually there, or just apocrypha?”), I suspect the answer is that they are mostly just apocrypha.
An example of the sort of thing that you often see in these laws: “In [insert town name here], it is illegal to tie an alligator to a fire hydrant”, whereas in actuality, the law in question makes it illegal to tie any animal to a hydrant. Alligators are animals, so they’re illegal, too, but the lawmakers were probably thinking more of dogs or horses.
By the way, malkavia, I think that that has to be the funniest thing I’ve read all week. Don’t be surprised if anyone asks you for permission to use that in a sig 
TomH pointed out that most of the English laws on the dumb laws site are wrong. Well, many of the Ohio ones are too. Most of the dumb laws state in Ohio were gotten rid of about 20 years ago when Ohio completly revamped the revised code. And the Ohio drivers education manual does not state that you must honk your horn when passing another car. It is in fact against state law to honk your (while driving at least)horn except in certain situations, of which passing isn’t listed. At least one law was never on the books in the state (the patent leather shoes) it was a repealed Cleveland law. And is it really such a stupid law to make dueling illegal?
I don’t know about most of the city laws but the one about the shoes in Cleveland was repealed and the one about the roller skating in North Canton is partially wrong. There are certain areas of North Canton (and for that matter Akron, where I live) where you a cannot roller skate (or skateboard) without the permission of the owner. And in the case of North Canton (and Akron) the city doesn’t want people doing it on some of their property–like the courthouse and such. In Akron, you cannot roller skate or skateboard on a certain streach of Main Street, and it’s sidewalks, even with the property owners permission. These laws were put created because there was a problem with kids doing this up and down Main Street with a gross disreguard for anyone else in their path. This is not a dumb law.
It’s common to have laws limiting the number of unrelated persons who can live together. Many people would not want a house full of 20 year old co-eds in their neighborhood.
I am not one of these people. In fact if 6 co-eds are looking for a place to stay…
Maybe I shouldn’t say this, because, well, you never know who’s going to read it…
In the dumb laws for Oregon, it says you need a license to juggle in Hood River, OR. Well, I was stupid. I never thought to see if I needed a license. I just went ahead and juggled. In fact, Hood River is where I learned to juggle. And I juggled a lot. For a while there, I juggled at every opportunity. And always within the city limits of Hood River. I admit it, I’m a scofflaw of the first water!
There, I’m glad to get that off my chest. It’s been preying on my mind for years. Now I’ll just sit here quietly until Hood River’s finest break down my door and haul me away to durance vile…
Last year in northern Michigan, maybe the UP I don’t remember, a man was convicted of swearing in front of woman and children after he fell out of his canoe. Boggeled the mind to see that man go to trial over something so silly.
This may be my favourite one:
Next time that I am in Toronto for a few days I’ll be dragging a dead horse down Yonge on a Saturday.
"But officer, there is no law against doing this on a Saturday!
I always thought these laws were put on the book mosly as a way to prevent Brothels, or at least have something over their heads when the local sherrif went to extort his bribe.
Yep. Laws like these were written as a preventative measure against whorehouses. Saves having to try to catch them in the act. BTW, the laws usually specify “more than X number of unrelated women” as being illegal. Sometimes you’ll hear about college towns trying to use these laws to shut down sorority houses.
Damn! Should have said that I find the claim “oral sex in Florida is illegal” hard to swallow. Hilarity ensues.
In the spirit of Dave Barry, I would like to point out that “The Dildo Police” would be an outstanding name for a rock band, as would “Oral Sex in Florida.”
A bunch of states have sodomy laws…and in a lot of those states, sodomy is defined as oral or anal sex.