As a confirmed Lord Of The Rings Nerd™, I could lapse into a discussion about how great Gandalf is, using all kinds of weird words that nobody could understand (except other confirmed Lord Of The Rings Nerds™, who don’t need me to convince them). But I won’t, because I’m just such a nice guy.
But let’s compare their accomplishments to date. Not movie accomplishments, because they suck. No, I’ve read the Harry Potter books and memorized the Lord of the Rings. Let’s do this by the text.
And if you haven’t read the books, page down a few times might be good about now.
First Book
Dumbledore managed to set a little kid in front of somebody’s door without dropping him.
Gandalf discovered the origin of the most evil and powerful object in the history of anything, started a quest to destroyed it, and killed a demon of heinous and untold power.
Second Book
Dumbledore went away on business just when he could actually be useful.
Gandalf came back from the dead, mustered an army of walking trees, made the head of the Order of Wizards look like a little sissyboy, and generally kicked ass.
Third Book
Dumbledore aided the escape of a convicted criminal.
Gandalf fended off the Dark Lord’s most powerful lieutenant at the doors of the greatest city on (Middle-)Earth. He saved the life of the heir to the Stewardship of the biggest damned kingdom ever, assembled a vast army which marched on the Dark Lord himself, and managed to hold off the largest army in the history of anything by standing on a hill virtually by himself long enough for the Dark Lord to cork off.
Fourth Book
Dumbledore had a lieutenant and servant of evil right in front of him for a year. It took him that long to notice, even though the dude was in the guise of his best friend.
We don’t know what Gandalf was up to. But even sipping pina coladas at the country club would be more impressive than THAT.
Gandalf wins, hands (and staves) down.
- Benjamin Mithrandir…I mean, Massey