sniff…
-Crusty old Bachelor
I didn’t see anyone respond to this yet…
The simple answer is he’ll (probably) start sleeping through the night after he is well started on solid foods. If you went to bed on only milk, you’d soon wake up hungry too. Our boys were all breast fed and shared the family bed so fortunately, we didn’t suffer from lack of sleep.
We never bought baby food. All nursed for a long time and then ate regular food. Still have one of those baby food grinders in one of the drawers. We go through tons of fruit even still. Musta done something right 'cause our children will still choose an apple over a candy bar.
[quote]
Originaly posted by Mr. Sophie
**
This is actually “Mr. Sophie” here, using my wife’s account.
I’d really like to thank all of you for your kind words and for your VERY helpful suggestions. This has been a time of great upheaval and even greater rewards for the two of us, and in between wanting to kill each other (can’t kill the kids- they’re too cute), we are actually having the time of our lives. Well, no, not really, but that’s what we keep telling each other.**
It really IS some of the most rewarding times of your lives!
It must be exhausting to take on two little ones on short notice, with no prior experience. Most of us get to break into the routine one at a time. Don’t forget to start all the memories now.
Start and maintain a expandable scrapbook. Save everything! It’s all ammo for later. Fer instance, “If you are not home by eleven Jason, I’m gonna show your girl friend your first baby barf in the scrapbook.” Take tons of pictures, there is no excuse not to anymore with these inexpensive disposable cameras, you can afford to keep one everywhere for “evidence” pictures.
Our kids love looking back through all that stuff. They are always comparing themselves to the “growth chart” we made on the door jamb to see if they grew any during the last week. I even saw my 21 year old furtively backing up to the door when he was here for Thanksgiving.
Savor your time now, the little buggers grow up WAY too fast. ::snif::
Sophie, my ex-husband and I took in his grandson, who was four at the time he came to live with us. He also came from a situation of neglect, and was beginning to form a detachment disorder. He held his bowels for a period of weeks at a time. The psychologist we took him to said that this was probably because in a world where he had very little control over anything that happened to him (he had lived with many people by the time he came to live with us), at least that was something he could control. He lived with us two years, and we got help from every source we found out about. (Unfortunately, my little step-grandchild was not allowed to live with me after I divorced his grandfather.)
I am wondering if Dyanne was left in the high chair for long periods of time, and that might explain why she doesn’t want to go in it. Does this happen every time? Was there any abuse that you know of that may have been associated with any of the activities she protests, or is most of it fairly inconsistent?
I do believe that there is logic in everything little kids do. Just because we don’t necessarily know what that logic is, doesn’t mean there isn’t a reason for it. Has Dyanne ever seen a psychologist specializing in young children?
Here is a link to pages of parenting links that you might find useful.
We were also introduced through the sources we contacted to something called Love and Logic. This was extremely helpful to us.
Jordan is doing fine now, and is finally back with his mother. He is eight years old and reading the Harry Potter books. I write to him almost every day, and he informs me that he is writing a book, and asked me if I would like a copy.
It is possible that Dyanne escaped any real problems having to do with her previous situation, but it wouldn’t hurt to have it checked out.
I don’t think Cranky Jr slept through the night until he was seventh months old. Not to panic you, but I know a few moms with 2 1/2 year olds who still don’t sleep through the night!! It does vary; he sounds normal. Learning to put onself back to sleep is a skill that has to be learned, and there is no use trying to teach him now if he’s still needing to eat at night. If it gets to the point where you think he is crying for company and soothing instead of just the bottle, you might get the book by Dr. Ferber about sleeping. Don’t know the title; I just know millions of parents have read it. As for us, we bought a VCR for our nursery and moved a TV in there, and I kept Blockbuster in business my son’s first year. I found I didn’t resent getting up a 3 a.m. if I could watch more of a movie I loved.
As for the two of you–while Mr. Cranky and I certainly miss spending lots of time together sans offspring, we found it is a big lifesaver (and marriage saver) to give each other breaks. I’ve sent Mr. Cranky to the movies or to the bookstore on many a night, so he could have a few hours free of parenting. He’s done the same for me.
You two…wow. I know you say “Anyone would do it” but that’s not true.
I think the best thing you can do for kids is get them to follow a routine. As they get used to the routine it’s much easier to get them to cooperate. They’ll get up about the same time each morning and you can give them breakfast, watch cartoons, get dressed, brush teeth/hair, etc. Give them choices as to what activities they do. (EX: “You can color or watch a movie.”) Lay them down for a nap around the same time each day and put them to bed around the same time each night. You’d be surprised how much a routine helps young ones.
You’re always going to have some difficulties getting a 2 year old to cooperate with you but I guarantee that you get started on routines and stability and you’ll move along much more smoothly.
I’m sure my preceptions are somewhat reflective of working with special needs kids, but I don’t think that there are a lot of young toddlers who are potty trained, anymore. Of the 11 kids in our 3/4 class (36 to 48 months) 7 of them are still in diapers. Of these seven only one of them has a physical disability that makes training more difficult (although she’s consistantly dry, so I think she’s farther on her way to big girl undies than her parents realize) for her. Of the other six one is a “typical” (no IEP) child, and he’s not any closer to being trained than the other kids. Several parents I know of other “typical” three year olds are still in the process of training their kids too. I wouldn’t worry about how long it’s taking, because there are lots of kids older than her that are in diapers too!
When you are ready to really train, I recommend those Pull-Ups(disposable training pants) people have mentioned, but not before then, because to put a new pair on you need to half undress the child (if it needs to be changed like a diaper.) Frankly, diapers with velcro-closures are great for kids who are hit and miss with being wet or dry.
Hi, guys. Next question:
How do you know if a five month old is sick? And how do you tell the difference between teething and sick? He’s not running a fever, but he’s drooling like a mad man and he’s a little fussy. But isn’t five months early for that? Or is this another one of those “every child is different” things? He’s chewing on everything he can get his little fingers on. But, then again, his eyes are a little puffy…or maybe that’s from fussing all day yesterday? ARGH! There is no major snot right now, and he’s on antibiotics because we are nipping in the bud a possible ear infection. ALSO: will antibiotics make his poop a little loose? They will, won’t they? Right?
Jesus H. I’ll figure this out one day.
It sounds like teething Soph. (No fever, drooling, fussy) Don’t sweat it. But keep an eye on him. Colds spring up out of nowhere. (The puffy eyes are probably from crabbing all day.)
“will antibiotics make his poop a little loose?”
A little? No, not at all. (Bwa-hahahaha! It’s not my kid. This time.) A little yogurt after the course of antibiotics should set the little guy right. (As long as he can eat dairy.)
Katcha is getting his eye teeth right now. Even as we speak. He just got over a snot-nosed cold too. He is the Mayor of Crab City.
-Rue.
Sophie,
I doubt the 5 mo. old is teething just yet - - kids ARE different in the timing, but I doubt it. From my experience, kids this age just drool. A LOT. And chew things. Ours went/go through bibs and clothes at an astronomical rate.
Coincidentally, we’ve a five month old right now. The drooling and off/on fussiness and mouthing started about two weeks ago. We’ve started supplementing breast feeding with some real food (mushed banana, white/sweet potatoes, apple juice and rice cereal, etc.) and he’s gradually getting better about swallowing the stuff ('cept for the white potatoes - - he doesn’t much care for them). We’ve had marginal success with apple juice and rice cereal mixed together in a bottle. As he eats more, he gets less fussy.
As for how do you tell when they’re sick? We’re in a different situation than you since we’ve had the most recent edition since birth and have a longer track record with his moods. Generally, if he’s been acting odd for a whole day, we start to think “sick.” We’ll watch him for signs of ear discomfort, ragged breathing, stuffy nose, etc. If it’s appears to be a cold, we’ll give him some infant tylenol and wait it out - - there’s not much the Dr. can do for the average cold. Caveat - - if the cold looks like it’s getting significantly worse and there’s more than the usual discomfort, we get to the Dr. pretty fast. If it looks like ears or eyes, we go to the Dr. for antibiotics pronto.
Then there’re stealth ear infections that come on suddenly, strongly, w/o any other symptoms, and usually at night. Typically, kids will cry when horizontal and be less antsy when seated or propped up. Sometimes they’ll want to drink A LOT. (Guess the swallowing helps.) Don’t feed them too much, since it usually comes right back up!! A proper dose of tylenol, cuddling, and keeping the head elevated relative to the rest of the body will get you through the night until you can get to the Dr.
Some antibiotics will affect the poop and digestive system. Some will also lead to SEVERE diaper rash if you’re not careful. Some will make the child very uncomfortable. This varies with the child and the med. If you suspect the antibiotic is the cause, call the Dr. and they will usually prescribe an alternative that’s milder on the stomach.
You’re definitely on the steep end of the learning curve right now. You appear to have a great attitude about it, which with lots of love, will make the next several weeks easier to handle. FWIW, we found going from one to two kids to be the hardest - - much more so than going from two to three or three to four. It got better for us, and it will for you, too. Hang in there!
Teeth are moving around all the time even if they’re a long way from popping through the gum. I’ll bet that’s what is going on. Some kids “teeth hard” meaning they feel every one for a long time before it comes in, and it’s a hard, evil battle to get them all through. We took our kid to the doctor one time, positive he had a terrible ear infection because of the continual screaming. No, it was his teeth. Man. The doctor called it “Severe Teething Syndrome” but I suspect that’s just one of those things doctors make up on the spot and write down so the parents don’t feel quite so stupid.
I would be embarrassed to tell you how heavily we relied on infant-strength non-aspirin pain relievers that first year. It may be a miracle if Cranky Jr does not need a liver transplant before the age of 8.
HELP! HELP!
Knight is puking and has diarreah. The doctor said that he has a bug and that I don’t have to worry unless he starts refusing food, which he isn’t doing yet. Plus, the ear infection is WORSE. We are on new meds, Zithromax.
I feel so motherhuffing helpless.
Wondering what I did in a past life to deserve all this,
Sophie
How long has he been vomiting/having diarrhea? If it isn’t projectile vomiting/painful/doesn’t last longer than a day I wouldn’t worry too much. Just make sure he is getting lots of clear fluids.
About the ear - one thing you might want to try to minimize the pain is to put a piece of cotton in the affected ear. Large enough so that it won’t go all the way inside the ear canal but make sure it fits snugly and isn’t big enough for him to pull out easily. [imightlooklikeanidiotsayingthis] It helps to equalize the pressure on the ear.[/itreallydoesworkevenifIcan’texplainwhy-i’vedoneitplentytomyself]
Also - with the potty training, I think that, unless Dyanne seems to really want to do this, you should layoff on that until she gets more established and comfortable in your household. Let her get accustomed to all the other changes -especially with the stress of the holidays right now. My experience with the pull-ups wasn’t good. My daughter realized very quickly that she could treat them just like a diaper, no discomfort - no difference at all. So we started packing 3-4 extra sets of clothes for the sitter and put her in regular panties. Then she got the idea and it didn’t take anytime at all for her to learn.
Good luck and I also think you’re great for taking these kids in and loving them so much.
Sorry didn’t think of this before
Could the vomiting and diarrhea be a side effect of the medicine? Has he been eating any new food(s) recently? Are there any new chemicals in use around him?
An infant with both diarrhea and vomiting is particularly prone to dehydration, you might want to have some Pedialyte on hand and try him on an ounce or two now and then, especially if he begins to run a fever. In addition to a “bug”, I agree with the poster that mentioned sometimes a new prescription can cause vomiting and diarreah, ether way the pedialyte is a good precaution against dehydration.
I don’t how much help this is, but that helpless feeling when a child is ill is quite normal to parents and loving care givers. I doubt that I can say much that will ease your feelings of concern and helplessness, on the other hand, perhaps a little validation will help you through the difficult times.
A final thought,
I suspect that there will come a time when you will feel this way, but you will mean it from other end of the spectrum of emotions. Parenting has brought me my greatest sorrow, but it has also brought me ten fold the joy.
Peace
Ugh. Okay. Since you’ve asked and all, here’s what’s up tonight:
Dyanne had a great evening. No fits.
Knight, on the other hand, has been throwing up and pooping liquid all evening. Weird: he’s still in his usual great mood. Thank god. I think I’d loose my mind if he cried through all of this. Poor baby. I wanna kick the ass of the virus that’s doing this.
The doc did tell me about how the meds will affect his stomach, and I knew that from experience. However, she really felt that, because he is in daycare for the first time in his life, he just caught a bug and that it should run it’s course within 24 hours. Tomorrow, if he’s doing this around noon, we’re going back to the doctor.
He threw up and pooped all the milk. We switched to clear liquids. He threw them up/pooped them, too, but about thirty minutes ago, he was able to keep down (and not out) two ounces of clear liquid. He just passed out from exhaustion. FTR, it’s almost 10:30 where I am. We’ll check out the diaper situation in a few minutes, once he’s way into sleep.
I hate this feeling of…incompetence? Instability? No, wait, it’s helplessness. And when I said earler that I wondered what I had done in a previous life to deserve this, it was all tongue in cheek, because it ain’t me I’m worried about right now.
RELAX!
Take a deep breath… Now take another…
Little Buggers, start a pit thread. Oh yeah, one more piece of advice, get used to it. Ya got kids around, expect one or more to be sick at any given time FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Try five at once. Do you think everyone could get sick at once and share the misery? Heck no. First the oldest gets a nasty cold, everyone else is fine. "Everyone wash your hands now, Jason if you have to sneeze, go outside so the rest of us don’t get it! Jason forgets and shares his juice with a couple of his brothers or in all likelihood, gets put out that he is the only one sick and so furtively sneezes around his younger brothers or wipes his snot on their pillows.
Now there are Five mobile germ factories keeping you up all hours of the night… Daddy, water!! Daddy kleenex!!! Mommy, BARF!!! ::Lucky me, missed that one::
You start to experience what you are only beginning to fathom, exhaustion, concern, doubts as to your capability and sanity… Then BANG you start to drag, “Gotta get some sleep”.
Try to take a nap with five whiney, snotty children sharing your bed. Finally you nod off for 10 minutes only to wake up with a scratchy throat, no more energy and the certain knowledge that YOU are next and your SO in not far behind.
Welcome to parenthood, ain’t it grand?
Break out the tea, push the fluids, feed a cold, fever a starve, “how does that go”? Cold a starve, fever a feed.
Gradually you find things returning to near sanity only to hear a slight sniffle from your youngest, preparing for the next round of incessant illness.
Don’t worry, you’ll become accustomed to it. Another few years and you won’t even notice it.
Take comfort in the fact that kids are tough and pretty much built/designed to kick whatever ails them. The only thing you never get over is the worry and concern you feel for your sick child.
Ditto everything Bare’s said here. (BTW, how’s the weather your way? We’re still in shirt sleeves down here in Nawlins.)
There’s no more helpless feeling in the world than when a really little person is sick. You’re doing the right thing by communicating with your doctor, so you can relax a great deal. Be observant, though, for things that don’t look right to you. Things aren’t too bad if the child has a cheerful disposition.
As for daycare - - it’s a germ breeding factory. Each toy gets mouthed by each child at least once a day. The center should disinfect the toys each evening, but it only takes one or two sick kids to spread a bug around. When our daughter started daycare, she went to the pediatrician seven times in 13 weeks. We ultimately had to pull her out of daycare, hire babysitters, and take advantage of flex time. Hopefully Knight will handle his “immunity building experiences” better than our daughter did.
The weather here is weird. It’s all warm and overcast. You know what that means. It should be raining soon and get real cold. Ivorybill, next time I’m in New Orleans I’ma look you up. It’s my Favorite City Ever.
I’ve calmed down. Just a little freaked out there. Knight’s poop is changing colors, turning darker. Good stuff. He’s getting better; he’s just so tired.
I think I’ll go (gasp!) take a shower now.
Sopie, you and Mr. Sophie are truly amazing people. I don’t have children but I did help raise my twin brother and sister growing up. It’s been long enough that I probably won’t be much use in the way of advise, but not so long ago that I’ve forgotten how bloddy hard it was. You deserve a medal – a metal medal, even.
I want to tell you that I have really enjoyed reading this thread. Your updates and all of the responses are absolutely riveting reading material for me. Please don’t be shy about continuing to post here. You may also think about printing this thread out and adding it to a journal or scrapbook. I think you may find it interesting to look back on it in a few years.
Speaking of updates, how did Dyanne do in the booster chair?
The booster chair was a flop. She wants to be in her high chair for now (is that a gray hair? Why yes, I think it is). But, we have been asking every night which one she prefers. She’ll give it up when she wants. Whatever. I love that child but she…
…is…
…driving…
…me…
…crazy…
Thanks, tevya.