OK, think about the single most stupid/dangerous meal you ate while driving. You may not be proud of your behavior, and you may look back upon it with regret, but at the time it may have seemed necessary/timesaving/relatively safe. Now, count up your points (+ & -) based on how many Yes answers you provide to see how genuinely stupid it was.[ul]
[li]Were you alone in the car? (+1) If not, was there anyone in the car 6 years or older? (-1) If the only other passengers were 5 years or younger, were you feeding them as well as yourself while driving? (+1) Were you breastfeeding while eating/driving? (+2 more)[]Where did you put your food? In the empty passenger seat? (+0) On your lap or the dashboard? (+1) On the backseat? (+2)[]If you dropped any food on the floor of the car, did you retrieve it off the floor and continue eating while driving? (+1; +2 if you dropped in on the floor of the backseat)[]Did this meal require utensils? (+1) Were those utensils chopsticks? (+1 more)[]Did you use a dipping sauce with your meal, or condiments you first had to open? (+1)[]Did you eat with both hands, steering with your forearms/elbows/knees/chin? (+2)[]Did you eat any part of the meal from some type of container or packaging? (thermos, shrinkwrap, etc.) (-1)[]Were you talking on a cel phone, changing your clothes, applying make-up, or reading while eating/driving? (+2) Were you involved in sexual relations while eating/driving? (+2)[]Was the transmission of the car manual? (+1) Or automatic? (-1) Did you use the cruise control while eating? (-1)[]Did you drive over 80 mph while eating/driving? (+1) Did you commit any other moving violations besides speeding? (+2) Were you pulled over by the police for said moving violation? (+2 more) Did you get a ticket? (+1 more) Were you still eating while talking to the police officer? (+1 more)[]Were you in an accident while eating/driving? (+2) Was it with another vehicle? (+1 more)[]Were you injured (includes tongue-biting, eye-poking, lap-burning, etc.) while eating your meal? (+2) Did this injury require hospitalization? (+1 more) Did you continue to finish your meal post-injury? (+1 more)[]Were you operating a motorcycle when answering all the above? (+3)[/ul][/li]
If you were (a) drinking alcohol, or (b) responsible for someone’s death during this meal, you’re automatically ruled ineligible, since these two things move beyond stupid to, well, kinda evil.
Now, provide your point total and breakdown:
My dumbest meal was a KFC chicken tenders combo meal with 2 sides, which included dipping sauce (1), mac & cheese, requiring a fork (1), and wedge-cut fries, one of which I dropped on the floor and retrieved (1). I was alone in the car (1), which was a manual transmission (1). No speeding over 80, accidents, or police involvement, and the food was on the passenger seat. No injuries or other supplemental activities.
I get 1 point for eating alone in the car and -1 because it was an automatic. That gives me a score of 0.
Honestly.
All I ever eat while driving is either reaching blindly into the fast food back to score some fries or reaching blindly into the Brown’s Chicken bag to score some mushrooms. Everything else waits until I get home.
I’ve spilled a thermos of coffee on my driving leg so often I can’t count.
No matter how I try to stabalize the thing it will tip over on turns or swerve, the worst times to be distracted and made to flinch.
The most theoretically dangerous instance I’ve engaged in.
[ul]
[li]Were you alone in the car? (+1)[/li][li]Where did you put your food? On your lap or the dashboard? (+1)[/li][li]Did this meal require utensils? (+1) Were those utensils chopsticks? (+1 more) (Hey, it was Chinese food. What, I’m gonna eat it with a fork?)[/li][li]Did you eat any part of the meal from some type of container or packaging? (thermos, shrinkwrap, etc.) (-1)[/li][li]Or automatic? (-1) (transmission, that is.)[/ul][/li]Damn, Chinese food while driving only rates a lousy 2? Yeah, in high school I was dumb enough to use chopsticks while driving.
This is the incident that resulted in an accident, though.
[ul]
[li]Were you alone in the car? (+1)[/li][li]Where did you put your food? In the empty passenger seat? (+0) (No points even though it’s probably why the accident occurred.)[/li][li]Did you eat any part of the meal from some type of container or packaging? (thermos, shrinkwrap, etc.) (-1)[/li][li]Was the transmission of the car manual? (+1) (Different car.)[/li][li]Were you in an accident while eating/driving? (+2)[/li][li]Were you injured (includes tongue-biting, eye-poking, lap-burning, etc.) while eating your meal? (+2) (Mild bruising from said accident.) Did you continue to finish your meal post-injury? (+1 more) (Well, I’m not gonna just let my food get cold waiting for the tow truck!)[/li][/ul]
6 altogether. All it was was fast food. I bent over to pick up a french fry out of the bag on the passenger seat, took my eyes off the road for a few seconds, and found my passenger-side wheels on the freeway shoulder. The car naturally pulled hard to the right, and in trying to steer back onto the freeway I overcorrected, resulting in my car spinning out. I was only 18-ish - gimme a break. I mostly remember a brief look facing into the headlights of cars traveling at me at 70 mph as my car sailed off into the median (far enough that it wasn’t even really visible from the road.)
One of the scariest events of my life, actually - which may suggest that my life hasn’t been all that scary so far. Even so, it still makes me nervous to think about that.