eBay Ettiquette

I purchased a video for less than $15. I win, he sends his contact info, but no phone number. I ask him to please send me a phone contact - even at work - in case there are problems. I even include my number.

He responds back that his number is unlisted and he won’t give it out.

I think that if I’m sending money to someone I don’t know, that getting a phone contact is not unreasonable to ask. And I am thinking of not sending the money in on principal.

What do you think, Dopers? Am I overreacting, or do I have a point?

Yer pal,

Having just made my first e-bay purchase(and everything went well), I do not believe that you are requesting anything out of the ordinary. It is very difficult to know someone else’s intentions, and a phone number, unlisted or not, does not seem out of the ordinary before making a transaction. I would contact the seller (via email I assume) and state that you are not comfortable sending your payment w/out a phone number.


I deal regularly on E-bay both buying and selling, and have never been asked for a phone number or have asked for one myself. There is actually a place on E-bay where you can request that information (it’s required when a seller registers). I personally would not give out my phone number due to the easy access of various stalker freaky weirdos. I guess it’s no worse then giving someone my address, but I’d be a little nervous about someone asking me for that info.
I don’t have rational reasons for this, it’s just the way I feel. If it were a big money transaction, I would probobly feel different.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes.

Oh, and if you request that info from E-bay, a notice is sent to both you and the person you’re asking about letting everyone know that phone info has been requested.
Just thought you’de like to know! :slight_smile:

It is not unreasonable to ask for the number before you bid (some may give it out, I don’t think I would, however), but to back out of a successful bid after the close of the auction? That’s just asking for bad feedback. I say you should check out the seller’s feedback file, and only deal with those with good, long records. I think the system generally works pretty good (for both buyer and seller), and I’ve never had a problem that wasn’t resolved to the satisfaction of my customers.


“Believe those who seek the truth.
Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide

Hell. I just rememembered that I need to go back to amazon.com to rate the guy who I bought something from a few weeks ago. I’m not gonna get a good buyer rating for that, am I? :slight_smile:

and tracking down someone online isn’t very difficult at all. Even if –

(two-hour-long break in writing this b/c some idiot drunken frat boys pulled the fire alarm in my dorm room)

– man that pisses me off. Where was I? Oh yeah. Even if they don’t use the internet, there are enough phone directories (also with reverse lookup, which is extremely useful) online to find anyone. A dear friend of mine who doesn’t exactly live near me (and doesn’t use the internet) once refused to tell me her mailing address b/c she knew what I wanted to do with it was to mail her a birthday present (I knew her from college and never had to know her home until this summer). A little bit of online searching (reverse lookup; I already had her phone number), and I was able to hit the post office first thing the next morning :slight_smile:

but those of us online have a lot more to look at. My own college’s web site used to give home and campus mail and phone numbers online. Other colleges do this too, I’ve noticed. Zette, you just TOLD us exactly how to find your own phone number! (though I imagine I already know the area code, right? :slight_smile: )

so anyway Satan I think it wouldn’t be too difficult to find out the phone number of this person, even without requesting it from eBay. Then call him up and say “nyah nyah nyah” :slight_smile:

“I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.”
–Wayne Knight

Uh, do you by any chance have the same user name on eBay that you use here? Who wouldn’t hesitate to give their phone number to . . . . HIM (hushed tones, scared look over shoulder).
Seriously, Zette is right. With such a small amount involved, a phone number is not necessary. I buy and sell on eBay all the time and the subject rarely comes up. And you should check feedback before bidding, like the instructions recommend. That can save you some grief.

Also, DO follow through with your deal. Bad feedback will cause you problems if you ever plan to do business there again, regardless of your reason.



I got his number using the feature Zette mentioned. I sent the check today.

No, I do not go by Satan on eBay. I go by justadude if anyone is looking for me!

Yer pal,

I’m hardly worried about stalking. Come on over and I’ll introduce you to my 130lb Rottie and my nasty Shar-pei. We’ll play “scary intruder”- they just love that game :slight_smile:
No, seriously…I know that people can use reverse look up and all that, but I guess that on E-bay if there is no problem, I would just wonder why someone wanted my phone number. Once a bid is final, that is not information that is required, though you can request it as I mentioned to Satan. A lot of people live in fear of someone harassing/stalking them, so they feel funny giving out their phone number to people. A lot of E-bayers don’t know you can look up a phone number on there- I had to do it once when I had a problem. And as I said earlier, at least E-bay notifys you if someone requests your phone number- a little heads up for you, just in case. I like that, myself.
Also, a reverse lookup won’t work on my address, as my number is not listed under my name.
PS- In case anyone here plans on “stopping by” unannounced, I wasn’t joking about the dogs. :slight_smile: Have a nice day.

A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes.

my friend’s address wasn’t under her name, either (she’s an extremely private person, suffice to say), but the phone number matched up with the address. And since I knew it was her number, I knew I could send her gift to that address. And it worked.

really, Zette? you seem to be the ONLY one in this thread using the word “stalking”. . . :slight_smile:

“I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.”
–Wayne Knight

Oh, well- If were talking GIFTS here…thats another story! I like chocolate, software, computer gadgets…Barnes and Noble gift certificates, Starbucks coffee…
Come on over! Bring presents! :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
Better bring something for the dogs, though…just in case :wink:

Well, Zette, for showing that feature on eBay to me, I’ve got a big box of chocolates to send you!

Just need your address and phone number… :wink:

Yer pal,

I request a phone number & give one too [course its the office nbr.]. If they are on the up & up no reason to not have it. There are other ways to buy, COD for example. But make sure its UPS COD Cash [the driver insists on cash when he brings the package].

$15 isn’t much.

One deal I just made was for $680.00. Sold some dishes. I asked the woman for her phone nbr & her banks number too. Tried 4 times to give the acct nbr to the bank clerk who culdn’t find it. Faxed the clerk a copy of the check & a second fax of the info on it. Called back, clerk said, give me the nbr again. I said ‘what? i just sent it to you faxed’ he said, yeah but I need to verify it again. I almost screamed. Heh, took 45 minutes to verify that thing.

well then you have to tell me what the dogs like; I don’t think they’d be as thankful for chocolate as you would seem to be, Zette :smiley:

Actually, one of their favorite snacks is femur. Mmmmmm…
Zette :slight_smile:

Here is a site that lets you check out weird ebay auctions:

Actually I like the ad better than the site…

Zette, ‘easy access of various stalker freaky weirdos…’ Well, if you are ordering a video the only reason I can see for not giving out a phone number would be because the video is something like ‘I married a horse.’ or ‘How to pick up girls & get laid.’
Things like that might attract some weirdos…I can only image what S. ordered.:slight_smile:

Has anyone else noticed that if you have the words “Rare,” “One of a kind,” or “Hard to get,” in an auction, it usually has about 10 or more bidders? Weird… it says “rare” and you see it again with the same words about 10 times on eBay. SOmeone badly wants to get rid of their stuff.

Daniel said:

I just want to know what did you get for her last birthday?

Virtually yours,

I J Matrix
“Lies, lies, lies, spam and lies” - Konrad

DrMatrix: I didn’t know her for her last birthday. Actually that isn’t true; she remembers the EXACT time we met and it was a year before that; suffice to say I didn’t know her very well her last birthday.

It’s just that she, like me, is the sort of person who loves to give but hates to receive. Funny story when she came to visit this past Friday: coming from the bus depot, I paid for the taxi, hoping she wouldn’t notice, but she did. . . she got back at me immediately afterwards: She was hungry, I was NOT, but since she was buying food for herself she wanted to buy something for me. . . and it had to be more substantial than toast. . . I had to order SOMETHING on her money or else she’d buy me a STEAK and there was really no way to stop her from doing that.

I wasn’t hungry though, and I hardly touched my salad. . .