egging rant

The BBQ Pit
1

To the asshole that egged my house:
I’d just like to give a nice heartfelt FUCK YOU to you. Thank you so much for making my parents work their ass off so that their house can look like it used to before you decided to fuck it up! If you got a beef w/ me, goody for you, just don’t take it out on my parents stuff k? Oh and it was so nice of you to make sure that you hid some egg right above my window where it was hard to see so it could cook for TWO days. Geeze you’re such an asshole. I don’t even know who the hell you are, so what good does it do to egg my house??!?! Piss me off and see what I do about it? HA! Yeah you pissed me off, and my parents and just you wait and see when I find out it was YOU you little shithead.
This proves how cool you are doesn’t it?? What the hell did I even do to you anyway? I’m not a mean person or anything, you really must be easy to piss off. Or maybe, just maybe, are you jealous of me and this is your sick way of geting back at me? Heh, I rightly don’t give a shit.

Whoever you are, and I will find out, I have lost all respect for you, and next time you have a beef with me, take it up with me personally, not my parents’ fucking house k?

2

That really blows. I will never understand the whole egging, forking, tp-ing thing. Thank God it has never happened at my house. I have told my friends (who think it is funny) that they are NOT allowed to do that to me. I think it is one of the most immature stunts that teens do, and I really hope that I will never have to experience it firsthand. I hope you figure out who did it to you so that you can beat the shit out of them. Just kidding. No violence, please. I hope you figure out who did it to you so that you can make their life a living hell. That’s better.

3

thanx chum. I really wouldnt have minded a tp-ing, thats not hard to clean. But this… well. Hopefully someone will spill that they egged my house. Don’t know what I’m going to do exactly when I find out who it was, but I’m sure I’ll think of something :slight_smile:

4

Hey, forking is deliciously funny if it is done right.

  1. Buy around 300 plastic forks.

2.Take a lawn gnome or concrete goose and put it in the middle of the yard.

  1. Begin placing forks in a circular manner spiralling inwards towards the gnome. Tilt them so it looks like they are bowing to it.

  2. Take pictures.

  3. Hilarity ensues.

Doing this, you give the person a lifetime supply of forks and a new lawn ornament that you can steal at a later time and take pictures of outside of famous landmarks. Forks are easy to clean up, just grab a rake. And to see 300 plastic forks bowing to their gnome master is priceless.

Branch into new and wonderful patterns, such as a checkerboard or waves. You could fork a bunny for Easter! Just make sure to never fork something obscene in any way, or you take the fun out of it.

5

Actually, my friends and I used to “abuse” each others’ houses every weekend during high school - we’d get together, and whoever wasn’t there would have a mess to clean up the next morning. :slight_smile: No, we didn’t egg anyone’s house (although we once used snow-in-a-can to leave a message on someone’s window and the window treatment got messed up, but that was an accident), and our parents never cleaned it up - we did. It started with “ribboning,” kind of like TPing but using rolls and rolls of quality fabric ribbon instead - cars, lawn furniture, once an entire house. It got crazy from there - plastic forking, decorating cars, suspending bikes from trees, and once even putting the patio furniture on the roof of the patio in the same arrangement it was on the patio. We were evil, but it was good, harmless fun, and more than once our parents even got into the act with us. :slight_smile:

Esprix

6

You used ribbon?

You are so gay.

:wink:

7

yeah. Nice isn’t it?

Red

8

The only time I egged anyone the guy was really asking for it…so bad that my dad put the idea in my twisted lil mind.

This older gentleman would call the police every time my high school garage band practiced in our garage. If it was midnight, maybe even 9 p.m., I could understand his having a problem with thrash metal being cranked by amateurs. But at 6 p.m??!!?? With the garage doors closed!!??!! On a Saturday!!??!! Come on, the local noise ordinance didn’t go in effect until 10 p.m., I checked. The police would show up, say “Hi, someone called saying you’re making too much noise, but we stood at his driveway to listen and could barely hear you. You’re fine for now, just make sure you stop by 10.”

Me, being the neighborly type, would even call the gentleman, tell him we were going to be practicing that evening and ask him to notify me if we were too loud for his taste, since he was just wasting the cops’ time, and I’d try to find a compromise volume level.

You just can’t be nice to some people.

Eveytime we played he’d still call the cops, not me. After the 12th round of this game, the cops knew our set better than we did and my dad was tired of seeing the boys in blue at his door. Once they had left for the final time (headbanging back to the station I imagine), my dad said to me “You know, Thump, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone egged his house for being such a prick”

WOOHOOO!!! A parent-sanctioned egging!!

A case of eggs, a brick house, and a Wisconsin winter is an awesome combination. I think there’s still some egg on it, ten years later.

He had to know who did it, since my siblings and I were the only people under 50 on the block, but he never called me on it, and the police visits during our jams stopped…mission accomplished.

There are times when it’s necessary to hurl an egg in defense of rock ‘n’ roll.

Oh yeah, because this is the Pit:
fucknugget

9

<Psst! Thump - we’re not doing that anymore. We’ve decided it’s passe now. :D>

10

I feel your pain, south.

Last summer my parents were visiting one night, and when we left to go out the next morning, some of the neighborhood kids had egged both my car and theirs. I have no idea why–probably just boys being boys, because I don’t have any problems with any of my neighbors.

In most cases, it wouldn’t be that big a deal. However, my neighborhood is full of crows, LOTS of crows. The first we knew anything was wrong was when we heard more raucous cawing than usual outside. The crows were eating the egg off the cars, and doing a fair amount of damage with beaks, feet, and poop in the process.

My car’s not much to look at, so it was no big deal for me, but I felt bad for my parents and their Grand Marquis. The only thing they had done to deserve that was to park on my street that night.

I don’t mind pranks, but ones that cause damage just aren’t funny.

11

I was also paranoid of people egging my house, especially during Junior and Senior year. Every year, in our school, there’s a Powder Puff game (girl’s football) and Juniors play against Seniors. Well, chaos ensues because girls (and boys) on both sides play pranks on the rival grade. You’d go out into the parking lot and find cars egged or TP-ed. But it was mostly between the popular kids, but I was still afraid that they’d get to my house, especially during my Senior year because I had a few Junior friends. Eggings also happen on the last day of school, but not so much anymore. I used to be scared shitless walking home from the bus on the last day of school freshman and sophmore year.

12

About a year ago, the neighbor kids egged our garage. Apparently, we’re the mean people on the street, since we have no kids and keep pretty much to ourselves. However, for some reason, the kids seem to think that all of the front yards in the neighborhood are their playground, and were trampling our landscaping. My husband asked them, politely, to please refrain from playing in our yard because not only did it wreck the landscaping, but it also caused our two dogs to bark their fool heads off.

Next morning, egg on the garage. It got through the slats of the garage door and onto my new (then) car. It came off the car, but, a year later, the garage door is still discolored.

Any suggestions for how to remove the discoloration? We’re thinking about selling the house come October, and this is a big deal, since it’s one of the first things people will see.

13

Doh! I stand corrected…thanks, featherlou.

14

Sorry this had to happen to you, south. But when I was in grade 8, I had an epiphany. I was having a battle royal with a classmate, verbal, not physical. He was acting like a psychopath; I’m not going into all the details, but he was like…well, like John Bender, determined to destroy me. Only I wasn’t crying. At that age, I was starting to like debate: I looked at it as a chance to prove myself: if my ideas were valid, I should be able to defend them, and I tried every way I could, not realizing that it was like teaching the proverbial pig to sing.

So anyway, at one point he said, [Jackie Aprile]"I’ll egg your house. I will do that. I will egg your house.[/Jackie Aprile]. It dawned on me that I didn’t have to lose face right then over something he might not end up doing, or would do anyway even if I did back down. I went solemn and said, “Go ahead: egg my house. I’ll still think what I want to think.”

Unfortunately, he bounced off that and started abusing me from a different angle. And I’m sorry to say that he did make me cry. But he didn’t egg my house, and I didn’t back down.

Of course, since you don’t know why this happened, so I understand your frustration. But is it possible that they got the wrong house?

15

I’m not sure ** Rilchiam **, its possible, although I don’t know anyone else on my street that would need their house to be egged (bunch of young kids around 7yrs and a couple older people). I originally thought that it was someone who just felt like egging someone’s house, until I found out that my windows were egged specifically, no one else’s. Also no other house in the neighborhood was egged.

I have an idea of why someone would egg my house, but to me it seems like a stupid reason. (I got a position a couple other people wanted and they seemed angry at me afterwards.)

I haven’t told anyone except a select few that my house was egged, because I’m hoping that someone will talk about it. (Not that I’m really going to do anything about it, it’d be nice to know though.)

16

Well, good luck!