Popeye kills a puppy.
I will say… Eggs Benedict with salmon sounded really good to me one day… so I ordered it… NEVER again.
Huh. The diner we eat breakfast in most adjusts the menu price of Eggs Benedict subtly. See, all the fried breakfasts come with coffee included. The Eggs Benedict costs just a wee bit more plus you have to pay for coffee separately. Clever clogs. I get it about half the time I go, and they love us anyway because we are sweet natured regulars who never complain and tip heavily, so I guess that works out and maybe allows the puppy to be only half-murdered.
When I visit my parents, who live in a coastal city, I always get eggs benedict with crab meat instead of ham. Delicious.
Fine. Then I’ll just have three eggs, one shirred, one coddled and one lightly charred in the shell with an acetylene torch, two slices of toast, one sourdough, no butter, regular, one pumpernickel, grilled on one side only, and with the crust removed all in one piece and served separately, and an order of potato pancakes, one with applesauce and one with sour cream and chives, on two plates.
And a martyred puppy on the side.
That’s odd. Hollandaise and salmon are a match made in heaven. Eggs and salmon work well. Maybe you just had some bad salmon. I hope it wasn’t smoked.
You mean it is not properly made with bologna? Hmm. My recipe book lies.
Is it ok for me to still order it (and will the puppy be saved!) if I order mine with the eggs scrambled instead of poached?
God frowns upon you.
Ok by me, so long as the puppy is spared.
Just remember that butter is your friend when making Hollandaise. You can recover a broken hollandaise by adding small chunks of butter.
Interesting. I have never heard that. Usually, the standard way to rescue a broken hollandaise is to whisk a tablespoon of water or cream into it, or to whisk the hollandaise into a well-whisked egg yolk. You’re the chef, but I’m at a bit of a loss to understand how more fat could rescue a bad emulsification. Surely, you’d need more emulsifier, no? (i.e. the lecithin in egg yolks)?
I like Eggs Benedict, but I rarely order it.
I usually just order braised puppy with a side order of kitten. 
We would call that “Eggs Atlantic”.
And it is very nice.
Years ago, in my college days, I was a breakfast cook and could do a proper Eggs Benedict. As has been noted, the timing of the components is the key. It was a bitch to learn to do properly but after a while I could get into the zen of the thing and do it without thinking.
On my days off, I’d sometimes go to a rival place down the street and have their EB. I could make them well, but the woman who worked there was an artist.
Alas, I’ve never been able to do make them at home.
Even bad Eggs Benedict kick ass.
So, cooks, if it’s not perfect, I will still be grateful. The yolks can be overdone, the Canadian bacon cold, and the Hollandaise grainy, and I will still devour them with much relish.
This is probably because I first fell in love with Eggs Benedict in a [Parents, if you have small children, you may want to take them out of the room.]college dormatory dining hall, Burge (“and Purge”) at U Iowa. They made them on Sunday mornings sometimes. So, so good.
Candyass. *
*Speaking as a former cook who has worked many a Mother’s day and Easter brunch shift.
Hmm. I can whip together Eggs Benedict without hardly working, and I’m no chef.
Hollandaise can be made in the blender in about 20 seconds. Even if you don’t do it that way, it can be made and kept over a double boiler for a long time. It’s reheating it that’s the bitch, not keeping it hot.
Poached eggs can be made in advance, and kept in a water bath in the fridge. Dip in boiling water for 15 seconds to reheat.
'course, if you don’t do any of this in advance, I can see how on a busy morning that’s a fair bit more work than throwing a couple eggs to fry on the grill. But hey - that’s the point of going out to breakfast. Some else has to do the dirty work. 
As an alternative, you can do what one chef did to me: I ordered Eggs Benedict. It was a slow morning at the restaurant - there was maybe two tables besides mine - but still, it was too much for the poor chef. He sent out my Eggs Benedict without the hollandaise sauce. The waitress told me it was coming right up. We waited… and waited… after about ten minutes, during which our food sat getting cold, the waitress came over and informed me that the chef was “too busy” to make my hollandaise.
I was speechless. Mr. Athena was speechless. The chef… too busy… to cook?!? WTF?
Luckily, there was another breakfast place a few blocks away. They managed to make the eggs benedict just fine.
As a side note, I would like to observe that Eggs Benedict and Dom Perignon are the perfect combination. I usually don’t like champagne, but in this case, I’ll happily consume mass quantities!
Making them at home isn’t that hard. Of course, the wife does the eggs and muffins, while I do the Canadian bacon and hollandaise. Cheating, I know.
The whole point of going out to eat is to get something that you might not be able to make at home, something special and different. If something like Eggs Benedict is beyond the abilities of the cooks at a restaurant then they should just not have it on their menu. If it’s on the menu then it’s fair game and you should make it with a smile…
and no spit.
Oh, and God doesn’t kill puppies for lame ass reasons such as that.