Electron Band Structure in Germanium, My Ass: A pissed off physics undergrad

[Derleth]

Fig. 1: Check this shit out.

Abstract: The exponential dependence of resistivity on temperature in germanium is found to be a great big lie. My careful theoretical modeling and painstaking experimentation reveal 1) that my equipment is crap, as are all the available texts on the subject and 2) that this whole exercise was a complete waste of my time.

The trials of a physics undergrad trying to complete a simple assignment with substandard gear, unhelpful fellows, and the dodgiest fit I’ve ever seen. (“Well, at least all the points lie in the same plane.”) A gem:

This relation between temperature and resistivity can be shown to be exponential in certain temperature regimes by waving your hands and chanting “to first order”.

And another:

Going into physics was the biggest mistake of my life. I should’ve declared CS. I still wouldn’t have any women, but at least I’d be rolling in cash.

I still can’t stop laughing at that one.

[Rysto]

Apparently the guy now has a Ph.D. in CS.

[Oslo_Ostragoth]

That’s hilarious. Is it something someone actually turned in?

[hawthorne]

It’s been around a fair while - at least five years, probably longer. [Looks] Ah, there we go Lucas Kovar. Electron Band Structure in Germanium, My Ass. Annals of Improbable Research, July 2001.

Still bloody funny and highly educational.

[Malacandra]

Bit lightweight, otherwise it’d be in the running for an IgNobel, I’d’ve said.

[starryspice]

I’ve seen this before, but I’m still crying, I’m laughing so hard.
(I needed that.)

[PharmBoy]

@Derleth

Fig. 1: Check this shit out.The trials of a physics undergrad trying to complete a simple assignment with substandard gear, unhelpful fellows, and the dodgiest fit I’ve ever seen. (“Well, at least all the points lie in the same plane.”) A gem:And another:I still can’t stop laughing at that one.

I have a copy of this - I still have it on my bulletin board. Any science major can totally relate to this guy…

[Autolycus]

Thanks for showing me this. I have some old science teachers I need to show this too…