…Elliot has announced they are trans and that they use he/they pronouns. You are making a number of assumptions here. You do need special insight to speculate on the nature of a relationship.
Yep.
Assumption made with zero evidence.
We have zero idea when it was that Elliot came out to their partner. It is unreasonable to think that Elliot wasn’t up front two years ago. Do you really think that Portner found out the same time as everybody else?
But there is no need to speculate. Portner believes “Trans, queer and non-binary people are a gift to this world” and Portner is proud of Elliot and Elliot’s "existence is a gift in and of itself. Shine on sweet E. Love you so much.”
A good point. I feel it’s dismissive to somebody’s sexual orientation to claim that they can just change it if needed. I thought we had moved beyond the belief that being gay or straight is just a choice.
Is that a distinction you apply to every other married couple in existence? Love, support and affirmation isn’t enough? Do you really want Portner to add the disclaimer “oh and by the way, we are still going to stay married” every time she publicly expresses their love for their partner?
Elliot has come out as trans/nonbinary using he/they pronouns. They haven’t (as far as I’m aware) identified as a man. Not that if they did it would change anything if they did. You have zero idea about the relationship, and have nothing to base your speculation on.
I think its just clear that you don’t actually understand what has happened here.
My niece ( the one who isn’t a niece by blood but whom I love like she was a niece by blood. And her wife too! ) has gone through this as well. Do you think that I love/respect any less because of this? If you do, then Feel Free to b__ m_ !
My only regret is that we don’t get to see them as often as we used to… and even less with COVID.
Its okay to not understand what you are talking about. There are plenty of resources out there to help you understand the topic, if you want.
Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Non binary are non binary.
And JK Rowling doesn’t belong in this discussion. I’d very much prefer you didn’t compare what I’ve said to what she has said because we’ve just had a very long thread on the topic and my opposition to her positions were made crystal clear.
…He literally says he is trans and uses he/him pronouns as well as they/them, and changed his name to Elliott. What about that makes you think he does not identify as a transman. Why use the word “trans” at all if he is not?
Because trans has and continues to include people who are nonbinary. The fact that he didn’t say trans man is suggestive, and, as I said in my first post, the fact someone chooses he/they often means they are not sure they are male, just that they are sure they aren’t female.
Trans is not binary because gender isn’t binary. It just means you don’t identify with the gender you were assigned at birth.
This is sounding like my uncle’s reaction to that neighbor coming out: “Does this mean that <cisfemale neighbor> is a lesbian now?”
I haven’t asked her whether she now considers herself lesbian, because really, that’s a very personal question. But I figure, whatever they consider themselves and each other, it’s something that they’re apparently mutually satisfied with. Why should it be an issue?
Trans is an umbrella term. It is a descriptor for a “gender identity or gender expression that differs from the sex that they were assigned at birth.” Why use the word trans? Because its the correct word for Elliot to use. Elliot may identify as a transman. But they haven’t told us that so its presumptuous to assume, especially when they didn’t explicitly identify as such in their coming out statement.
Not sure who to reply to, so I’ll just state it separately:
The reason it’s silly to speculate about Page’s partner leaving him is that, if she were going to break up with him, she would have likely already done so. There is very, very little chance she doesn’t already know.
It does happen. I’ve known of some breakups that happened due to someone being trans. But it tends to happen way before the trans person would come out to the general public.
Plus it’s also just fairly common for partners to stick around because (a) they love the person (b) sexuality exists on a continuum and one is rarely 100% straight or 100% gay, and (c) often the trans person was already somewhat acting like they didn’t identify with their gender assigned at birth.
I have to say, I know of more people who came out and stuck with their current partner than people who didn’t.
All this leaves me questioning, because why make an announcement that leads to presumptive questions about the announcement. Really it’s all good whichever way you want to bend.
Because most of the questions are really none of our business. At most, they’re curiosities it might be nice to know, but not anything anyone would be obligated to tell us.
But coming out as trans is pretty much necessary if you were in the public eye as your pre-transition gender and wish to remain in the public eye.[quote=“chela, post:38, topic:926940, full:true”]
All this leaves me questioning, because why make an announcement that leads to presumptive questions about the announcement. Really it’s all good whichever way you want to bend.
[/quote]
I thought we had moved beyond the belief that being gay or straight is binary.
Clearly Elliot and his wife are attracted to one another. How Elliot identifies may not change that physical attraction. And the kind of intimacy they may engage in might not change either. Of course if Elliot decides to transition surgically, it might change in details, but that’s not necessarily the most important part about a relationship. Sexuality is a lot more complex than you are making it out to be.