This week, at work, was shit. It was partially shit because my coworker was out in an already understaffed office, partially shit because we had an internal quality review, and partially shit because it’s my closest coworker’s last week. It was, however, mostly shit because of one particularly large piece of shit narcissistic unreasonable waste of my fucking time client.
Hopefully by now at least some of you have gleaned that it takes a lot for me to dislike someone. That someone we’ll call Ima Shithead.
On Wednesday of this week, my coworker left at 2pm for an extracurricular thing she had planned in advance. I work in debt counseling, we’ve been absolutely slammed by the economy and are so completely understaffed I can’t even begin to describe it. This is already a stressful job. Believe it. Anyway, I was the only account maintenance person in-house, with three counselors taking appointments. I was supposed to finish the bank deposit and leave work by 4:45pm, when I usually go to catch my train. (We close at 5pm on Fridays.) Oh, it’s also important to note that I work in One Penn Plaza, a huge hi-rise office building in Midtown Manhattan. We’ve got very tight security.
Ima Shithead calls at 3:30, completely furious that security wouldn’t let him in without authorization from us. I added him to the permanent security list immediately, but it didn’t stop him from bitching at me for a half hour over the phone from the downstairs lobby. Among his demands were that we reverse his monthly fees, file a complaint to security and also arrange to have the Head of Security apologize to him. He wanted this done within the next twenty minutes. I told him I do not currently have the resources to make all of this happen within the next 20 minutes, but would be more than happy to speak with him face to face.
Ima Shithead finally makes it upstairs about 30 minutes later. Ima’s main problem is that he missed a deposit to us in March. For any other client this would take 5 minutes to deal with. When clients have extensive concerns with their account, they are encouraged to schedule an appointment with their financial counselor. It is made clear to them that counselors are available by appointment only.
Ima is special, and wants to see someone now. He doesn’t care that my coworker Beloved left with a medical emergency, or that my other coworker Hero Boy is currently seeing another client. Ima wants me to document all of his complaints while he stands over me. Ima wants to speak to corporate. He is convinced that the upper-level employees of our nonprofit organization are making millions of dollars off of unfortunate souls like him. He thinks I am very nice and competent, don’t get him wrong, but I’m not a financial counselor and he feels he should not have to schedule an appointment to see one, but instead should be seen immediately.
Over the next TWO HOURS, I deal with Ima. At 4:45ish two more clients arrive, and Ira begins obnoxiously interrogating them about how much they pay for our services. He then tells the prospective client that he wouldn’t recommend our services because corporate is greedy and evil (he doesn’t actually have any facts to support these allegations, but that’s not stopping him.) At this point Hero Boy comes out and courteously but firmly tells him to GTF out, it’s closing time and he should schedule an appointment if he has anything further. He points out that I have missed my train and the bank deposit. Ima Shithead refuses to leave. He wastes a lot more time trying to get through to corporate and our Quality Department when it’s clearly past our posted hours of availability. Hero Boy has to take his 5pm, once again leaving me alone.
He does not leave for another hour and a half, after dictating that I document a letter detailing his many grievances, among which are ‘‘emotional distress’’ caused by not getting through security right away. We go over his account in excruciating detail and he clearly understands nothing I am trying to tell him. If something doesn’t make sense to him, he immediately concludes that we are trying to trick him. Since Hero Boy reported that Ira interrupted one of his appointments screaming and cursing about a year ago (causing him to be transferred to another center… did I mention he’s not even our center’s client?), I viewed my duty in this matter to avoid escalation of the situation. Also, god help me, I felt a little bad for him. Tough financial times and all that. As a result, he made me include in the letter that people like me give him faith in our organization.
Ima Shithead leaves at 6:15pm, a full hour and a half after I had planned to leave work. I don’t leave until another hour after that, go home exhausted and frustrated, and come in the next day to find my coworker called in sick and I’m once again on my own in the office.
I spent the remainder of the day documenting the events from the day before, carrying out my promises to the client (to clean up his complaint letter and email it to my Group Managers for resolution within 24-48 hours.) I also write a not happy letter to my bosses, detailing every inappropriate incident and telling them that I was really uncomfortable to have been forced into a situation where I had no backup or authority. The client, though wholly inappropriate, had essentially legitimate complaints about the office being understaffed and being unable to get easily through to our center or people of importance. We’ve all felt the strain, but our cries of distress have largely gone ignored. I also told them I genuinely question the wisdom of keeping him on our program. I stood up for myself, and since I’m usually very passive I’m damn proud of that.
Anyway, Thursday was a completely wasted day because of all the documentation I had to do on this guy. I woke up pissed off and went to bed pissed off. Selfish fucking dick fucking cocksucker asshole.
Friday Shiny Dancer is back. I’m in a much better mood, and I make it clear in no uncertain terms that I’m leaving at 2:15pm today because I worked OT on Wednesday night dealing with Mr. Shithead. Everybody is cool with this, because everyone agrees this guy is an ass and feels very sorry for me.
1:15pm today rolls around… and guess who’s back? It’s Ima Shithead! Since I was in the back, he didn’t know I was there, and Shiny Dancer is much more assertive than me so she told me she would handle him. I listen to him loudly and obnoxiously harangue some more clients and argue with Shiny Dancer with arguments based on lies. He completely misrepresents what I told him the day before, even though I’ve got it well documented (believe me… WELL documented.)
Our Team Leader, All Business is on top of things today. He has no problem telling the guy what for (in a very professional way, mind you.) I’m still hiding in the back, quite distressed by being near the guy. It sounds irrational, but something about him is… off.
My golden hour has arrived. It’s 2:15pm. I’m terrified to leave and have him see me. But I’ll be goddamned if I let this fucker waste another second of my time.
At this point Beloved whispers, ‘‘Now’s your chance. All Business and Kerri are both addressing his concerns. Get your stuff and go!’’
I grab my coat and breeze toward the door. I make the fatal error – eye contact.
‘‘Oh, YOU!’’ he says. ‘‘I’m glad you’re here. You need to explain some things to me.’’
‘‘I have submitted your complaint to the Group Managers and it has been forwarded to the Quality Department and is currently under review. You should receive a response within 24-48 hours,’’ I say. But he doesn’t hear me, because he’s yelling over me.
‘‘Sorry, I have to go home,’’ I say.
‘‘You’re staying here,’’ he says.
‘‘I’m going home now,’’ I say. I had to excuse myself past him to get through the door.
‘‘No, you’re not,’’ he says.
He blocks the door. I am 5’2’’. He is at least 6 feet tall.
I manage to get the door open and he pushes toward me, ‘‘You’re not leaving,’’ he says, ‘‘You made an agreement with me blah blah blah.’’
‘‘Yes,’’ says, All Business, ‘‘She is. Don’t you follow her out the door.’’
‘‘Oh, I definitely will! She’s NOT leaving.’’ He proceeds to chase me out the door and start down the hall after me.
‘‘If you don’t leave her alone RIGHT NOW, I’m calling security and you are going to be removed from this building.’’
That’s the last thing I heard, because then I was in the elevator, ready to curl into a fetal position. I am surprised how upset I am. Then I remember I have PTSD. It’s a bitch at times like these. I am shaking like a fucking leaf.
I immediately call my boss and leave a voice mail on his machine informing him of the escalating situation. ‘‘I am not going to work in an office where he is a client,’’ I say. ‘‘It might be a little irrational, but I don’t feel safe.’’
Then I went home. I’ve since been in email contact with my team, and learned he stayed for another hour and a half, talking to my boss on the telephone. My boss has an appointment scheduled with him and is going to lay the smack down. If he ever shows up without 24 hours notice he is going to be terminated from the program. I noticed my boss left the possibility of him coming to our branch office as long as he gives 24 hours notice, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting to not being okay with that.
Anyways (ahem)
Fuck you, you fucking cocksucker narcissistic control-freak asshole. You have no fucking right to tell me when I can and cannot leave my fucking job. You don’t deserve our help, you ridiculous pompous disrespectful worthless ass.
That feels better. Have a good weekend folks.