So how does one become Mr. Unshithead ?
What the fuck, man? Why didn’t anyone call the police on him long ago? There is no way he should be able to keep you, alone, in the office, with just him. Did I read that right? You were alone in the office with him? You were *alone *in the goddamn office with him?
I am a brave, tough, confident girl and I think I would have been shaking with terror. I don’t have PTSD and I would have wanted to hide. There are recourses to deal with people like this.
I am downright horrified by your company’s casual response to this sort of shit. This is exactly how the situation gets out of hand. THIS IS WHY WE HAVE COPS, PEOPLE.
You did nothing wrong except perhaps not call the cops on this loopy motherfucker. And you are not wrong in wanting to avoid him. If he had raised a hand to you…
:seethes in rage:
Damn, olives, I would have been crying in that elevator if I had been in your situation. It’s bad enough not letting you leave the first time, but to chase you down the hall on top of that? That should be grounds for banning him from the place. What a bastard. I’ve had to deal with people like him who try to intimidate me based on the fact they are male and are a foot or more taller than me (I’m 4’10" and chubby, not very imposing). It’s no fun having to deal with this kind of situation. :mad:
Olives, I feel so horrible for you! I’d have been under a desk in a fetal position, puking my guts out. I hope Ima Shithead gets booted out of the program and that your supervisors do something about him.
She was alone as in her co-worker was in another office with a client.
What I can’t follow is why HeroBoy after telling this client to get, went home and left you there. He- at the very least- should have remained with you.
No, that’s not what happened. I wasn’t completely alone on Wednesday. Our office has a lobby area and there are three rooms in which counselors conduct assessments. Hero Boy came out about 15 minutes into the ruckus to try to give Ima the information he wanted and get rid of him. Then he went back in his office, not really realizing how out of hand things were going to get. Hero Boy came out when he was finished with his 4pm appointment, saw that he was still raising hell, told Ima to leave immediately, but then had to take his 5pm. There was another client present at that time. (She was giving me major pity looks too.)
Once Hero Boy took his 5pm client, I was ‘‘alone’’ in the sense that nobody was in the lobby with us, but there were two counselors still in the office, in their rooms with the doors closed. If anyone let me down that day, it was All Business, since he was doing public relations stuff in his office and not actually with a client. I don’t think he grasped the extent of what was going on, because his response when I later told him, was, ‘‘I would have called security.’’ The three of us then discussed the merits of removing him from the security list (this was before things even escalated on Friday.)
On Friday, I definitely wasn’t alone. There were at least two of my coworkers behind the front desk dealing with him, including our Team Leader, All Business. All I was trying to do was walk through the lobby and out the front door. It’s a narrow waiting area, maybe 4-6 feet wide. This is when he tried to stop me from leaving… he was standing in front of me to block the door, but I was able to duck past him and open the door, at which point he proceeded to follow me down the hall waving his papers in my face, insisting that I wasn’t going anywhere or he was going to follow me. I wasn’t paying a huge amount of attention to who was around, but bare minimum it was All Business and Shiny Dancer. As I said, All Business immediately threatened to call security and/or police, and Shithead backed off before he got even 4-5 feet out the door. By that time I was practically running to the elevator. It’s more accurate to say that he began to chase me down, not that he actually did. In addition to being an asshat, he’s also apparently a coward, because the threat of security was enough to make him back off of me.
As soon as I left, Shiny Dancer got our Group Manager (who was in another office, he switches offices from day to day) on the phone. While GM was (unbeknownst to me) on the phone with Mr. Shithead I left a rather short, shaky message on his cell phone VM. When I got home from work, I e-mailed my center to make sure everything was okay. I got a response from the GM which I believe he sent before he heard my VM, since his email said, ‘‘I just got off the phone…’’
In it my GM said the following:
The last part I bolded is what makes me a little :dubious:. But as I said, I don’t think he has the whole story. He’s definitely going to get it on Monday.
My husband is a pretty calm guy, but yeah, he was pissed off. The thing that pissed him off the most is that I had any doubt my bosses would ban him from our office. He says there should be no question.
And he’s right. This is wildly inappropriate behavior, verging on criminal. There is no way you should ever have to feel physically threatened in your own workplace.
You need to mobilize your Inner Bitch. From your posts here I know what a sweetheart you are, but every woman needs an Inner Bitch to fall back on when a situation escalates to a threatening degree. When you start to feel overwhelmed, let your Inner Bitch take over until you feel safe again.
Your Inner Bitch’s mantra needs to be: Fuck you and back off, asshole, you’re not allowed to push ME around! You don’t need to say those particular words out loud; they just need to be resounding in the spine that stiffens in the face of belligerence.
(((((olives)))))
And all this time you were thinking it was just an urban legend. 
Just more hugs and assurances that you are not over-reacting.
Just last month we had some Whacko mad about water rights who came in and threatened one of our staff and waited outside to follow her to her car and yell at her some more after work. Our office manager immediately: told everyone in the office there was a threat made; told the other agencies in our building about Whacko; began getting a restraining order to make sure Whacko could not come near our builidng; hired a security guard to patrol the parking lots and hang out in our lobby; posted Whacko’s picture everywhere in the office so we would know to watch out and report him if we saw him; and generally handled the situation in a very pro-active manner. Then we had an anti-climatic ending where Whacko called our office and apologized to the employee and her boss for all the trouble.
This response on the business manager’s part was not an over-reaction given that people have comed to our building armed to show their…displeasure…with state agencies, employees, and elected officials. All in all, I prefer when the grumps picket.
Make sure you let the GM know how strongly you feel about this situation and that you are not comfortable with him coming into your center. You certainly shouldn’t have to put up with people who have threatened you. And they should just terminate the guys deal with you now rather than let him bully another staffer.
I think Skald the Rhymer nailed it. I’m about your height and I like to think I’m pretty tough, but I’d have been shaking in my boots, too. You’ve already done the right things, including documenting the earlier incident before this one happened, and, from what I’ve seen of you, you’re sensible enough to keep on doing them. There’s nothing wrong with being frightened or even terrified. What happened to you was frightening. If you weren’t afraid, you’d be a fool, and that, my friend, you’re not. So, be glad it’s Saturday, and be good to yourself today. Enjoy yourself, and don’t let the fear win.
Think about this guy for a moment. You wrote :
It sounds like he’s a lot worse off than you are if he’s using your company’s services and has already been transferred out of one center for cruel behaviour. He’s in over his head, doesn’t understand what’s going on, and doesn’t know how to fix it. Yelling, acting threatening, and being an obnoxious jerk in general may have worked for him before, but now they’re only getting himself in trouble, and he may not know what else to try. Some men have a lot invested in their ability to support themselves and their families and in their ability to handle money. For a man like that, losing his job or getting into serious financial trouble could be devastating. If this guy is that sort of fellow, you have something he wants, a stable, secure, respectable job. It may seem horribly unfair to him that he has to come begging to you for help. If you look at it this way, he’s rather pathetic, not threatening. All the yelling, threatening, and general obnoxiousness won’t solve his problems, no matter how much he wants them to. At the rate he’s going, they could make them worse.
I think it’s perfectly reasonable of you not to want to work with this guy again, especially since he’s effectively prevented you from leaving and making your company’s deposit once and tried to do so a second time. I also think you handled the situation quite well under the circumstances. Here’s a hug. {{{olivesmarch4th}}} You’ve got my congratulations, too. You see, regardless of how it felt at the time, I think you handled the situation well. Well done!
One has an epiphany about the depths of shitheadness one has descended to and then goes to a lot of therapy.
In my opinion, the police should have been called when he refused to leave. I wouldn’t work with him again, but I would continue to work there if someone else wants to deal with him. In my opinion, he should be dropped from the program for his behavior.
Your management is a buncha pussies.
The Dude sounds dangerous. I’m 6’ 0" and I’d be scared of him. I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure what he did constitutes some sort of assault. The police should be involved, and he should be barred from the building and dropped as a client by your company.
Olives. This situation isn’t acceptable. Physical threats, including using his body to attempt to stop you from leaving, are never acceptable. You have every right to refuse to ever deal with him again.
If he is actively bad mouthing your services to other clients, I’m surprised that the GM would allow him to come back. that, of course, if a lesser offence than threatening staff, but maybe one which can be used as an excuse to get rid of him.
Hope things go well on Monday.
He sounds like the kind of guy who might come back with a gun. Get the cops involved.
I can’t begin to tell you how angry I am at this guy’s behavior. I don’t have anything else constructive to add, but just count me as another person who agrees that his behavior is unacceptable. IMO the appropriate decision right now, regardless of what happens tomorrow, is to send him and his problems packing.
I’ll echo Skald, TokyoPlayer, and groo.
And {{{Olives}}}
As I recall, you have a CCW permit. Might be time to make use of it. Check with your boss about carrying in the office, though.
And can I recommend some significant ice cream therapy? 
Oh, I think I like your advice the best!
I did get a little stressed out earlier today realizing the sort of physical threat that might exist in this situation. He’s exactly the sort of type who could snap at any moment. Freaks me out just thinking about it. I’m not going to back down on this.