[QUOTE=Only Mostly Dead]
Assuming you’re talking the diamond’s Four C’s, it’s (mostly) not hooey.
- Cut. For some women, it’s a huge deal that they get a round cut, or a princess. Or maybe she’d throttle you to death if you tried giving her a baguette or a heart. Having her hate the ring you gave is not hooey. Not to mention (far more importantly) that a ring cut too shallow will look like a mirror because it just reflects all the light, and a diamond cut too deep will look like a dull rock, because all the light falls through it, with no fire or brilliance. A reference.
- Clarity. Just for kicks, have a jeweler show you a VS1 (a good, mid-rated clarity) and an I1 (pretty poor) diamond in the same cut, same color, same carat. If you have a sharp eye, you’ll see the imperfections in the I1, the flecks of carbon that did not become diamond, with no magnification. If you use a loupe, it’s repulsive. The VS1 will be hard to see imperfections with the naked eye, but easy enough with the loupe. Something like an IF will be expensive, but quite clear, even with the loupe. A diamond with a poor clarity does cut down on the diamond’s fire, as there are obstructions to the light within the diamond. You don’t want a diamond looking dull, or it’s just a little chip of rock.
- Color. Now we start getting into the hooey. Anything between D and J is pretty indistinguishable if you don’t have a reference stone to see its color. Beyond J, you’ll probably notice the yellow, which makes the stone look dingy, and as such, not as brilliant (see a theme here? It’s all about making a lump of rock seem like it’s on fire from the inside.). I think I may have even bought an L or M, without much trouble to its color, for El Perro Fumando’s engagement ring. This is one you can cut corners on a bit.
- Carat. Here’s the hooey, and where stores can really make a killing under the pitch that bigger is better. This is where you should really go by the size of her fingers. If she has dainty little hands, a half carat will look quite nicely proportioned. If she has large hands, then a one or even a two carat may be what looks best. Personally, I think that too many guys get suckered in to buying, and most women look absurd and ostentatious, wearing a diamond too large for her hand.
[/QUOTE]
This is excellent advice (and the parts I didn’t quote too). I just went through this over the last month. I HIGHLY recommend getting her involved in picking out the ring, because no matter how much you like it, it won’t matter if there’s something she doesn’t like.
What I did, to make it a “surprise” was I made an event out of it (her birthday was in February, so it disguised it as a big deal birthday), giving her a series of gifts with clues over several days and finally proposed to her without a ring. Over the next month we researched and settled on a custom jeweler and designed the ring from the ground up. After we designed it, she wasn’t allowed to see it, until I did the whole traditional romantic proposal with ring at our engagement party. I thought it gave the best of both options.
To add to what was said above: I can’t emphasize enough how important cut is. Most diamond cutters will adjust the cut a little bit to maximize the carat, because they sell by weight. We compared an excellent cut to an ideal cut (maxium rating), even though the color and clarity were lower on the ideal cut diamond, it was definately more beautiful. Obviously clarity is next, but depending on the size of the diamond, you can sometimes get away with a bit lower clarity on smaller diamonds than on larger ones. Similarly, color isn’t a big deal until it gets really low or the diamond gets larger or it’s next to a higher color diamond. Finally, carat only matters based on how big her finger is and how much you want to spend.
My fiancee had gone in thinking the “tradition” was a 1 carat diamond , and looking more at color and clarity. When we stuck a 1 carat diamond on her hand, it was gaudy, and oversized (she’s a little on the petite side). The central diamond we ended up selecting had an ideal cut, and ended up being .76 carats (if I remember correctly), VS1, G/H (don’t remember the color) and was FAR more beautiful than even many of the excellent cuts that had VVS1 and E color; plus, it was about half the price.
Another thing, I noticed you liked the three stone setting; we did too. However, all the rings in the stores had the side stones about half the weight of the center stone, and we thought they looked bad. We ended up with two ideal cuts with slightly lower clarity (looked identical to the eye), that were about a third the size and found it was much more pleasing aesthetically. In fact, the custom jeweler we selected was the one who initially made the suggestion that we picked smaller side stones.
The setting is also important to consider; if she likes the silver look, I’d suggest staying away from white gold because it yellows over time because it’s plated. Platinum is the “optimal” choice, but it is VERY expensive right now. A good compromise we chose was palladium; which is about the same cost as white gold, but most of the properties of platinum (actually a little more durable to scratches, IIRC). If you go that way, the jeweler still recommended platinum prongs for reasons a chemist would better explain (IIRC, it was something like the atomic bond is strong within platinum than in palladium, which means the prongs won’t “wear down” as quickly".
Anyway, to sum up, I HIGHLY recommend going to a custom jeweler and designing the ring together. It was an enjoyable experience, we got exactly what we wanted (better than we expected, in fact) at about HALF the price of what we would have spent at a jewelry store (which still wouldn’t have been as beautiful), and the whole time my fiancee was grinning ear-to-ear like a kid in a candy shop. IIRC, I believe we picked the jeweler from a list of ICGS certified jewelers.