I’m not attracted to fat(not just chubby but FAT) women either, and I probably never will be. Some men like it though, and that’s fine by me.
To a lot of people, being overweight means being lazy. There are a lot of reasons for being overweight, many of which a person cannot control. We have been told over and over that diet and excersize can remove pounds. For the most part, that is very very true. However, when we think that someone who is overweight is like that because they have not tried diet and excersize, we tend to think of them as being lazy and unmotivated, instead of knowing the real reason or having compassion.
It’s late and my word skills are terrible, but hopefully someone will see what I am getting at.
Here’s a thought, Blalron and Rexdart:
Why bother indicating a bodytype in your post? Why bother saying “I don’t want no fat chick”? You aren’t here because this is a dating service and you’re trying to weed out those to whom you won’t be attracted (and that statement probably isn’t going to endear you to much of anyone skinny or fat). Why even go there? Do you see lonely girls saying “Man, I couldn’t even get a geek*, I’m so lonely!”?
*Geeks are perceived, by the same crowd that tends to express distaste for fat people, as equally undesirable. Thus the reference, though you wouldn’t catch me lamenting that a cute geeky guy was flirting with me;)
I don’t understand why people are so mean about things.
It’s possible to not be attracted to a subset of the population without slaging them off. For heaven’s sake, if you don’t like larger women, don’t date them, but the nasty, ignorant comments really don’t give a positive, likeable impression that smaller type women are going to dig either - yaknowwhatImean?
No, sorry, I am not really sure what your point is, exactly. I mean, yeah, I understand that you are explaining that some people are jerks who assume certain things about people they truly know nothing about, and then go on to figure that they are entitled to be impolite shitheads because of these assumptions. But this information about what they are assuming isn’t really any sort of an excuse, is it? I should hope not!
There is NO EXCUSE to be disdainful or mean to someone because of the assumption that they might be lazy. Hell, even if they are lazy, that’s still no excuse. Their laziness (or lack thereof) is NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINESS. Treating them like crap or figuring that any insulting words directed at them are somehow, (even a little bit) “warranted” is shitty. There’s no reason for it. It hurts NO ONE and it requires no effort to just leave 'em alone.
[hijack]Those lonely girls wouldn’t know what they’re missing, punha![/hijack]
I loves me some geeks.
Well, ya know what? Most Americans, of both sexes, are overweight. So, uh, if you confine your sexual interest to thin people, you are seriously limiting your chances of getting laid. I think a lot of the taste for thin people is strictly a media thing. There have been times when having a lot of meat on your bones was considered to be hot – just look at Renoir’s babes and quite a few others like them. The women who were featured in classical painting were the women who defined hotness for their era, just as the women who are featured in movies define hotness today – strictly in cultural terms. Rexdart would do well to think about that a bit and see how much of that attraction to thinness is innate, and how much is conditioned. You can dump conditioned attitudes.
That’s not Rexdart’s problem anyway. His problem is that he is going about things all wrong. What he needs to do is find women he likes. Hang around them and enjoy their company without coming on to them right away. Don’t sweat what they look like too much. Then ask himself if he wants to have sex with any of them. If the answer is “Yes” ask her out on a date. If he like her and she likes him, it’ll be easy, not like going up to some stranger. Then see how things work out. If they don’t find another woman he likes and ask her out. Sooner or later, sparks will fly.
No. Which part was ignorant?
Most dopers jumped at Rexdart because in his mind fat=looser. That’s funny because according to his thread he considers himself to be a looser [aristotles hat on] therefore he is fat and he expects dating supermodels [/ aristotles hat on]
Funny in a very diusturbing way
Hmm. Fat does not necessarily equal loser, but speaking as a man who would never be caught dead with a fat chick (or ugly chick), let me just say that some primitive urges are revealed in the language and behavior we men use.
To many men (’ course we can’t say all), winding up with a fat chick is like losing.
Sure, their are men who like fat chicks, and the definition of what is fat varies, but for the most part, the popular media image of a hot chick is reliable and everywhere. That’s what men want.
Maxim chicks, playboy chicks, Sports Illustrated Chicks, cheerleaders, supermodels, etc, etc.
Some men pray just for an average looking chick, even few pounds overweight, because their looks or personality can’t guarantee them anything better.
But, in the realm sexual urges of men, fat = losing.
It’s not PC to say it, but screw PC. “Loser fat chick”?
Just like “loser insensitive jerk”. So what, maybe the fat chick thinks she can’t do anything about it, but maybe the jerks were born that way too.
Let’s just drop ‘loser’ from our vocabulary and be done with it.
Everyone is a winner! Yay!
So now we’re reading minds?
Argh. Give me a bloody break. Some of us “size 2” boys are breastfeeding mothers who manage to choke down a whole meal without throwing up every now and then. Everybody looks different and you don’t have to be sexually attracted to all body types or anything, but this is uncalled for.
We’re being reasonable.
Check your local newstands.
That was supposed to be directed at Estilicon, Philster.
This tells me all I need to know about the Philster. What a creep. What a waste of air. What a maroon.
Why is saying this publicly acceptable behavior?
Back to my original analogy, I would never say ‘I wouldn’t be caught dead with a bald guy’. That would be a mean, hateful thing to say. (Of course I like bald guys, but that has nothing to do with the point I’m arguing here.)
Because people say this, and much like it, publicly all the time.
Which is just what seems to be in contention. Why is saying you don’t like baldness a hateful thing to say? I’ve got a good 40 pounds on me I should lose. That I might disappoint some people physically in that capacity isn’t shocking to me, and it doesn’t hurt me for them to say. I suppose I just want to know why it should.
Being fat or bald does not make one a lesser human being. Does not make one have no feelings to be hurt. And yet it seems to me that some of you almost relish the idea of saying how repulsive you find fatness. Like those wonderful “no fat chicks” bumper stickers. (Or, the really wonderful one—“Save a whale, harpoon a fat chick”.) Yeah, those are real kind. They’re all heart. :rolleyes:
Don’t be attracted to whoever—that’s not a problem. No “thought police” are going to dictate who you should be attracted to. But to act as if a fat person or a bald person has no feelings, and won’t mind (or maybe feel that they deserve) to be considered “loser” (or rather, that “ending up” with them is “loser”) is really shitty.
It’s not saying “I don’t like baldness” that is hateful. (Though I do question why it would have to be said in front of a bald guy. Like he doesn’t know he’s bald? Like he doesn’t know that some people don’t find it attractive? Why remind him?) I think many one you enjoy reminding the fat and the bald that they are (get this) fat and bald. Because maybe you assume they were unaware? What?
It’s more the statement of, “Oh my GOSH. Look at that guy. He’s bald. I’d never be caught dead with a bald guy. That would be like losing.” That’s hateful, and unnecessary.
You know the difference between these two statements. I can’t believe that you didn’t know all along.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last year and a half, it’s that people choose to be alone, whether they realize it or not.
I’m a 400-pound gay man. Some of you might remember my Pit thread excoriating the shallow gay men who only want twink boys about a year ago.
I’ve changed my mind. Literally, if not physically. I’ve been working on my personality and social manner for the last 18 months and it’s finally starting to pay off.
I was alone and invisible because I was acting like I deserved to be alone and invisible. I was wasting my social opportunities by sitting in the corner, being overly polite, never initiating conversations, keeping out of peoples’ way, refusing to “inflict” myself on other gay men. And, not surprisingly, I was ignored on a regular basis.
When I started to talk to more people, to act as if I had as much right to be in that bar as anyone else, to flirt a little, to dance :eek:, to make jokes and have actual conversations, to be interested in other peoples’ lives, I started to become less ignored, less invisible.
I still weigh 400 lbs. But I no longer have the generalized global resentment that I used to. Because there’s no need for it. While there is real discrimination based on weight, I’m now unconvinced that the universal shunning actually exists. I think we imprison ourselves in a mental box.
Real sexiness is in the social interaction.
Should I pretend to be attracted to fat and/or ugly women?
Fat women make good friends, and have other redeeming qualities, but I’m not attracted to them.
Rexdart admitted that he is overweight himself, so it’s a hypocritical judgment. However, I have this to say to the “fat” folks:
Fucking stop eating so much!! Put your ass on a treadmill!! Get off the computer for a half hour and walk around the block!!!
I wouldn’t be thin if I didn’t do these things. You can take the matter into your own hands and do something about it. You’d be doing yourself a favor, it will make you healthier, it will make you feel better—and baby, it will make you look younger and more attractive.
That is all.