I do not know your sex life, so I cannot guess how to answer that.
However, I will address this question globally. The promiscuity of the general public is responsible for the widespread STDs, the biggest focus of which is now HIV. From a logical standpoint, people who engage in promiscuous activity are contributing to the problem because if they get a disease, they pass it on to another, and so the chain continues. Under the standards I’ve outlined, HIV would become extinct within one generation. So the irresponsibility of people causes the spread of disease, and eventually the death (or lifelong discomfort) of many others. Sometimes innocent lives are affected as well, like blood transfusions (Ryan White) and other extreme rarities of that nature. So that lack of responsibility is the cause of this disease and others being widespread and results in the deaths of many people. You may use every precaution known to man, but only one thing is guaranteed, so you can only reduce it to x%. What are my chances of spreading HIV or other STDs…? Zero. So why shouldn’t I have a right to make a plea that people stop this kind of behavior? It’s a free country, do as you must, but for crying out loud, can’t I recommend that people be responsible?
Dale, are your legs cramping from all that backpedaling? First you agreed that there shouldn’t be porn threads. Then we went to the idea that anyone having sex outside marriage was a “fuck-happy primate”. Now you’re telling us that this is all out of concern for our health, and that the real problem is the spread of disease?
If you are indeed worried about disease, then porn threads should be aces in your book. Virtual sex is the safest kind of all - the world is safe if I type kinky stuff from my cold, lonely office, right?
I also take exception with your statement that you’re not trying to force your morals on anyone, when you suggested in an earlier post that anyone who has sex on the first date should be committed. Don’t claim you’re not being judgmental, with so much evidence to the contrary.
Dale, you’re perfectly willing to tell all of us animals what we should and shouldn’t do, so let’s get specific. I wanna know. What exactly can you do while dating and what’s forbidden until the Big Day?
Speaking with your future bride - I’m guessing that’s okay.
Seeing your partner’s face? Bare wrist? Nekkid ankle?
Holding hands - only in the company of a chaperone, of course.
Hugging? Ooh, she smells nice. This is gettin’ exciting.
A chaste kiss on the cheek? Maybe she moves her head at the last minute and you hit her lips instead. Would that be okay?
Necking? That’s sloppy, open-mouthed kissing, Dale, in case you were a little unclear on the term. You might have seen the other kids doing it at the mall.
Can you feel each other up on the couch? (lights off, of course)
Dry humping (clothes-on simulated sex)? I don’t know about you Dale, but I’m starting to get a little excited.
Is petting okay (y’know, touching each other “down there”)?
Oral sex? It’s not sex according to some prominent members of our society, right?
And holy crap Dale, how in Cecil’s name can you handle the pressure? You’re a tougher man that I, that’s for sure. I gotta think that no matter how much in love you and Mrs TheBold are, the performance anxiety on your wedding night is going to be intense. I’m guessing that the Mrs will be as inexperienced as you, and will likely be looking for you to take charge of the situation. Sex is natural and everything, but when it’s time for Little Dale to perform, how will you know what to do?
Seriously, Dale, you are way too stressed out about all this. It’s simple, really. Sex does not equal love. Yes, sex in a loving relationship is the best sex of all, but you do not have to be in love with someone to have sex with them. Are you in love with your hand?
Evidence to the contrary? Your prejudice is showing. You’ve done the usual generalization about people who believe in sex within marriage. I really think you should knock it off.
I don’t recall saying that there shouldn’t be porn threads. I think it’s healthy for people to openly talk about sex, but they shouldn’t obsess about it either, as is often the case with porn. People can discuss what positions work for them, what attractions tehy have, etc, and it’s not only acceptable, but encouraged. It is unhealthy, however, to be so cavalier about sex to the point where it is no longer taken seriously. What I’m talking about is when a husband is so obsessed with porn he neglects his wife, for example. That’s sickening. I’m getting tired of having to explain every detail about everything I post when people keep slapping me with blanket assumptions.
Yes, the core problem is spread of disease. Without that, what validity would there be to my statements? I’ve said this all along, but your prejudices put different words in my mouth. Okay, so I didn’t specify why, but you fell right into that knee-jerk reaction as if I were Jerry Falwell. (bleargh!)
I stand by my comment that people who have sex on the first date should be committed. I did a nice flyby with my play on words there, but it should have been obvious since I was already referring to the context of commitment. People who have sex on the first date have not had time to build a relationship, or establish a commitment so they should be committed first (In other words, they should wait until they reach a genuine point of commitment). This clearly didn’t mean they should be taken to a mental institution (though there are those too). It was meant as a pun for those who read with understanding. It seems to have worked.
Dale though you may think that saying we are doing immoral things isn’t judgement, it is. I can’t see how it would be construed any other way.
And I’ll note again, while I will not have sex without being in love (this is, though you might not believe it, something very important to me, too), I’m not gonna think someone else is disgusting for having done so.