Officially putting myself forward to sponsor the next person who replies here (or in a PM, no worries).
I have no financial difficulties and I have a credit card, but it’s been 72 hours so if nobody else is going to claim it, I’ll throw my hat into the ring. I won’t make a donation to a charity just because someone bought me an account, but I give regularly to charities (mostly Christian non-profits, but ~40% secular if you exclude tithing and include microloaning) anyway.
I will take absolutely zero offense if you decline me. 
Sent to me in email:
Hi TubaDiva,
I was reading the “Enter Your “Sponsor My Membership” Requests Here” thread in ATMB, and would like to request assistance paying for my membership. I signed up as a guest over a month ago as masterofnone. Since my guest membership has expired, I cannot post my request. Could you post it for me?
I’ve lurked for a few years, and I love the place, but I’m not currently in a financial position to pay for my membership. I would greatly appreciate it if someone could help me out, and will pass on the favor when I’m more financially stable.
Thanks for your help,
masterofnone
Not at all! I’ll take care of that this evening! (Sorry it took me a couple days to respond!)
He’s covered.
Thank you Lok! I’ll be sure to pass on the favor when I’m able.
Confirmation: SDMB2007120616240307209501
Welcome!
My eternal thanks for this priceless gift. 
Email from former member “mamakat”
Hi. I was a member about 2 (?) years ago, and I just noticed this thread about asking for a sponser. Times are really really tight right now, and I don’t have the money to subscribe, but I really miss posting. My membership is way past expired, is there any way that you could let people know that I’d be really grateful for some help? Thanks so much! mamakat
Done: order number SDMB2007121301021704582901
Whaddaya know - insomnia sometimes serves a purpose. Happy holidays.
Thank you thank you thank you! Feels great to be back!
It’s Christmas I and I have $15 bucks burning a hole in my pocket.
Anybody else need a hand?
I was the recent beneficiary of this largesse, and would like to pass that on to someone in need, now that I’m back to health in the spare change category. Speak now!
Could somebody extend me for a year? I’m having some financial difficulties that probably won’t be cleared up in April.
Merry Xmas Annie, SDMB2007121307580300567701.
We get the pleasure of your company for another year.
Jim
Thanks, Jim. That is one fine present.
I’ll put myself forward to pay for the next person in need.
Gotta take advantage of the exchange rate while it lasts.
De Nada
/Channelling Ike Turner/
If you click onto the Straight Dope,
Betcha gonna find some people who live.
You don’t have to worry, girl you got no money.
WhatExit is a Doper who’s happy to give.
I don’t have a credit card, and won’t when April comes around. If someone buys me a membership, though, I’ll gladly send them a check.