hey, tracer, what’s your blood type? Do you wanna earn $25?
Only if I also get a cookie.
Season Four: Goodbye Mr. Chimp
Enterprise is hit by more anomalies and time-worms infest Mayweather. He de-evolves into a proto-ape and becomes Mr. Chimp. His memories, since they are stored in his DNA, move back in time as well and alter all of mankind. Mankind becomes a race that wants to take the latest serviceable weapons and upgrade them with newer weapons even if the new ones cannot be understood or maintained. I.e. no apparent change occurs to mankind.
Greater dexterity makes Mr. Chimp a better pilot and Enterprise avoids all further anomalies in the Expanse. He becomes a much bigger hit with the women onboard ship. Did I mention he has a prehensile tail? One night, finding Mr. Chimp, Hoshi, T’Pol, and Trip in a menage-a-quatre, Porthos bites Mr. Chimp out of jealousy because he used to get to sit on all the girls laps and lick them. Porthos then de-evolves into a bird.
Meanwhile, Phlox has been overjoyed to be able to play with Mr. Chimp’s DNA. He creates test serums to see what effect the DNA has on other species. Mr. Chimp is furious with Porthos and chases him but can’t catch him. His rampage knocks crew members against Phlox’s syringes and people being to de-evolve. Reed de-evolves into a lizard with a snear and pursues T’Pol trying to phaser her. T’Pol de-evolves into an insect. Hoshi de-evolves into a catfish, and Archer turns into a sloth.
In a rage Mr. Chimp careens the ship around a star hoping to pin the bird against a wall but forgets about grav-plates. The ship begins to slingshot back in time. Trip gets the ship under control but get spasms because he’s gone too long without neuro-pressure treatments. The de-evolved crew escape to the nearest planet and continue to pursue each other.
Trip tries to take the ship back to the future but his efforts are cut short when Phlox injects him with the de-evolving serum. He didn’t consent but Phlox just says that Trip agreed to an injection of something sometime before so his Denobulan Ethics are preserved. The ship, out of control slips out of the time-stream and careens into a planet.
The planet is the Xindi-homeworld populated by the de-evolved Porthos, Reed, T’Pol, Hoshi, and Archer. They scan the ship dive-bombing them and so begins their hatred of the humans who destroyed their world.
[Arnold in Twins]
I can’t wait to toss your cookies.
[/AiT]
You left out a comma.
(I’ll show you where later.)
Okay, uh, Trip falls into a coma and awakens to find it’s all a dream.
Oh, you mean comma. Sorry. My bad.
Yeah – Trip falls into a comma and awakens to find it’s all a dream!
Chimpanzees are Old World monkeys and as such do not have tails.
Another B&B screw up!
Um … chimpanzees aren’t monkeys at all. They’re great apes.
Everybody always forgets the lemurs. 
Well they sure as !@#$%^&* don’t have tails.
Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga,
Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga,
Oh, the monkeys have no tails,
They were bitten off by whales,
Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga.
[Spock]Captain, life is not a dream[/Spock]
[Kirk]Go to sleep, Spock[/Kirk]
Great? Well, maybe just okay.
Tars, what are you quoting? There is no such scene and the movie never existed. Reset!
NCB, your shipment is on its way. It contains both GOO and NOT-GOO. Don’t let them touch, or they will annihilate everything. Call Lazarus if you need help.
But, Lazarus is locked in an eternal struggle with a maniac (hi, Tars!), how can he help?
I’m rooting for the antimatter Lazarus, myself…
Okay, now that episode was an episode filmed on the quick with definite budget constraints.
So, it’s nothing new in the world of Trek.
See how I bring it all back full circle to the episode in the OP?
Too bad AES IS TEMPORARILY UNpostable.
I could go back and redo al the letters I typed while the Caps Lock key was engaged, but that would be a lot of typing.
We need Kn(*)ckers back, too.
Nice to see the Penguinus Rex back. And even the Buckner posted in a Trek thread again. Are the planets in some sort of allignment or something? Is this heralding the Armeggeddon Factor?
You’re just saying that because i’m dancing like i’ve never danced before!
I hope not. Ben Affleck using animal crackers as a seduction tool was bad enough the first time.