Hint:
It’s a Game…
It Buggers you that you can’t get it right…
I’ll play it on a Speaker For you, so loud it will wake The Dead…
In The bee Hive, I put a Queen CD for you And The Hegemon…
Orson Scott Card.
Now, where’s my jackpot?
Was that the right answer?
I still want that jackpot!
You know those chocolates that look like gold coins? That’s your jackpot.
Just don’t mind the teeth marks.
Chocolates instead of filthy nickels and boring vouchers? It’s a dream come true!
I thought you were going to say “Spotted Dick”
Sounds like something for the CDC to investigate.
No, seriously…is Spotted Dick similar to Drowned Baby?
make your own spotted dick (the easy way, not the picking up a hooker by the docks way)
Mmmmmm…I’ll forward that one to Chef.
INT. Captain’s Mess
Archer and Trip wait for breakfast. Archer hasn’t had any sleep. Chef enters with something unrecognizable and puts it in front of them. Trip gapes at it and does that thing with his eyebrows.
Archer: Chef, what the hell is this?
Chef: Spotted Dick.
Archer gasps, then glares unconvincingly. Trip picks at the glob on his plate.
Archer: What did you just say to me?
Chef: Spotted Dick–sir.
Archer: Calling me “sir” doesn’t make it better! You insubordinate ingrate. You’re confined to the galley cupboard for the rest of the day.
Trip nibbles gingerly at a piece of dick.
Chef (tearfully): But, Captain…
Archer: ‘Butt’ what? You’re only making it worse for yourself.
Stay in that damn cupboard for a week. I’ll have Hoshi do the cooking.
Chef runs out bawling. Trip tastes the dick and decides it isn’t too bad. He glances at a seething Archer.
Archer: What are you looking at?
Continue. Or skip it and go look at some other thread.
;)My Little Crackers don’t know nothin’ about cuisine…
Archer: “What are you looking at?”
Trip: “Your dick. You gonna eat that?”
Kn*ckers: “No, co-workers! I’m not insane! I’m laughing like a loon because I’m reading this spotted-dick Trek script by my Doper buddies! Wait, don’t call Security!”
Trip: I never had it before, Cap’n but I actually like dick. You should try it.
Archer: I’m just not into that stuff, Trip. Pass the toad in the hole.
Very nice, Kn*ckers, but for accuracy’s sake, you need some stage direction.
Before all of Archer’s lines, insert the following: “(furrows his brow, stares pensively out window)”
It reads much better that way.
Damn you people are sick.
I’m proud of you.
It’s all Tars’ doing. He had to go and bring up the darn dick issue in the first place.
He still hasn’t told me if it’s similar to drowned baby. British cuisine…mmmmmm.
INT. Sick Bay
Phlox is futzing around with his little critters. Chef enters with a covered dish.
Phlox: Yes, Chef?
Chef: I’ve got spotted dick, Doc.
Phlox: Dick Doc? Ah, yes. Spotted dick. It seems to be going around. I’ve ordered all-day decon for the entire crew.
NCB: This is the fourth damn time I’ve told you to get off those Archer/Tucker slash sites!
Let me know if you need more links.
http://hallfood.com/gastronomy/4.shtml
Per Patrick O’Brian and the Jack Aubrey novels (upsoming movie Far Side of the World) Spotted Dick and Spotted Dog are the same thing. A drowned baby is spotted dog without the raisins and eggs.
I was badly mauled in a British food thread. Don’t get it started again. It is truly evil.
Whether or not this is a good idea depends entirely on who gets chosen to spend an hour rubbing gel on Archer’s spotted dick.
Too late.
I’ve read many of those books but hadn’t put the two together.
Thanks for the clarification; I’ll sleep better now.
BTW, my plasma conduits could use a good scrubbing.
I’m not gay!
(Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay…)
Phloxenburger: “Dick Doc? Dick Doc, Dick Doc says the clock! Yes, I do like the mid 1970s soul filtered disco type music. But, that’s not what’s important right now. What’s important is impotence! Gotta get more fo this Dick stuff to the crew, Cheffy Baby.”
T’Pol (interjectingly): “Would it help if I were to strip naked, oil myself up, and rub my naked body all over NoClueBoy?”
Phloxerwassenbeckerhaggernix: “Couldn’t hurt…”
Kirk: "Must…
save…
time…
for…
watching…
this…
episode!"
Well, when someone talks about spotted food, i immediately think of British Food. Does anyone know what “Bob’s your uncle” means?
And just think what terrible things the British will come up with when they have access to the foods of 1000 planets…