I think Norton will scan you on line, NCB, hoping to sell you something.
They certainly sold me a bunch of stuff.
I have SystemWorks 2000 and i did an online update… mmm… 3 or 4 months ago, but it was on my old computer. Might as well do it again and order a new CD while I’m at it. Gonna have to do it soon, too. I can’t open Office now. Bastards.
Not you people.
The virus people.
Sons of bitches.
Wesley lovers.
I think “Wesley Lovers” is a bit strong…
I humbly apologize to all the bastards and sons of bitches I may have offended by linking them with Wesley lovers.
;j
Good for you, NCB!
You Klingon Wesley Lovers, you killed my son!
When I was in cawledge, I found myself needing some extra money. So, I got a job at one of the biology labs sucking puss out of boils. It was pretty much a win win situation, because I got paid for bring the puss into the research lab and a commission from what the people needing their boils sucked had to pay.
I got pretty darn good at it, too. Could fill up a specimen jar in one take, never contaminated it with saliva or anything disgusting. And I usually got tips, too! I’m tellin’ ya, I was good at a very needed srevice.
Well, anyways, one day a call in from the lab to go to this very seedy area of town. When I got to the address, I noticed that, instead of dawgs sleeping on the dilapidated porch, they had giant rats. The rats had unsightly leisions al over them, but no boils. (They also hacked up alot, making me think they were smokers)
Well, I went up to the door to ring the bell and saw that there was a mummified cat tail, not the plant btw, tied to a bell. So, I rang the bell. At the sound of the bell, hundreds of roaches came scurrying out from under the door.
Well, the door opened, and the most incredible stench of mold came wafting out to greet me. The “woman” answering the door looked like an obese Klingon with a disfiguring injury to the face. She had on dingy sweats smeared with greese and rat fur.
She was missing one eye and had apparantly decided to raise a small lizard in the empty socket.
“Come in,” she rasped through her mostly toothless mouth.
“Okay,” I said, “Where’s the boil?”
Well, she turns around, drops her sweat pants, and bends over, revealing a massive, hairy, and very slighlty fecally dirty boil right in the middle of her ass cheeks.
“I’m gonna get a load of money for THIS,” I’m thinking to myself, “This should be a three jar-er!”
Well, just as I lance it and start to orally remove the puss, she lets out a fart.
“Hey, Lady!” I yell, “What are you trying to do? Gross me out?!?”
Chemicals.
That ain’t right.
Now blisters. Thats where its at. Plus, they let you keep the skin you bite off! They make great ashtrays. Now all I have to do it start smoking.
(They also hacked up alot, making me think they were smokers)
Or computer scientests.
I’d walk a mile for a camel…er, rat.
Oh hell… I have a real life again, now.
You’ve heard me refer to her before, usually just in passing or as a part of a joke.
Well, it seems to be getting serious. She kissed me.
Now, I’m not the kind of guy for a casual physical relationship. Not any more, anyways. So, that has been out of the picture for me and so my called morals, right? (They may not be your morals, but they are morals… of a sort…)
When I came to this board, I was on the final downside of a very tumultuous relationship. One of the major downsides of that girl was her extreme selfishness. She also happened to be an old friend of the current interest, though long removed in time.
Before I met my latest exGF, I was very good friends with this other one.
(Okay, I need to assign names. Most recent exGF will be known as “Y.” Girl of longtime friendship and just now kissing will be “K.”)
Before e’re i met Y, I was good friends with K. In fact, I found myself quite drawn to her, years ago, but I didn’t do anything about and hoped to God it didn’t show because she was married. She and her husband didn’t even seem to like each other very much. But, having those odd style morals, I respected the marraige bond. I even became friends with the him. During all that time, my initial attraction for K the girl, grew into a geniuine affection fot K the person.
Well, K’s husband fucked up. Big time. With someone related to me (who was also married.) While I was still sort of with Y. So now, him has lost almost all his friends because he really acted like an asshloe through the whole thing. Hey, people make mistakes, right? But, he burned bridges. And then tore up the foundations for said bridges.
Things could’ve still all worked out for all the couples and individuals involved, but it didn’t. For different and not related reasons, all the SO relationships broke down. Even some old friendships ended. Except for me and K.
Not wanting to do a “rebound” stupidity, I’ve kept her at arm’s length. But, we dd associate some. Well, we associated a lot (we have been good friends for a long time). And our mutual friends have been so good. Never pushing or pulling, just accepting whatever happens. Well, they could see it long before either K or I did. Even my business partner, who is also one of my best friends ever, said we were bound to get together.
Recently, the phone calls, IMs, visits, etc… have been on the rise. We hang out together, and really seem to enjoy whenever we’re near the other. We’ve been more comfortable physically than we ever were before. And then, she kissed me.
I kissed her back.
That was last night. I just got off the phone with her now. We are close. Maybe even the beginning of falling in love. (Who am I kidding? I’m Captain Kirk and she’s my NCC-1701 Enterprise… 
)
Why am I telling you people this? The Dope is my friend. Esp Trek Dopers. Even though it’s all online, it’s not fake. You are RL, just a different type of RL. And I really needed to say all this. If nothing else, to help myself see more clearly by just spelling it all out.
Have I told you how pretty she is? 
Panda ain’t got nothin’ on her, let me tell ya!
Well… look for some goofy poetry in MPSIMS. I am truly inspired.
Now… Back to ENT!
Swank, NCB. I’m jealously happy for you. 
NCB =
Good for you! Now, off to take a peek at your work…
Ummmmm…where is it??
Y’know, I just realized with K(n[NCB lover]ckers?! I knew it!) in the picture, I have less competition for the fair maiden, Viva
Still, that weekly tussle in Decon is a slick and greasy affair…especially with more than two people involved.
:eek:
Pretty sure it’s a different “K”, Aes… Unless I’ve been flying to Oklahoma in my sleep to kiss people I’ve never met. Though, knowing me (as I do), that doesn’t sound so farfetched. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper.
I’m really happy for you, NCB, and thanks for sharing with your DopePals! I’m getting all warm and fuzzy what with all the friendship and camaraderie and so on. I hope this works out for you, and that everyone involved gets to heal from all those previous difficult relationships. Live, love, and be loved!
Affectionately ya’ll’s,
Kn(got pecan pie?)ckers
Group hug!
Or, should it be Grouper hug?
Red Snapper hug?
Rainbow Trout Hug?
Ceolocanth hug!
When Biologists asked the locals to preserve the next Ceolocanth they caught, it was filleted and salted.