“…and all that Jedi…” (Oops, wrong franchise. I just got back from seeing Chicago.)
Don’t tempt fate, folks! Word has it that Bakula sings IRL–but I don’t know how well. And besides… :rolleyes:
“…and all that Jedi…” (Oops, wrong franchise. I just got back from seeing Chicago.)
Don’t tempt fate, folks! Word has it that Bakula sings IRL–but I don’t know how well. And besides… :rolleyes:
The Enterprise is destroyed. Most of the crew (except Mayweather/Archer who bravely stayed on board) The next two episodes are the crew waiting for and boarding a Vulcan ship that heads for the nearest Earth colony to drop off the crew. In the begining of the third episode of season 3 the Vulcan crew picks up a ship with a signal similar to the Enterprises. The Vulcans and Enterprisers are astonished to find that its a new ship with sheilds, weapons, larger crew, Warp 7 and better transporters. It becomes the first official Federation Enterprise. It was built with the help of some Vulcan independants and resources and tech from the like 4 not evil species the Enterprise encountered. This is all before the opening credits btw, and it opens with a brand new not crappy theme song.
The audience discovers that they’ve been in the Mirror-Mirror universe all along.
Captain Archer and Merriweather make sweet love.
Tripp and Malcolm succumb to their unspoken desires.
Smooth forehead Klingons are explained and introduced.
Archer runs into an ugly and particularly rude Vulcan. Later on down the line it’s discovered that “Vulcan” was a Romulan.
Orion Pirates. I don’t have to say anything else.
T’Pol decides it would be logical to show the rest of the crew where else she is pointy.
The Temporal Cold War is resolved off camera, explained briefly and never referred to again.
A story arc where Enterprise runs into the Tholians.
A story arc where Enterprise gets involved with the Bajorans and the Cardassians.
A story arc where the Romulans decide to reunite their world and Vulcan like North Korean wants to reunite South Korea.
When I mean story arc, I mean at least four episodes in a row that have a continuing story not something that draws in viewers during sweeps.
Chef ends up being Chef from South Park. “Hows mah little crackas today?”
Actual battles that cause casualties on the ship. Actual fist fights or wrestling matches that are life threatening and will end in someone’s death.
Merriweather finds himself in a Science Officer/Universal Translator sandwich with hilarious results.
High adventure worthy of being set to Alex Courage.
Dealing with other Earth ships.
The Scarrans kidnap Archer for his wormhole technology. Hoshi discovers she has an extraordinarily high midi-chlorian count after accidentally eating Dr. Phlox’s toenails. The only cure is for engineering to have their guild steersman fold space so the Shadows are unable to conquer the colonies on Mars. Finally Earth recognizes Merriweather as their one, true savior and declare him to be Galactic President with all the trimmings. The cliffhanger ends when Malcolm chokes on his babelfish.
Any of this would be superior to the tripe that Rick Berman pulls out of Braga’s goatse.cx-esque anus after a weekend bender on Castro Street.