Enterprise: The Crossing (spoilers)

Cafe Society
201

And now for another episode of vivaTrek; I have resurrected Porthos for entertainment purposes:

INT. Captain’s Mess–buffet table

Everyone is there, gathered around the table, except Malcolm. They chit-chat and nibble. Suddenly, their noses crinkle in unison and they look around with pained expressions.

HOSHI: Is that what I think it is?

T’POL: Specify.

HOSHI: I think somebody…you know…

TRAVIS: Let one?

EVERYONE BUT TRAVIS: Shut up, Mayweather. No one cares what you have to say.

ARCHER (furrowing his brow to the point that his eyes can no longer be seen): Something smells funny. Something doesn’t smell right.

TRIP: Cap’n, haven’t ya already said that several tahms this season?

ARCHER: Yes. What’s your point?

Trip shrugs and continues to gobble his pecan-encrusted catfish.

PHLOX: Well, I can’t take the responsibility. Denobulons never do that–at least, not out of their nether regions.

CHEF: Then how do they do it?

PHLOX: Out of their ears. Would you like me to demonstrate?

EVERYONE: NO!!!

PORTHOS: GRRR! ARF ARF ARF!

T’POL: Perhaps it was Porthos. Terran canines are notorious for making the air unbreathable.

ARCHER: Don’t you blame my dog!

TRIP (sotto voce): Don’t make no sense…Every time he poots, the Cap’n blames the poor pooch, but he won’t let anyone else do that.

ARCHER: What was that, Trip?

TRIP: Nuthin’, sir.

HOSHI: Is anyone going to 'fess up? It wasn’t me, and it wasn’t Phlox, so who’s guilty?

TRAVIS (jumping up and down, with his hand raised): Me! Me!

EVERYONE: Shut up, Mayweather! We mean it!

ARCHER: It wasn’t me either, and I know it wasn’t Porthos, because I would have recognized it.

CHEF: I’m innocent.

Malcolm Reed walks into the middle of all this, looking shame-faced.

MALCOLM: Sorry I’m late. I willingly accept any punishment that is due me.

TRIP: What are you, some kinda masochistic freak?

MALCOLM: Whatever it is that you’re all talking about, I take full blame for it. Captain, I submit myself for discipli–

ARCHER (interrupting): Yeah, you’d probably like that. But I’m not in the mood. Besides, it happened before you even walked in here, you moron.

TRIP: That’s tellin’ 'em, Cap’n!

PORTHOS: BARK! BARK! WOOF!

TRAVIS: Listen, I really did do it…

EVERYONE: For the last time, Mayweather, SHUT UP!!

TRAVIS (pouting in the corner): They were nicer to me back on the cargo ship…

Everyone looks at each other with a sudden epiphany. Then all eyes turn to T’Pol.

ARCHER: You…Subcommander? It was you?

T’POL: I never denied it.

PHLOX: Interesting how I didn’t deduce that from the beginning. But then, Vulcan physiology is so very different from all other physiologies with which I’m famililar…

TRIP: Can we just get back to the buffet? Ah’m still hungry.

HOSHI: Yes, but let’s open a window or something and get some air in here.

Travis jumps up.

TRAVIS: I’ll do it!

EVERYONE: No, Travis, don’t break through that…it’s the only thing separating us from the void of space…NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

As always, this is dedicated to Kn*ckers, who actually finds this stuff funny; to Aesiron, for joining me in the virtual sandbox every night; and to NoClueBoy, who thinks I’m cute, even though all he has to go by are two crappy digital photos that make me look pale and puffy.
:slight_smile:

–vivathehamsterkiller

202

Yes. Point for you. Noclueboy: go directly to the brig. Do not pass Sector 001. Do not collect 200 gold-pressed latinum.

Truth be told, I just added it in as a last minute brainstorm. I can’t believe it’s taken on a life of its own like this. Cool.

Sorry I haven’t been around to too many Enterprise threads recently. I’m gone on Wednesday nights and don’t often get a chance to check out new episodes of Enterprise. Not that watching the show seems to be a prerequisite for posting in the thread…

203

Viva, I see beyond the spectrum that you puny humans are limited to, and I think you positively glow.

Of course, that can be a hindrance when you are trying to be stealthy…

Picard: “There!”

Energy beams grab Viva and hold her in a state of temporal flux, say… Alabama.

Archer(furrowing his brow into the shape of the original clipper ship Enterprise): “Ziggy! How much time do I have left?”

204

If I may unjack for a moment.

Blue Wisp Goes In, Gold Wisp goes out.
Person is posessed, and his conciousness goes on a magic journey.

Blue Wisp goes out, Gold Wisp goes in.
Person returns to normal.

How did they know that the crew’s souls (the Gold Wisps) would return when the Blue Wisps were exorcised?

205

Hadn’t they seen it with Tripp?

206

Excellent question. Not adequately explained by any dialogue or experience shown to us in this episode.

This has now become the biggest nit for this ep in my eyes, since the nit I posted concerns all Treks with this type of occurance.

Still a good ENT, tho…

207

They should have had T’Pol with a green wisp.

208

Menocchio: I was totally wondering the same thing… Only, I forgot to mention it, because I was too busy hijacking. But I’m with you there, and I’m damned if I know the answer.

viva: Once again, you make me laugh. Very touched by the dedication, too, even if I have to share it with a coupla crazy people…
What?
Oh, I wasn’t talking to you. I thought one of the voices in my head said something.

209

That is a good question. They were risking having a ship full of Travises, weren’t they?

210

Dang it, they saw it happen when Tripp returned after “his” whisp left.

211

Dear me - a Travis takeover! Then we could have scenes like the following:

(On the bridge in some perilous situation involving explosions and danger… We’re at tactical alert, so there’s flashing lights and alarm noises, too)

Travis Archer: [looks around wide-eyed, in silent alarm]
Travis Travis: Sir…
Travis Hoshi: [says nothing, makes no facial expression whatsoever]
Travis Trip (over Com, from engineering): —static----
Travis Archer:
Travis T’Pol: One time, when I was on the cargo ship…
Travis Hoshi:
Travis Archer: [dies]
Travis Malcolm: Sir?
Travis Travis: [dies spectacularly, as his console blows up]
Travis Phlox (entering bridge from turbolift): On the cargo ship, my dad used to… never mind.
Travis T’Pol:
Travis Porthos: (licks self absently)

(Enterprise blows up, killing the remaining non-dead Travises)

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This therad is a Travis-ty.

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A therad is a thread that is a travisty.

214

I had a therad removed just last week from my… never mind. (TMI)

215

…I stuck a phaser in my…

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No, they saw what happens when a wisp leaves voluntarily. They had no idea if the return of then gold wisp was automatic or guided by the other wisps. In fact, IIRC, it looked like the gold was being led around by a blue wisp.

It’s driving me mad! I can’t sleep at night! The irresponsibility of the crew, it’s staggering!

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Hey, NitPickingBoy, what do you think about this one?:

In “The Crossing,” it takes Archer and T’Pol very little time to find Wispy Trip in the mess hall after the crewman tells them he’s left engineering. But in the TOS episode “Court Martial,” it takes them friggin’ forever to mask people’s heartbeats so they can locate Ben Finney in Engineering. Was this all for dramatic effect, or did their technology deteriorate in the years between NX and NCC?
well…?

218

It obviously deteriotated. Just compare Trip’s Engine Room to Scotty’s wee lil bairns.

219

:smack: Oh, yeah! And the Tellarites in an upcoming episode are going to be new and improved…though they really can’t be, since they’re not new; we saw them before on TOS; but that was from a long time ago, and this is now and that was then, and…Norman, coordinate! Must steriliiiiiize…I am Kirok!

Aes, look what you have done to me. Or maybe it’s just the lateness of the hour.
:confused:

–vivavavavoom

220

Lateness of the hour? It’s 2:30 in the morning here and it’s still Wednesday night there. Pft… lightweight. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m still wanting me some CGI Gorn. Tellarites? Feh!