Ethical Question: Any Responsibility to Break Personal Guarantee of Confidentiality?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I think the situation would probably mean the end of my relationship with her anyway, but maybe not.

I have a thing about the power of my own words, so I do not promise that things will “never leave the table”. I generally tell people they will have to decide whether they feel they can trust my judgment and discretion before they tell me anything and I have been known (depending on the sitch) to tell them that my own experience is that any fact known to three people is going to get out one way or another.

But I freely acknowlege that this is a personal thing.

As a practical matter, it seems to me that your situation is far too murky to give rise to anything like an obligation to tell. Unless you relly want to be drawn into this Movie of the Week you might consider limiting yourself to telling her that you think she’s being a jerk and otherwise changing the subject when it comes up.

22

You gave your work; keep it. Telling Bill will piss off both him and Lucy and will accomplish nothing.

If Bill finds out later, he may ask why you didn’t tell him. Tell him you made a promise, and in the long run, he will appreciate the fact that you kept your word to a friend.