I had a house guest this weekend and she needed to borrow some items. I had no problem with that. She needed to borrow my hair products. I had no problem with that, either. I didn’t have products that she uses, though. I have gel, a root volumizer,and a thermal active spray. My guest uses mousse. I was told (not by the guest) that I should have had some on hand for company.
I think that you should have things for guests, yes, but I think on the lines of toothpaste and deodorant type stuff. I have new toothbrushes if they forget theirs, along with extra toiletries.
However, in the event of the hair products, I don’t feel you should buy extra just because someone may need them in the future. The toiletries, yes, because those are something everyone uses. Hair stuff, no. I’m not buying mousse or other types of gels and sprays and stuff that I will never use myself. If they ask if you can go get some for them while they are visiting that’s different. I say the guest should use what’s there with no complaints otherwise.
So where do you draw the line? What are you supposed to buy to prepare for guests?
Your house guest needs to find some manners and then find her memory so she doesnt forget basic, everyday items that she will need when staying away from her own home.
If ANY guest, bar my family, told me that i need to keep extra stuff for them, they would be very quickly told where to go.
Tell her to get her forgetful backside down the shop next time!!
My houseguest was miffed because I didn’t supply vodka.
She buys it by the gallon, and drinks it all day, starting with an “eye-opener” before breakfast.
I’ve never noticed a problem with her speech, so I won’t fault her for drinking, per se.
The only alcohol I drink is a social wine spritzer, only when company insists I join them, nursed all night.
Thus, I can make a single bottle of wine last forever.
We eat out every night she’s here, and I evenly split the tab, even though I only order 1 re-fillable coffee to match her three brand name whiskey drinks.
Oh, and she doesn’t have coffee for me at her house, even though she knows I drink it at every meal.
I must drink only orange juice or other mixers she uses.
Should she have been miffed? If I know she drinks a lot, should I have bought a stock for her to use during the day, when I buy half her drinks at night?
Slurred speech is not a criterion. There is something called ‘state dependent learning’ (which explains why some barflies play darts well when drunk, but badly when sober).
Frequent drinkers, to say nothing of problem drinkers, often ‘learn’ to do common tasks well while drunk – walking, talking, etc. – and believe that this means they are not drunk.
I suspect you already realize that an eye-opener is one of the classic characteristics of a problem drinker. I’m not going to preach or suggest that you do.
Deal with it as you feel best, but it would not be good for you to pretend the sign wasn’t there.
And no, I don’t think you are obligated to buy her big jugs of vodka any more than you’d b obligated to buy her cartons of cigarettes.
It’s funny, I’d suspect that everyone would agree that you shouldn’t be obligated pay for a guest’s prescription medication while they are under your roof – but that’s a lot more important than mousse of vodka.
Wow Anna your friend sounds like my kind of woman.
Although I dno not think you should be obligated to stock your house according to her whims.
I have a “Travel the world cheap” hobby.
The basics are staying with friends and family where ever they may roost.
I would personally despise asking for anything other than a place to crash and time to play catch up with them.
If one’s house guest really needs mousse, then they should bring it themselves. If they forgot it, then they should not burden the host for it. They could ask if it’s available, but if it’s not, then that should be the end of it.
Ex-roomie needed a place to stay for a few days. Right now, he’s asleep on the floor behind me.
I had plans this weekend. Couldn’t carry them out because he was sprawled on the living room floor. What’s worse, he picked up some crack whore and brought her over. She slept all day Saturday, all night, and woke up at 9 AM Sunday. He slept most of that time as well. I’m a nice guy, but I let him know that was a serious infraction. I told him he had to get her out, which he did.
So I couldn’t do what I wanted to do this weekend, there was a stranger (to him, as well as me) in the apartment, and I have lost my privacy. I’m not going to be nice any more. :mad:
Osip, we call our travel dependancy " Mooch of the Friends and Family Program." It’s highly rewarding.
Unless specified, I have never ever used the said friends products or eaten their food. I always ask. It’s not like, " Oh OWNER of this luxurious accomodations just 65 miles from London, MAY I PLEASE USE YOUR BEER SHAMPOO BECAUSE I AM INTRIGUED ON WHETHER OR NOT IT WILL REALLY VOLUMIZE MY HAIR AS PROMISED."
It’s more like, " Hey, can I try some of your beer stuff for this pathetic doo of mine?"
We have two general rules of houseguestery:
As guests, we take one day and do the honey-do list of the person who is hosting us. If that is not doable, then we usually buy enough groceries to cover the person for about a month and take them out to dinner somewhere nice. (when we were visiting our British friend, she had a ton of furniture that arrived while we were there and had to get rid of a bunch as well. Since I was 7.5 months pregnant, I could not help in this department. Instead, I ironed everything hanging on her laundry rack and in her closet. It beat watching tv all day while the furniture was being relocated.
If/when we have guests, I always have extra toothbrushes on hand. Everything else of ours they are more than welcome too, including food. since most of my friends are folically challenged, the mousse debate is a moot point.
It never occurred to me that I should provide for my guests… until I had 7 girls sleeping over and it came to light that I didn’t own a hair dryer.
Fortunately, the situation was kept under control. But I have since considered buying one, just in case this happens again!
I just wanted to add that any host who went through that much trouble (an array of hair products to meet potential needs!) would make me, as the guest, extremely uncomfortable. We, too, often take advantage of friends and relatives when we travel, but I am always reluctant to go back and stay with people that were too generous while we were there, because all that effort on thier part made me feel guilty. However gracious they might have been about it, the people that wouldn’t let us take them out to dinner, who cooked every night, had clean sheets in the guestroom, and who took person responsibility for our having a wonderful time every minute must have been inconvienced, pretty seriously sometimes, and that makes me uncomfortable. This is espscially true since we are still in college and if any of these same people come to our town the most we can offer is the couch and our company. I feel much more welcome and like less of an imposition when someone is a casual host, and I try and mirror this when I have company.
I recently visited a close friend in NC, and I realized I forgot my brush (I have very long hair, so I can’t just use “whatever”). I didn’t want to muck hers all up (I shed), so I said “Hey, can we stop at Wal-Mart? I forgot a few things”. I believe THAT is the way to handle such forgetfullness. A host shouldn’t be expected to provide hair care products, etc. Even the Holiday Inn doesn’t do that!
For the record, I don’t think it was MaryAnn’s guest who thought she should keep stuff on-hand, it was a friend MaryAnn was discussing the situation with.
I personally keep some fancy soap, dispozable razors, and toothbrushes for guests. Everything else they can wait 'till we get to the store for.
I was going to say the same thing. Guests in my house have it a bit cushier than most because our guestroom has it’s own TV/VCR and bathroom. I supply a few mini-bottles of shampoo and lotion left over from our travels, as well as razors, toothbrushes, toothpaste, etc. as I think to pick them up and put them in the guest bathroom.
As to specific guests, I know a friend who stays with me drinks a lot of gin, so to be polite I usually have some on hand for when she visits; but she is not so rude as to expect me to buy gallons of the stuff for an extended stay. I usually say something like “I’m going to the store to get ____, would you like to come with and pick up anything you need?” or “I only have about a half bottle of _____, if you think you’d like more than that you may want to stop and get more while you’re out today.” Booze is a touchy area; I would never expect someone to buy booze for me, especially if I were going to consume abnormal quantities of it (I mean, most of the time you’re expected to bring your own bottle to a PARTY where everyone is drinking, right?) I was even too creeped out to let my parents buy me liquor when I was visiting last, even though they offered. I felt very strange about asking them for a bottle of tequila when all they ever drink is beer.
I keep a duffle bag packed and ready for when I go out of town for work or vacation or to visit friends. I keep it loaded with my own haircare products, soap, hair blower, deoderant, razor, nail file, asprin, a pair of clean panties, a book, and anything else I think I will need. It comes especially handy during layovers.
It is rude to expect a host to supply you with personal items and I would never trust anyone to know which brands I prefer.
I keep a duffle bag packed and ready for when I go out of town for work or vacation or to visit friends. I keep it loaded with my own haircare products, soap, hair blower, deoderant, razor, nail file, asprin, a pair of clean panties, a book, and anything else I think I will need. It comes especially handy during layovers.
It is rude to expect a host to supply you with personal items and I would never trust anyone to know which brands I prefer.
It’s nice to know that there are some considerate houseguests out there! We had friends come over to visit us for about a week last year. Since we have no guest room, we let them sleep in our bed, and we slept on an air mattress in our son’s room. I bought their brand of cereal and soda and some decaf coffee, but I don’t think that it is obligatory.
I was shocked by their rudeness. We’d be sitting, watching tv and the guy would commandeer the remote control and change channels without asking! One day, I came in my room to get something, and he was sitting on my bed eating cereal and going through my husband’s CDs. The CD thing was not a big deal, but he left them scattered on the table without putting them back in their cases, let alone in the rack.
The girl hogged the bathroom, and used my bathrobe without asking, which was very inconvenient for me, as I had no other. Even though I told them it would likely be chilly & rainy, they didn’t bring windbreakers or umbrellas, and had to borrow ours.
They were quite good friends, until this visit. You really don’t know people until you have to live with them for a while. It’s sad because this trip has estranged us (not just the houseguest part, other issues too). I’m quite happy to accomodate guests, but I do ask that they treat me & my home just as well as they’d expect people to treat theirs.
soap, shampoo, conditioner, towels, washcloths, and the guest bathroom is stocked with the usual first-aid items such as band-aids, aspirin, etc…
But if it’s something I don’t use, they need to get it themselves! e.g. I don’t drink soft drinks (coca-cola, pepsi, etc…) so if guests want those they can go buy it themselves.