A colleague has made an introduction to someone he knows who may have a job opportunity for me. That person and I are meeting for lunch tomorrow. We work in a small field, so we both know of each other.
My question is simple. Should I fight for the bill, let him get it, plan on splitting it, etc? I am happy to pay, but I am not sure if there is a generally accepted practice here. Since he is the one doing me a favor by meeting with me, I feel like I should get it…
more experienced folks than I will hopefully answer, but my practice is when there is any question in my mind, offer to split the bill. That is the most fair thing to do.
I would expect to pick up the whole bill, including tip, but at the least to split the check. After all, he is the one with the info (the job opportunity) you are interested in. If, however you are doing him a favor (the job situation is such that he might/will get a bonus for recruiting you) I would expect to split the check, with the chance he might pick up the whole thing. I always find it nice if, when I pick up the check, the other party offers to leave the tip, but it isn’t necessary.
On the other hand, if he is involved in the hiring process, his superiors might not approve of him accepting gifts from job candidates. I would probably try to pick it up but not make a fuss if he asks to split it
I’d offer to pay, and if he doesn’t take you up on it defer to whatever he suggests (maybe he can expense it so will pick it up?)…in any case don’t make a big deal about it.
He’s doing you a favor. In return, you offer to pay for lunch. Since it’s a relatively small favor he should decline, and suggest splitting the tab. You should agree and not insist.
When the OP said “May have a job opportunity for me,” I assumed the other person was hiring, not just referring. That makes the lunch an interview and the hirer is expected to pay or perhaps split it if it’s less formal and a small industry. Under no circumstances should the interviewee pick up the tab.
I’d offer to pay the tab, and take it from there - if the other party insists on splitting then that’s fine; if s/he insists on paying the whole tab I’d hesitate but may accept. Don’t make it a big deal, whatever you do.
A lot depends on their tone of voice, their body language and the situation.
Thanks a lot for the thoughts. I think the consensus is offer to pay, and see where it goes.
It is not a formal interview, just a meet- if it goes well, then we may move to a more formal interview. I had wondered about impropriety of the “interviewee” paying, but I suppose the best thing is to offer and let him worry about that.
This works for me, since my inclincation would be to get the tab- he is giving me his time, not the other way around.
Plus, given his very senior position in the company, in the end I don’t think anyone will second guess his actions.