Euphemisms for menstruation?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

Mouse matresses
Manhole cover
The cardboard cannon
12-guage shells
The wings of destiny
Clitty litter (used)
Deer lures (used)
Blud Clot’ (Jamaican slang for a used one, also an insult to a man)
Doin’ the No Baby dance
Stripping the wallpaper (shedding the uterine lining)
The Red Badge Of Courage
Not a day to wear white
Remember, the adhesive side goes out.
Curses! Foiled again!
Well, put the cradle back in the attic!

The Hell’s Angels have a Red Wings patch to show that the wearer has given head to a menstruating woman.

When Lil’ Marli gets to growling, remind her that raggin’ has 2 Gs, not 1.

And, when it’s time to talk about Jilling off, tell her that orgasm is one of the best ways to cramp relief.

82

Here’s a little song about other terms - from the Australian movie Boytown:

My husband refers to me being ‘up on blocks’ (as in a car you can’t drive …)
Another term is ‘circus is cancelled - the monkey has a blood nose’

83

It isn’t exactly a nick, but in Spain it’s called “la regla,” “the rule.” Cos it’s a rule of life that if you’re female you’re going to get it and cuss it…

84

We use the DivaCup around here so we usually say something like “Gotta go do the Diva”

85

I don’t know if it qualifes as a euphemism, but in our younger days Razorette simply referred to it as, “Sorry, you’re SOL.” I loved how she made it all about me.

86

I swear to God, on the night before I was married, one of my uncles – having imbibed one or two Jack Daniels too many – actually told me, “Never, never criticize your wife…” I thought this was a noble, gallant thing to say, until he added, “…‘cuz you ain’t ever gonna’ win a fight with somebody who bleeds for five days and survves.”