A friend of mine who is an Orthodox priest uses the phrase “… went to sleep in the Lord” when announcing a death. I’ve always understood this as a liturgical formula rather than a euphemism.
Here I thought people were going to complain about “the ladies’ room” or “the little girls’ room” - but then I recalled that “toilet” started out as an euphemism too, and I’m not rooting for “Females’ Faeces disposal room”.
By the way, I agree with using “died” instead of “passed” or “passed on”. I don’t use those euphemisms. I’m also reminded of a good friend who had cancer and told me about all the people who just couldn’t use the word: they’d say “your condition”, “your illness”, “it”, anything to avoid pronouncing that word. She says it didn’t help at all.
Oh, okay. I wasn’t that aware of its religious use.
I would pit the rainbow bridge. Whoever thought that one up and anyone who perpetuates its use should be boiled in oil. It’s not comforting and it’s not cute - so drop it, you dithering toads who use it when my pet dies. Thinking of my beloved pet wandering around in some Elysian-style field, wondering where I am and who the heck these other animals are, breaks my heart. I don’t think the rainbow bridge is real by any means, but it’s a thought that just seems sadder to me than the reality, that my pet is dead and doesn’t know anything anymore. Hate, hate, hate.
In general, I hate euphemisms. There are certain times when they’re appropriate, perhaps when talking to children about the death of their grandparents, but in most cases, it’s unnecessary.
As a guy, I have to say the “curvy” and “voluptuous” thing really irritates me. I like a woman that has curves, but almost every single time a woman describes herself that way, she’s just fat, and the women that are actually curvy get stuck coming up with something else. And it basically ends up making all of those words useless. I don’t even really see the point. Anyone who says that is just lying to herself and any guy who is looking for it and is mislead is just going to be disappointed. If you’re comfortable in your skin, that’s all that matters, but if you have to lie to yourself and others about it, then you’re probably not very comfortable.
The death euphemisms are annoying too, but at least there’s not really any lying involved and no one is really fooled by “passed” rather than “died”, it’s just a silly attempt to make people feel better. If that’s the motivation, I can deal with it, even if I don’t like it.
I will resist the ethnic cleansing one, and similar types, though. Yes, ethnic cleansing and genocide aren’t exactly the same thing, but the difference between the impact of the two phrases is much too large. I’m loathe to come up with a better phrase now, but there’s got to be something better we could use.
The ones that gets me the most, though, are the ones that permit hypocrisy. For instance, we’ll see our troops or allies do certain things and they’re described as “guerilla tactics” but if they’re on the other side, they’re “insurgents” or “terrorists”. Same with “interrogation” vs. “torture”. In the political arena, if someone is fighting a bill we want, they’re “obstructionists” preventing “progress”, but we don’t say that about them when we agree with them.
I wish language were more consistent so we would make these judgments about when these acts are good or bad based upon the actual acts themselves rather than the opinion of those describing them. So, for instance, a politician fighting a bill, whether or not we agree with his motivations, we should use the same term. In fact, I resist a huge number of political terms for this very reason.
I see you’re one of those “glass half full” types, The CORRECT answer is “All the rescuer did is delay his inevitable death.”
I think that definition may be too (heh) narrow. I think of “curvy” as implying curves rather than angles or straight lines: big boobs, round butt, plump shoulders, and so forth. I’ve seen some apple-shaped women that I’d describe as “curvy”.
I agree, though, that extremely obese people generally don’t look “curvy”, although I don’t really mind if they want to use the word.
The euphemism for “fat” that I don’t like is “fluffy”. I know it originated as a joke about fat cats and their fluffy fur, but the human body is not fluffy, and the joke is pretty tired by now.
And the obituary euphemism that grates on me is “a battle with cancer”. Like the promiscuous use of “hero”, it’s an attempt to valorize ordinary experience in a way that’s now become bland and meaningless with overuse.
It’s also a bit unpleasantly disparaging, as it suggests that if the poor schlub had just fought harder, they wouldn’t have lost the battle. (And that’s not counting the obituaries and headlines that come right out and SAY “So-and-so loses battle with cancer”: not only dead but also a loser, what a nice sentiment.) :rolleyes:
Just say “after a long illness” and leave it at that: people who were close enough to the deceased to care exactly what the illness was will already know, and those who weren’t don’t need to know.
And here I thought somebody on the Dope was having sex with Papilionoidea…ewww.
Urgh. I got carried away by my own rant. Thanks for keeping an eye on me.
I meant this forum within the SDM Board. I’ll bet you figured that out six minutes after you posted.
Ugh, that’s a bad one. For a while around here the term was “downsized,” which is bad enough, but then somebody got the brainwave to use “right-sized,” which is just insulting. Haven’t heard that one for years, though.
I always kind of liked the British verision: “Made redundant.”
That one bugs me. Technically, millions of soldiers are dead tonight. There are just eight more as of today.
For me, the one that makes me twitch is “furkids”. I know, you like your dogs or cats. They are not your children.
Restraint? Me? As you can see, I’m short on that.
I completely agree with “fluffy” as a euphemism for fat. In fact, I agreed with your whole post, Kimstu.
I hate jot. I had teachers in the past who would cheerily say “Let’s just jot this down!” and then have us write several pages of useless busywork. Can’t fool me with your euphemism, lady- I know you just want me to get permanent writer’s cramps!!
The two euphemisms I guess I hate the most are using “share” instead of “tell” and “feel” instead of “think”.
I don’t know if it falls under euphemisms or just ignorance and herd mentality, but I also hate that “impact” and its variants have nearly replaced “effect” and “affect” and their various forms.
I guess I’m the odd one out. I like a lot of euphemisms. They can be effective tools in a writer’s tool box. Some I like more than others. Some, I actively dislike (the curvy one…yeesh! I’m a fat chick and would never use that one to describe myself).
Euphemisms can add color to an otherwise black and white story or song. They can make the written word come to life when used well. They can give you a heads up to the personality, politics, education and/or religion of a speaker.
They have their place.
Thanks! Thinking it over, though, I guess “battle with cancer” isn’t really a euphemism per se; it’s just a metaphor. An annoying metaphor.
You may enjoy this Open Letter to People Who Use the “Battle” Metaphor for Other People Who Have the Distinct Displeasure of Cancer.
So basically you hate it for atheistic reasons?
Me too. Although I mildly dislike “curvy” being used inaccurately, what would everyone suggest those on a dating site use instead? Because they’re supposed to put their best foot forward to entice a potential partner, I’m sure most would agree that “fat” wouldn’t be the flattering way to go.
I really dislike “go to the bathroom” when it is not about a real bathroom. “I just went to the bathroom behind those bushes” is stupid.
And “Can you believe it? During our last trip, the dog went to the bathroom in our car” is far more than stupid.
I am probably too idealistic about this, and I don’t do online dating myself, but ISTM that if you [generic obese-person-composing-dating-site-profile “you”, that is] are looking for somebody who isn’t primarily concerned with physical appearance, you don’t need to say anything about your physical appearance at all.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for somebody who doesn’t find a big or fat body type unattractive, you need have no qualms about saying that you’re “big” or “fat”.
If what you’re looking for is somebody who might be interested in you only as long as they don’t realize you’re obese, I think you’re ultimately doomed to disappointment no matter what euphemism you use to describe your physical appearance.
All true, of course. I’ve never done online dating, but I was under the impression that frequently you had to pick a category to fit into. So, “curvy” wasn’t so much a self-identifier, but a lesser of evils. Maybe others could confirm or deny.