even sven, please give the poverty schtick a rest

And about the “threat” claim I made…

I’ll admit I’m more than a little paranoid about tough, suck-it-up, no-excuses people. Deep down I believe they DO long for a fascist smackdown on the rest of us. Sorry, but…

It’s not the work. It’s not the lack of it. It’s her inability to accept the life she chose. I don’t give a rat’s ass what she does with the next 40 years of her life. But I prefer a little honesty in the rant. If she would quit crying poor, it wouldn’t be the steaming pile it’s become

Gotcha on the mail crossing.

And I am basically in agreement with you, which is why I was asking her why she was posting. What she’s doing now clearly isn’t working, for her or for the doper community.

If she is posting for advice or help, which I’m sure she needs and there’s nothing to be ashamed of in that, then she should acknowledge the responses and try to use them in private whenever she gets her courage up.

If she is only posting to get things off her chest or to garner sympathy (also a-ok), she should first of all say so, and then probably change her approach, given how regularly people are finding the basis of her rants to be ridiculous or even upsetting (cf the whole $20K poverty distinction).

And if she really doesn’t care about reader feedback, then she shouldn’t be posting things that sound more or less like masked cries for help here at all.

I haven’t posted advice specifically because I see she isn’t interested in it, but I know that there ARE lots of people who DO continue to post advice, and will continue to do so, because that’s the type of community this is. It’s a great ressource if people actually use it respectfully. And I don’t feel she’s using it respectfully. Hence my frustration.

You’ll have to pry my fascist smackdown out of my cold, dead hands.

sven can take my suggestion or not as she likes but I was reading the local C-U rag today and I thought of her.

There was a huge write-up about LunaFest in our local newspaper today and it sounded like something you would have a real shot at. Best of luck on the depression and everything else.

Yup. Perhaps it sounds hypocritical seeing how I am reading this and replying to it but the BBQ pit is a board devoted to hate and complaining. Realistically what kinds of people voluntarily hang out on a board devoted to hate and complaining as opposed to a board devoted to popular culture like cafe society or intelligent debates like GD? Probably not the types you’d want to lower your guard around or ask for help. The people on the boards like MPSIMS or IMHO, or at the very least the moods of people when they choose to visit these boards as opposed to BBQ are going to be more productive or helpful.

Beware of Doug,

I don’t know how long you have been lurking, but Sven has been playing much of the same tune (personally, I think she’s gotten a lot better) for about two years. When she started singing, most people here were very supportive (and she is far from the worst whiner we’ve seen). After two years - two years, btw, in which other Dopers have been through a hell of a lot worse - its gotten a little difficult to continue to be supportive.

Perhaps worst of all, there is a bright, funny, hardworking, optimistic Sven out there that we saw back when she had a plan and the world was her oyster. Its a shame to see reality kick the shit out of her. Perhaps worse that she isn’t completely willing yet to admit that it is reality, and until she does, it probably will continue to kick the shit out of her.

Sven - You need to read that again.

Not long ago I decided I wanted a video camera. I searched around and found a model I liked which would accept a wide array of common size lenses. Best thing, this was last years model. A few phone calls and I located one at a store a few miles away. It was an open box and they were dying to get rid of it. I dug around a bit more and found a wide angle lens for 70 bucks. I found some used filters at another camera shop for under 10 bucks each. A few extra bucks for some lights and a mic, I’m making movies. At the end of the day I’ve got a pretty good set up for about $450. I already had a copy of Adobe Premier which came with my $35 Firewire card. The computer I’m using for editing would cost about $800 at todays current costs.

That’s only $1250 to start making movies at my house.

By being thrifty, doing research and searching around for the kick-ass deal, I could build a pretty good set up for 5 thousand. That would include several cameras, mics, mixer, lights, stands and an editing rig. That said, it would be far from top of the line, but who needs that with a good movie? Clerks had crap lighting, crap sound, and some pretty dorky camera shots, but the movie works BECAUSE of those things. That movie would have sucked giant ass if Lucas or Speilberg tried to do it.

My friend and I have already started working on a short and I’ll be happy to share on this forum when we’re done editing.

Guess what? I never really wanted to make films. I sort of started this as a hobby. I’m having fun with it and learning as I go. I’ve had no education on the subject but so far pretty good.

Sven - you’ve got the funds to pay off your loan AND get set up to start making films. It almost sounds like you want to spend the entire 20k on your short. Video seems the best way to go to me because it’s reusable. I’m not sure but I would happen to guess just the film costs alone are going to eat away at that 20k quickly. With video you can shoot and edit for weeks and weeks without needing much more then a handful of tapes. You can always transfer to film later.

Or, invest 10k, spend 5k on a video rig and use the rest to ensure you make your loan payments every month until you’re back on your feet. 5k is just over two years worth of your monthly payments (They were $200 a month right?)

It seems, while dirt poor, you’re living on your current wage somehow. You owed 15k when you went to India but you went anyway. Soon you’ll be making more at the hotel gig. What are you waiting for? Even if you drop 5k on a video setup you’ll still have 15k to fall back on.

Stop making excuses and make your fucking movies already. The ONLY thing that is stopping you is YOU.

Grinding her into the dirt, Doug? Telling her to quit her bitching about circumstances she freely chose is grinding her into the dirt? That’s the bulk of this thread, you know–people saying that she’s not some pitiful victim of fate, but rather a grown woman who chooses to go hungry rather than buy some damn groceries with her inheiritance, and as such she needs to learn to live with those choices like a freakin’ grownup.

That’s the main part of the frustration and impatience, you know–her pissing and moaning about stuff she has freely and willingly chosen. The Dope overall tends to not have a lot of patience with people who do that, especially when that person won’t do anything to make other choices. You might not remember I_Dig_Bad_Boys, but she was a classic example of a pattern that we see all too often.

Whiny Poster: Oh, woe is me, for my life is miserable and hideous, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Various Dopers: Well, have you considered RemedyA? When I had that problem, RemedyB worked really well. RemedyC might help. What about RemedyD?

Whiny Poster: Oh, woe is me, there is nothing I can do.

Various Dopers: What about all that stuff we suggested? You can’t even try any of those? And how about RemedyE?

Whiny Poster: No, those things work for other people, but they cannot work for me. There is nothing I can do. Nothing, nothing, nothing. My life will be miserable and hideous until the end of time.

Various Dopers: Why can’t these things work for you? Have you thought about about RemedyF?

Whiny Poster: I cannot do those things because of my oh-so-very-unique difficulties that no one in the history of the world has ever been through. Woe is me.

Various Dopers: No, I had those same difficulties, and I managed to do it. How do you know you can’t if you never try.

Whiny Poster: No, your difficulties were very, very different from mine. No one understands what it’s like to be me. Woe is me, for my life is so very miserable and hideous.

Various Dopers: Oh, shut the fuck up.

With IDBB, the woe is me crap was so constant, and she was so deadset against trying to do anything that might improve her life, that her threads started following the abbreviated pattern:

IDBB: Oh woe is me, for–

Dopers: Oh, shut the fuck up.

In a way, it’s kind of a good thing that this thread was started. If even sven had been left to carry on as she was, I think she would have gone down the IDBB path with a similar ending. That would have been a great shame. As it is, this seems to have been a wakeup call for her to at least change her posts, if not her outlook on life.

The most sensible thing posted in this entire thread. IMHO. YMMV. VWPBL.

But this forum is a LOT of fun to hang out in. There’s a lot of wit coming out of hate and complaining, and me enjoys it greatly. Of course, YMMV. Oh, yeah, it’s the Pit: You Damn Hippie!

Not long enough, obviously. Know how the board works and some of its tenor, but none of its history.

What aspect of reality are you talking about here? Pardon me if I seem a bit dense. I never quite got the concept that if reality kicks the shit out of you you have to come running back and embrace it. If that’s what you mean.

Understood. I think. But…

Am I to infer that this is not the place to come looking for help if your lifestyle choices land you in a shithole of self-loathing and depression you lack the strength to get out of? Because I can readily identify with that. I can also identify with the depressive’s tendency to believe that no one else can possibly understand their predicament. Because the first 2 or 3 people who don’t understand are all it takes.

All of which serves to explain my impatience with y’all’s…impatience.

No - you’ve got it wrong. There are plenty of people here that are kind and compassionate and will offer support and advice at the drop of a hat. However, when those people are repeatedly ignored, or dissed, or generally shat upon, they tend to get a bit tired of the schtick.

You know - like the boy who cried wolf when there wasn’t one - eventually the townsfolk didn’t give a shit if he got eaten.

Beware of Doug, I do see your point. However, I’m really not sure that letting someone stay comfortable in their inability to act to change their misery is a good plan, either.

By the way, I hope you stick around.

The reality that a very few talented lucky people make a good living doing what they really love in a very competative field like art or music or film - and can afford to do it living in a part of the country with a high cost of living.

Realty kicks the shit out of a lot of people - and a lot of people who have embraced it. But if you don’t accept realty, its halfway towards winning the battle.

It really doesn’t make any difference if the reality you fail to accept is “very few lucky people make a good living in a competative field like film (or art, or writing)” or if its “a young single mom with a high school degree is going to find making ends meet more challenging.” Reality is, the world owes nothing, there is no entitlement. Waste time not accepting that, and you are spitting into the wind. Blinded by your own spit, reality takes the opportunity to kick you in the groin.

Sven can accept reality a number of ways. She can say “I want to live in Santa Cruz, and pursue my art. To do this, I’ll invest in a camcorder, and run a hot dog cart on the Boardwalk all summer long. In the off season I’ll sell tickets at the Mystery House. I’ll eat ramen noodles, share an apartment, and face the fact that only if I get incredibly lucky will I ever own a decent car.” She could say “I’m willing to move someplace where employment is not so depressed as Santa Cruz and someplace where even if I make minimum wage, I can afford to eat. I’ll try and find a job as a corporate drone and pick up some web skills. I’ll use my weekends and evenings to film with my camcorder, and not wonder if I can afford groceries next week.” She could say “I’m applying to grad school - when I get out, I’ll teach” (though I know several unemployed Film Studies PhDs - grad school in Film Studies is no more an entitlement to a job than a B.A.). She could say “I’m going back to school to get a bachelors in education, and I’ll teach high school English and drama” Teaching degrees and nursing degrees are as close as you get to “entitlement” with a BA (though she might have to move).

As I said, she’s making progress. She’s moving after the holidays. I have high hopes the Sven will stop letting her guard down.

No, this is a wonderful place to come looking for help at any time for any reason–if you’re really looking for help, and not just someone to pat you on the head and tell you how mistreated you are. Hell, this is generally a pretty good place to come for the occasional head-patting and ego-stroking. It is not, however, the place to come for constant head-patting.

You want to see some head-patting, read my thread about my uncle. Pretty much all the issues in that thread are the forseeable consequences of things people in my family have freely chosen to do–he chose to smoke for forty years, he and my aunt choose not to go nuclear on his oncologist and insist on a hospice discharge, they choose not to fire this guy and get a new oncologist, they choose not to take advantage of the patient advocates at the hospital. And still, people here have a)suggested options to try and improve the situation, and b) expressed a lot of sympathy for them, even though a lot of that shitty situation is of their own choosing. Hell, people have expressed sympathy for the fact that I’m in another state, even though I’m the one who chose to move. This is a wonderful place for having a little wallow in self-pity. It’s just when you want to wallow constantly for extended periods that the trouble starts.