Has there ever been a farting contest anywhere? If there has, tow things,
1.) What was the longest fart?
2.) What was the loudest fart?
I think Howard Stern did this once. My mother sometimes called me a farthead, but that was many years ago.
GRADY
I like to think of life as a farting contest. If so, I’d seed myself in the top 10.
Occasionally, after many, many beers, my friend and I will wind up doing this. Generally the first one is unintentional, but interpreted as a kind of challenge.
We generally don’t have enough, erm, ammo to really carry it more than a couple of rounds. So far, I’ve been relatively undefeated, with my friend giving up and running in the other room in disgust when I try to squeeze out one last entry, but have it wind up sounding like a sickening gurgling noise instead of a more conventional-sounding poot.
You should see my trophy.
You should smell mine.
Contest? It was more of a grudge match as I recall.
I consider it my civic duty to pass on the knowledge I gained.
There is no winner in a farting grudge match.
- Broccoli
- Cabbage
- Bananas
- Dried Apricots
- Lima Beans with ham
- Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (or other krausened ales), in bottles, lots…
If I go to bed after drinking a sixpack of Sierra Nevada, I wake up the following morning with enough gas in my bowels to blow an entire stanza of reville on the butt trumpet… That stuff’s amazing.
I highly recommend it.
It is my dream to be a farting contest.
Just flush it and stop bragging already.
Giraffe’s just nervous, 'cause he doesn’t want to drop his sandwich in the bowl!!!
Didn’t you volunteer for the next challenge? I seem to remember you volunteering…
Gah!
I saw you as the last reply, and had a brief, fleeting memory…
:: shudder ::
:: runs to flush away the evidence ::