Ever been caught masticating?

“Nature will castigate those who don’t masticate”
Wasn’t there a guy named Fletcher who advocated chewing each mouthful at least 30 times? That would slow down the eating process!

I don’t care if you want to masticate in public, I just don’t want to see your uvula while you do it. Your wet, pink uvula…glistening…moving back and forth and back and forth…

Oh lord, what was I saying now?

not sure, can you say it again - a little slower this time?

It sucks being single. I’m masticating right now and thinking how much better it would be with a partner. Luckily, the girls around here aren’t easy but they’re usually ok with mutual mastication on the first date.

I’ve seen some disturbing things in my time.

People engaging in Social intercourse in public places…

Theres never a Cop around when you need one .