Ever been caught masturbating?

In My Humble Opinion
61

Maybe because he’s surprised and embarrassed. It’s true that if he hadn’t jumped up, she probably would never have noticed, but it wouldn’t have been much of a sex ed film. I suppose that mentally retarded people (the film’s target audience) are more likely to think they’ve been caught even when they haven’t; being able to see the difference between what you know and what others know is an important step in cognitive development.

I believe that he stops when she comes in; I certainly don’t see him do it harder.

62

Ha, that’s what I thought at first, but I think what he’s actually doing is trying to quickly button/zip up his pants so that no one will be the wiser. Of course, if he’d just laid still he could have pretended he wasn’t feeling well, and then zipped up when his mom’s back was turned, but never mind…

Look at 0:18 in Hippy Hollow’s original link - I think that’s the part people are referring to where it looks like he’s doing it harder.

63

Back when I didn’t ejaculate much yet (age 10 or so), I’d masturbate by climbing up a soccer goal post, hang in there by my armpits while tensing my thigh and stomach muscles and swinging my legs rhythmically. Amazingly, this produced an intensely pleasurable orgasm within seconds. Naturally, by masturbating on soccer fields in plain daylight I’d occasionally get caught. But, being fully clothed and my hands nowhere near my crotch, no-one knew what was happening. Just some kid trying to climb up a soccer goal post.

Had to stop once the cum got in the way (not that nice to cycle back home in semen-soaked pants). Damn, I miss those early days. The hand just doesn’t feel as good.

64

Not been caught to my knowledge (except by an SO, who joined in the fun), but I do have a terrible, soul-crushing, cold-sweats jizz story.

It was soon after I’d started - aged 14 or so - and as I was washing in the bath (we didn’t have a shower at that time), I started to mess about with myself, and before I knew it I was nearing completion. I had never seen what happened to spunk in water, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to find out while I was still sitting in it. I was too far from the toilet roll to get any, and the moment was at hand, so I just grabbed the nearest receptacle, which was one of those little disposable paper cups you use to rinse when you’re brushing your teeth.

Having dealt with that, and washed myself off, I then got dressed and went out to meet some friends in a neighbouring town. About 30 minutes after arriving, I suddenly got a cold sweat down my spine: I’d left the cup of jizz on the side of the bath.

I made my excuses to my buddies, jumped on my bike and hared it back home - to find the bathroom door locked. “Who’s in there?” I asked, and my dad answered “Me”, and I heard the sound of sploshing.

My dad, in the bath, with a cup of my fresh jizz, by his head.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit. The shame. I paced the house and blushed and sweated downstairs, until eventually heard him leave the bathroom, and I ran and retrieved it, wrapped it in tissue, put it in a plastic bag, left the house, and buried it in the woods.

No idea whether or not he looked in the cup - it would have been right by his ear - or, if he did look in it, whether or not he knew what it was. I’m just glad he didn’t think it was shampoo…

65

Never caught; occasionally masturbated with my SO watching.

Male, started at 6.5 years old. Always amazes me that a lot of guys don’t start masturbating until puberty. Felt just as good before, but without any mess.

66

I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I started; I remember having enjoyable sensations down there at six of seven years of age, perhaps before, but the desire to pleasure myself by rubbing vigorously against my mattress became much more insistent when I was around ten years old. I might have done it occasionally as a prepubescent, but it was pretty much a daily habit/obsession once puberty raised its ugly head, so to speak.

67

I started when I was very young, but female. It always amazed me when I would meet girls who not only didn’t start young but never did it at all. NEVER? They never noticed that…sensation down there?!

68

Okay, I guess I’m the only one caught by one of my children? He was napping (I thought) and I was napping (I thought he thought) but we each were not.

I was on my bed, under the covers, eyes closed. Suddenly a little hand was on my shoulder. “Oh, Mommy, are you cold? You’re shaking . . . I’ll get you a blanket”. :eek:

I just replied to the thread about earliest memories - here’s hoping his memories begin at 4.

69

Did you keep doing it after you turned male?

70

There wasn’t time–I only had about twenty minutes and I had to spend most of those collecting excess fallopian tubes for the she goddesses of Alpha 9.

That does make sense. On first glance it looks like he’s lying there, doing it fairly subtly in a way that most people might not even notice and that when she opens the door, it’s all, “Ahh…so little time, wank, wank like there’s no tomorrow!” Oh well. Young grasshopper is new and has not mastered the art of “Hide the boner.”

71

Heck, I never had any erections until a year or two before Hormone Hell hit, nor would I, innocent Catholic boy that I was, even know what to do next (first orgasm was an accident of sorts, in my bed, at age 13). Well, I did when I was a baby, and my dirty pedophile parents (no, not really) snapped a picture of same (found it several years back when rummaging through some old pictures). Do that today and try to get developed, and it’s 20 years in the hoosegow for both of them.

72

Once, in an Ambien induced trance (which I don’t remember) my wife noticed that I was furiously trying to pleasure myself and was distraught that I could not get an erection. She says that I was trying so hard that she thought I would hurt myself. She distracted me (I don’t know how) until I fell asleep.

73

That’s some funny shit right there. American Pie aint’ got nothing on you! :smiley:

74

Cup fill o’ jizz, it’s that heavenly spunk juice…

75

Numerous times when I was a kid, and my father had a major bee up his ass about it. I never knew why. I asked him when I was an adult, and he just said, “Because I thought it was wrong.”

Needless to say, I beat my son with a belt over it as indirect revenge. No, not really, I just told him I didn’t really want to see him doing it.

76

No. I didn’t really start masturbating very often until I was well out of the parental home. For the last few years I had a roommate and I was always kinda afraid she would walk in in medias res (she was totally unable to deal with any kind of sexual behavior and would have been squicked beyond belief), since she would go ballistic if I opened her door without asking permission first but never extended the same courtesy to me.

Mom did find my hand-drawn porn stash more or less annually from 13 to when I moved out to go to college. Never stopped me from having one. :smiley:

77

My dad caught me once. He said “Son, you better stop that or you’ll go blind!”

I said, “Dad, I’m over here…”