Ever been married to a Tiger Woods--what did you do?

Inspired by Handsome Harry’s thread asking guys this question–this is for both men and women. Have you been married and had your spouse cheat on you?

It happened to me. I became suspicious after he wouldn’t come home until late at night, wouldn’t tell me where he was, and wouldn’t answer his cell phone, so I tracked him down and found him in his favorite pub, mid-kiss with the woman he was cheating on me with. Much shouting and throwing things (I waited until he got home to do that) ensued. We worked through it and went to counseling, but I never looked at him the same way again, and after a few years the marriage kind of fell apart, even though at that time he wasn’t cheating, as far as I know.

So has this ever happened to you, and what did you do?

Went to therapy, did a lot of soul-searching, and stayed together. It wasn’t (and sometimes still isn’t) easy, but so far we’re hanging in there.

A very common outcome in these situations. The marriage is fatally holed below the waterline.

Not married, but I was with someone for ten years who was an habitual cheater. I didn’t find out until after I’d left him for other reasons, but it sure did make his attempts to win me back even easier to rebut.

Mine was a drug addict - not a recreational user, a full blown needle using junkie.
He cheated when he was using, which was most of the time he wasn’t in custody.
I just thought of it as another symptom of his addiction and it didn’t bother me on a personal “cheating” level. Don’t misunderstand, I wasn’t happy about it, or even ok with it. But it didn’t hurt me on a personal level. It was more just embarrassing. I slogged through 8 years and gave up.

The lying and theft bothered me much more.

When I was eighteen I was married for four months when my SO cheated (with a fourteen year old girl!) I was a few months pregnant at the time and quite emotional. We broke up immediately but he tried to talk me into reconciling when my daughter was born. I just couldn’t do it. I haven’t seen him since then.

It’s a bit different as with Woods there’s a huge amount of money at stake.

Mine started cheating almost right from the start of our marriage. I was trusting and forgiving and had no hard evidence for many years. In fact, it wasn’t until he accused me of never forgiving him for cheating on me with one particular person that I knew that all those nights he was spending at the bars weren’t nights spent alone. I thought we could keep it all together and work on things, but he was an alcoholic. Once he started drinking again, he started cheating again. I divorced him after he left me for his “soulmate”…who then dumped his cheating ass a few years later. Before the divorce I sat him down and made him tell me every time/woman he had cheated on me with in 16 years of marriage. There were over 9. I needed that information so I could finally kill any tiny shred of love I had for him.

If we had stayed together it would have been constant worry and wondering and suspicion every time he was late or not answering the phone.