Has anyone benefited by infidelity?

In My Humble Opinion
1

As a tangent to the cheating in relationships thread, has infidelity ever helped a relationship?

My now husband cheated and lied to me about 2 years into dating/living together ( We’ve been together going on 8 years now, married 2) about a short fling he had with someone. I found out accidentally (well after he had ended it), and broke up with him after. Funny thing was, if he had told me about it, I wouldn’t have been happy, and I was more upset about the lying and feeling like an idiot about it, and if he would have been honest about what happened, I might have felt differently. (Still hurt and pissed, mind you!) Well, long story short, he was sorry, and has done more than called for to earn my trust back. Even now, 5 years later, he is very aware of this, and what situations he avoids. He never blamed it on that fact that our relationship was rocky at the time (Which it was) and he was confused about where were going, and admitted he was selfishly enjoying this ego boost this person gave him, and let himself get carried away with it. Which during same time frame, had I the opportunity, I can’t say with certainty I would not have done the same thing, So I honestly cant blame him to too badly, (But I was still ready to end it. I had been cheated on by people who did it just because they could, with no remorse) So basically his cheating and our break up made him realize that he didn’t want to lose what we had, and after much work and talking, talking, talking and more talking then, we are talking more now, and communicating our feelings in a way we never would have had the cheating never happened.

So finally my point is that had the cheating never happened, we probably would never have opened up those lines of communication that we never even thought about, and actually made our relationship even stronger than before. And now I trust him more than ever, even though I do get jealous about stupid things, I know that ‘s my hang up to deal with and he even understands that and reassures me through that, too.

I’m wondering how many of you have survived infidelity, and did it change your relationship for the better, despite the hurt is surely caused?

2

Yep.

My ex cheated on me. We broke up. And, after that, we got along a lot better than we did before. We never dated again, he’s had a few girlfriedns, and I’m married, but we’re still friends.

Okay, granted. . .that isn’t exactly what you’re looking for. But, had there not been cheating, the relationship would have taken even longer to end, and we probably wouldn’t have been able to remain friends.

3

I am so happy that my ex-husband cheated on me with that Bimbo, moved out and we got divorced because I got rid of him and married someone much better.

Not what you are looking for either, but I was benefited by his infidelity.

4

I might very well have married my boring, bourgeoise, slightly insane girlfriend if she had not done me the favor of cheating on me and shocking me into the realization that she was so whacked-out. I took control of my life, got out of my rut, and chose a much more interesting career path (and, eventually, another much cooler woman). Thanks honey, and don’t bother to write!

5

Yes.

My father was in a very emotionally abusive relationship with a very emotionally abusive woman. She caused him to become more or less estranged from his (wonderful) parents. He met my mother, they fell in love, he got a divorce from his wife. Gave her all his money, basically, started over completely with my mother. Was a wonderful father to my oldest sister, had me and my youngest sister with our mother, and lived happily ever afte. Honestly. They have the relationship that I aspire to have when I get married.

-foxy

6

I know lots of happy and wealthy divorce attorneys.

I’d assume dozens of advice columnists, authors of Redbook and Cosmpolitan articles, private detectives, keystroke logger software programmers, fortunetellers, relationship counselors, and medical doctors who have reaped benefits of infidelity on an ongoing basis as well.

7

Yeah, not really what I meant, but I guess that answers my (poorly worded)question! :smack: