Last night I had this dream where I gave my wife her iPhone for Christmas but she already had an iTouch and I was disappointed, and then we were in Vegas and our room wasn’t ready and we flew home but then we flew back and they gave us a suite, and it was awesome, and various other confusing things happened. That’s how all my dreams are.
But at one point in the dream there was a really cool bit. I was attacked by a vampire, and I did battle with the vampire and kicked her ass. We were in what seemed like an abandoned store or something. Then I had her in a choke hold and it turned out the vampire was my evil long-ago ex-girlfriend, who’d become a vampire, the turncoat bitch. So I pulled a gun (I had not thought to use the gun when fighting her for some reason) and held it to her head, because for some reason it was going to benefit me to hold her as a hostage against the other vampires, and this followed:
ME: This gun’s bullets are silver-tipped. (Note: Even in the dream, I didn’t know if this was true or if I was talking shit.) So, now that you’re a vampire, what happens if I shoot you in the head?
HER: Massive brain damage… I’d probably die.
ME: And if I shoot you through the heart?
HER: I’d definitely die… but if you kill me, five hundred more vampires will come for you!
And then the line…
ME: I’ll be waiting. With five hundred bullets.
Come on. That’s pretty badass. And I made it up in a dream. Awesome!
What was your coolest (not involving an orgasm) dream moment?