I feel that way now. I don’t know what I’m going to do if one more thing goes wrong.
I feel like this often, but I don’t know what it is I’m doing wrong. Everything seems so hopeless and nothing I do works.
What do you DO when you feel like this?
Read the Dope?
Seriously what’s up?
Here are a few things which work for me, torie. They require some personal honesty and self-discipline and practice does provide results.
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Watch what’s going on in my head. Am I dwelling on the negatives and reciting a litany of my woes to myself and others? Listing them? “And there’s one more.” “I’m gonna blow.” If so I may be seeking sympathy excessively or setting myself up for a blowup which could exacerbate my problem.
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I try to disconnect the incidents from each other and myself. It’s easy to start to feel like you are being picked on by the Universe. Each item can be looked at as a separate incident from each of the others so they don’t seem so weighty.
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Develop a philosophical attitude toward life’s problems like this perhaps: Everybody has them. Would I trade with (name of someone with a lot of nasty problems?) My problems are opportunities for learning how to handle a lot of difficult situations and every one I solve without exploding is an accomplishment all by itself. I don’t have to be perfect, just get through this without hurting myself or others. I am able to ask for help if I get stuck. I don’t have to do it anyone’s way but my own way but it doesn’t hurt to take a poll of people I can trust to get some good ideas. There are always options. Twenty years from now how much will this matter to me?
Those are a few ways to be philosophical. There are others.
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Make a mental list of the order in which you need to tackle the issues and deal with one at a time. Set limits with anyone who tries to push you into more than you can handle at a time.
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Give yourself permission to ignore what you don’t feel you can deal with. There are other days to take it on. Sometimes problems go away all by themselves.
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Ask yourself if there’s anything you are doing to increase your anxiety. Not enough sleep? Too much caffeine? Runnning a worry tape in your head? Thinking negatively?
All these things have helped me. Hope some one of them is useful for you. Practice makes them more automatic.
When all else fails, I look in the mirror and say, “Tethered Kite? Suck it up.” Sometimes that’s just what I need for a laugh and to get some perspective on how important all my problems are.
At times, the only thing that has kept me sane is remembering that it is all temporary.
Once, when everything in my life had turned to shit overnight (lost my girl, my house, my job), my brother said to me, “Every so often, the Universe decides to shit on someone. Right now it’s your turn.”
It will pass.
IOW what MeanOldLady said, but using more electrons.
This happens to me, I’m unemployed right now and sometimes things just seem to pile on all at once be it lack of income, the phone and internet service out, dead car battery, sick pet, etc. What I do if I feel like I’m about to crack is allow myself one day to sit with the anxiety/self pity. The next day I take stock, make prioritized lists of things I can do to straighten things out and start to chip away at the list. Since a lot of issues will require days or weeks of follow-up I always try to tackle a couple of things I think I can get solved right away. At the end of the day I make another list of things I accomplished that day, for instance - the car is running again, I applied for another job listing, maybe I was able to pay a bill that I’d been holding. I think it’s okay to let yourself wallow as long as you impose a limit. For me a day is enough, by then I’m feeling even more powerless so taking some action, even baby steps is empowering.
Are your expectations reasonable? Are you beating yourself up because you think you should be doing better, or not living up to someone elses expectations?
You are only in competition with yourself.
Make a written list, complete the easy quick stuff, cross it off, start a new list, now tackle the worst stuff first - it’s really not as bad doing it as thinking about it.
Don’t take on other peoples stuff for a while while you focus on getting your stuff done.
Yep, I think my outlook on life got a lot better once I understood that sometimes “it’s not your fault, it’s just your turn.”
Exercise is usually helpful. Heck, even a long walk can do wonders instead of sitting around moping.
After going through a crappy miserable week I ended up going to the funeral of a parent who lost a child. The goal post of crap moved about a mile down the road.
Good friends help along with a few hobbies to distract the mind.
So true Magiver. A couple of months ago I was supposed to have lunch with a girlfriend and an older couple who’d just got married and were on honeymoon visiting. I’d had a bit of a grisly couple of days, but wanted to spare the couple my misery, so shot an email to my friend mid week about my woes.
She replied saying glad I’d done that because the couple wouldn’t be coming to lunch, the dude had dropped dead of a heart attack just now and she’d be the one needing to download.
Sometimes it does help to remember “it could be worse” and reflect on the stuff you do have.
And sometimes it does help to remember “this too will pass.”
Yeah, life gets really crappy sometimes. I’m in a relatively crappy spot right now.
Sometimes, I pick out one thing I *can *control, and I control the hell out of it. If I choose wisely, I have a pristine bathroom or a completely alphabetized CD collection at the end of the day. Pulling all the weeds out of a small area can give a soothing sense of accomplishment and control as well.
I’m having a very rough time at the moment. There are times when I’ve been on the verge of tears, but I’ve never had thoughts of suicide.
One thin that took me about 3 months to realise was that I was getting depressed partly because I wasn’t getting enough sunlight. I was getting up in the morning and getting straight on the computer to apply for jobs. My office faces West, so I wasn’t getting any direct light until the afternoon. Now I make sure I go downstairs, have a proper breakfast, and get some light.
Look, the Universe is not fair. Fair is a Human idea.
There is no fairness or justice in which seed blows into good soil, which seed blows into bad soil, and which seed is eaten by the mouse.
There is no fair in what lives and what dies.
There is no fair in whether this planet lives for 10 billion years or is sterilized by a Supernova tomorrow.
And this doesn’t mean anything except to prove that just because bad things are happening to you, that it is because you deserve it. It happens because it happens, because you happened to be the one in that place, because your tire just happened to be going bald and blew out, because a bunch of shit just happened to happen all at once TO YOU.
Now of course, if you’re talking about personal relationship stuff, then that is very different. We create that reality. But we don’t create the reality of when our car breaks down (except by not maintaining it), or when people around us get sick (unless you’re poisoning them), or when all manner of other shit happens, unless you’re some sick and twisted Munschausen Syndrome person who goes around creating your own disasters.