Have you ever quit something - a bad habit, drinking, smoking, etc. - and started it up again?
I have a history of self-injury. I have been “clean” for over three years and I started up again. 
The rational part of me “knows” what’s going on: anxiety about work, frustration about school and lots of changes in my life has caused me to return to a familiar behavior. sigh I left a message for my therapist and I’m watching myself very closely.
Loads of times. Mainly to do with exercising and/or eating.
I suppose right now could be counted as an “off the wagon” period, but I did go for a run today and besides I’m not off the wagon because I’m lazy and/or gluttonous but because my metabolism is so fucked up that I keep my weight anyway. I should motivate myself to exercise more - if I’m going to be thin anyway I might as well look as good as I can - but so far I’m nowhere near the frequency at which I used to be.
First, Mouse_Maven, let me say that I hope you are better soon. Please know that there are persons here on the Dope who care about you and wish you well.
Second…well, yeah. I have a problem with having anonymous sex. I tend to binge; I’ll go weeks, even months, without a hiccup, but then, when stress builds, I’ll go a trifle overboard. I slipped again about two weeks back and felt horribly bad in the aftermath, as I almost always do when I’ve just fucked women whose names I don’t know. It’s at least as self-destructive as cutting, I think.
Again, I hope you feel better soon.
First, Mouse_Maven, let me say that I hope you are better soon. Please know that there are persons here on the Dope who care about you and wish you well.
Second…well, yeah. I have a problem with having anonymous sex. I tend to binge; I’ll go weeks, even months, without a hiccup, but then, when stress builds, I’ll go a trifle overboard. I slipped again about two weeks back and felt horribly bad in the aftermath, as I almost always do when I’ve just fucked women whose names I don’t know. It’s at least as self-destructive as cutting, I think.
Again, I hope you feel better soon.
Yeah, I’ve got a bit of a self-destructive streak. I’ve had a lot of bad habits that I’ve fixed. Along the way, I’ve fallen off the wagon numerous times. I almost feel like living with all my bad habits in check is about as elusive as that one golf game where all parts of your game are in good shape and you have the round of your life.
Among my bad habits:
Smoking. I’ve smoked for a total of about 10 years, but in spurts. No matter how many times it’s demonstrated to me that I can never have another cigarette if I want to stay off the habit, I occasionally bum one at a bar and end up smoking for a month until I feel like quitting again. Very frustrating.
Eating poorly. Last year, I lost 55 lbs. on the South Beach Diet and have gained 20 of it back. I need to get my crap together and stop eating Carvel ice cream or I’ll gain all of it back.
Drinking. When I drink, I typically drink to get drunk, which sucks. I’ll have one or two “drink my face off” instances a year. I’ve wanted to stop drinking altogether since I do it so rarely to begin with. Might be easier now that I’m in my mid-30s and my hangovers last for three days.
Procrastination. Occasionally, I’ll be able to get a handle on this, but it’s rare. One of these days…
I have other bad habits that I won’t discuss here (nothing serious, but highly embarrassing to me). I almost feel like I won’t ever see the day when I’ve permanently banished all of these from my life, but I guess I can always hope. Life without bad habits is, well, pretty dull to me.
Thanks, Skald.
I’m more dissappointed than anything. A couple of months ago, I ended therapy. My shrink thought that my quality of life was very good. (The fact that I can figure out what is the root of some of my behavior being a sign of my good mental health.) This is temporary. Back sliding is a common occurance, I just have to make sure it stays temporary.
Maybe I’ll start a blog. How does “Academics is sucking the life out of me!” sound? 
Smoking. I’ve started and stopped three separate times, the latest start coming just last summer and extending to the present. The problem is, I really enjoy smoking, not just because it has a large medicinal effect on me but also because it tastes good. I don’t really have a desire to quit and I probably won’t unless I get pregnant (not going to happen) or get cancer or something. And even then, I don’t see quitting forever. I think it’s stuck this time.
Eating. I took over a year of my life to lose 75ish pounds, then gained back about 45 of it. Then I lost 50. Then I gained back 30. Then I lost it. Now I’m back up about 15 from my bottom weight and trying desperately to get back into my diet habit with running every night and riding my bike to work.
Every time I get to my ideal weight, I gain back the weight. Every time, I tell myself I’ll do better at maintaining.
Maybe this time…
I know what you mean about enjoying smoking. I don’t do it anymore, mainly because of the health effects and the collateral bad things like nicotine flavored fingers, clothes, hair, etc. But I like to think of smoking as one cake I wish I could have, and eat too.
You’re not alone. I’ve backslid into cutting again after truly thinking it wouldn’t happen again. It was difficult at first, facing the fact that I wasn’t ‘all right’ like I thought I was, but at least I learned morea bout myself and my limits. Sometimes you need to be shaken up so you can come back stronger.