I’m remembering . . .
Green Hungarian
Mateus
Annie Something-field’s
Cella
Tried it, hated it. It really burns going down. And then it’s difficult to dial 911.
Annie Greensprings. It just came to me. Yakked it up the only time I drank it.
But it makes your teeth so clean and white!
Thank you, thank you, Thank You, Cluricaun! Thank you for the fact that this wasn’t a euphamism for ‘implants’. 
Bad wines:
Mateuse
(so-named, because it was in the wine vat that the vintner dropped a deuce…? Or the sound made when the turd landed in the wine? :eek: )
Last week in the Hy-Vee liquor dep’t here in Ames, IA, was a big building-trades looking dude in dusty denims buying a case and a half of Boone’s Farm. Pink flavor, I think.
My guess is he was in charge of drinks for the house party, bought nothing but 4 24-paks of Old Swillwaukee, and got chewed out by the old lady.
That’d be my wife’s favorite, right there. I kid her about it all the time, since a gallon jug costs about six bucks.
But man, Lambrusco is Chateau Lafite Rothschild compared to “Two-Buck Chuck”. Charles Shaw makes wine so ghastly that pissing in the bottle would be a redundancy. But I’m sure the alcohol content of Two-Buck Chuck is too low to make it a true “bum wine”.
Years ago when I was a psychiatric crisis intervention specialist for an urban college, we started having a huge increase in crisis calls (such as sexual assault) that involved Cisco, which was a new drink at the time. My coworker and I decided to try it to see what the draw was. Once was sufficient.
Summer of 1992, I was in the 6th grade. One of the local news channels was running a big “Cisco is Liquid Crack” exposé. A few of my buddies and I saw it and did what any red-blooded American [del]idiots[/del] kids would do - we had some older kids buy us a couple of bottles and took it camping with us that weekend.
We got completely annihilated and sat smoking cigarettes and acting the fool around the campfire all night. Not long after that, my family got our first computer with a modem and I started dialing up to bulletin boards. I thought it would be a neat handle for awhile, and although that was the first and last time I ever drank the stuff, I’m still Cisco to this day.
Huh. Weird that I’ve never told that story here before.
Well I suppose there’s always one :eek:
Back when I was a drunk, I bought a bottle of Boone’s because I didn’t have enough cash for a 12-pack of beer. I drank the entire bottle in one sitting and never felt the slightest buzz.
After that my day-before-payday drink of choice was Mad Dog. But since I was normally a beer drinker, the MD tended to be a bit to strong for me. So I would buy a 2-liter bottle of 7-UP or Sprite along with the bottle of MD and mix the two. This also helped to make the bottle of MD last an entire evening, like a 12-pack of beer would (usually).
But man, that Mad Dog definitely had Novocain or something similar in it! If I was drinking it straight, pretty soon I’d be completely numb. Beer or whisky never did that to me.
Occasionaly I drank Wild Irish Rose, but MD was slightly more palatable. I don’t think I ever tried Night Train or Thunderbird. Those bottles looked … disreputable.