I'm Curious About "Wino" Liquors

For anyone who actually knows about these things, are some popskull liquors better than others? Is Night Train better than Mad Dog 20/20? What does Richard’s Wild Irish Rose taste like? Are some stronger than others, and is strength the main thing to your average wino? Or is it just that these liquors are known to be the cheapest?

Any anecdotes are welcome. I could just go out and buy some to do my own research, I suppose. But I’d like to make an educated buy.

MD 20/20 ain’t half bad, as those things go. Night Train is crap. Gallo Hearty Burgundy is damn good for the price.

Here you go.

My mom told me she used to drink MD as a teen. From reading the bumwines site (which I’ve seen before, good shit) I’d try it first. And it’s one that I often see at liquor stores, but that may just be because I already recognized the name of it; there may have been Cisco and Thunderbird at liquor stores I’ve been too and I just didn’t notice.


MD 2/20: EASY going down, AWFUL coming up!:o

Apart from the 5 brands listed in Bumwines, are there any other notorious wino liquors?

Mad dog is basically Kool-aid mixed with Grain Alcohol. Really sweet and fake fruit tasting.

The first thing this thread reminded me of was Donald Westlake’s Dortmunder series, where the characters would often drink (if I have the name right) “Albert’s Bourbon – Our Own Brand!”

ETA: In my alcoholic days, I’d usually drink the cheapest ass vodka I could find, usually Popov’s. It was like drinking antifreeze, but without the flavor.

It doesn’t seem to be official but the first thing that popped into my head was Boone’s Farm wine but the description on the site listed it as for highschoolers which is who I have the most experience watching drink it.

Boy howdy! Hearty Burgundy doesn’t belong on any list of bum wines. Great stuff to serve a crowd at a picnic or BBQ. If you don’t let the wine snobs see the bottle, they’ll think it’s a good, mid-level California Red (which it is.)

Anecdote: Our school mascot is the Thunderbird, because the Class of 1968 voted on it when we moved to the new campus. What most don’t know is that we were just a few votes away from being called the Ripples. :smiley:

Do you not have Buckfast in the states? I used to drink it as a kid, great stuff.

It was created by the monks of Buckfast Abbey, has huge amounts of caffeine and had a cameo role in Trainspotting.

Fleischmann’s got me through college.

As a teen, we drank MD 20/20, Wild Irish Rose, it was all good. Then they came out with this stuff called Cisco, and that was it. We had found the nectar of the gods.

I quit drinking at about 20 and didn’t go back until this year. I drink only tequila now, and could not imagine drinking wine at all, let alone cheap wine. But, I do recall Cisco was sweet, yummy, ice cold and quick to get you tipsy. I wonder if they still make it.

ETA: I see MySkepticSight has already mentioned Cisco. I thought Cisco was just known to my tiny group of friends, and not to anyone else ever. Hmm.

They probably still make Cisco. I used to drink it in high school, and purchased some maybe three years ago or so for nostalgia purposes. It was terrible, and gave me a stomach ache. More Jameson, less Cisco.

Yeah, I can vouch for that. I went through this masochistic phase in college where I’d drink warmed Mad Dog. You know, just pop the bottle in the oven for a few minutes. :smack:

Don’t overlook the “others” page on BumWine.com; they include some other doozies, such as Boone’s Farm, Buckfast, and Ripple. And the “where to buy” page actually has addresses where you can buy the stuff, including pictures. Yep, they do still make Cisco; it looks like there are even new flavors and a new bottle design.

I can’t see the Bumwines site from work, but is Boone’s farm on it? Their strawberry wine was a big hit back in the day. I’ve had some experience with MD 20/20 as well. Ah the good old days when you had no money, no taste and no tolerance.

ETA: Just missed Max Torque’s post!

Riunite on ice… that’s nice.

Having…ahem…sampled Ripple, Gallo, MD 20/20, Boone’s Farm, and the aforementioned Ruinite as a less-than-legally-allowed-to-drink-age, I can say this:

These wines are like Taco Bell food. If your goal is to get hammered (fed), go for it. If you want quality (and don’t want what you ate/drank coming back up), spend the bucks and get the real thing.

My husband has an “event” from his freshman year of college, triggered by a whole lot of MD, called “Night of the Purple Fountain” - the fountain effect was when it made its return appearance.

Even so, he was still masochistic enough to try their “kiwi” flavored version about 4 years later. Yuck.

There was a bottle of Aristocrat brand vodka in a basket of spirts we once won in a raffle. It made awesome vodka sauce, and it must have been due to a particular combination of congeners, because this brand has a reputation for being too harsh even for alcoholic bums. And I can’t find it for sale anywhere, and I really want it for the vodka sauce. So hard to find. And I do go to liquor stores next to bus depots and the like, hoping I’ll find it.

And Old Crow makes great mushroom sauce for steaks. Thought I’d share that info under the heading of what to do with wino grade spirits.