Specifically Buckfast. I’ve found places mail-ordering it in the UK and EU, but not to the States. I’ve looked about a little bit and it seems like it’s too foreign for shitty liquor stores, but too shitty for good importers.
Bad wine #2 is Night Train, of Guns n Roses fame. Do I just go to shady liquor stores and hope, or is there some other way?
In the States, you might have to settle for one of these.
Is Night Train wine? I thought it was like Brass Monkey.
I’m curious, pour quoi?
I’ve seen Night Train and (What’s the word?) Thunderbird mainly at neighborhood beer depots/liquor stores, I don’t think you’d find it at the local grocery store.
Your best luck would probably be visiting those shady liquor stores that have everything, even the candy, behind bulletproof glass where you have to talk to the guy through a speaker to ask for your $2.00 fifth of Fleischmann’s or whatever.
You can always check here.
I had Buckfast in Belfast and one of my friends has decided he needs to try the stuff. I’m an idiot and have agreed to embark on this journey again.
As for Night Train, I’m an idiot and curious about what GnR was so infatuated with.
It all boils down to idiocy.
Why do you think they call it Dope? 
Wild Irish Rose is available here for $7.19 a liter to the half.
Boonie’s for your girlfriend.
Do Not Board The Night Train!!!
Way back 18 yr ol’ elelle advises. You’d do better to mix Everclear and Strawberry Kool-Aid, at fraction of the cost, with the same awful effect.
The Night Train will heave your guts into yond, and leave a pounding pounding pounding headache. That romantic graphic on the label isn’t a journey into uncharted mental territory; it’s a warning of the nonstop engine that will run right through your entire being the next day, pounding pounding pounding…rat-atchach rat-atchach rat-atchach, over and over and over, until the bright light of day breaks your foggy mind spell, and that light really hurts, bad. You wonder why you were ever born…
It is cheap, though.